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in thinking our partners should be able to pick out xmas pressies for us?

(68 Posts)
KerryMumbles Fri 03-Dec-10 10:08:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrillianAstra Fri 03-Dec-10 10:10:24

Depends on the partner, doesn't it?

And on how controlling you are.

And on what you want.

There are some things where I believe DP could pick out a good one very well, other things I would prefer to choose for myself.

Niceguy2 Fri 03-Dec-10 10:11:51


Your partner is not a mind reader.

For me, I don't even know what I want so I dread to think how my partner would know!

KerryMumbles Fri 03-Dec-10 10:12:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

deaddei Fri 03-Dec-10 10:12:33

I have no idea what to get dh- he wants specific things for sailing, so I need to know exactly what he wants.
I have no idea what to get him for his stocking either.
I have already given him my present to wrap smile

deaddei Fri 03-Dec-10 10:13:07

And I remember the miserable Christmas we got surprises sad

nobiggy Fri 03-Dec-10 10:14:23

It's the thought that counts.

Anything that displays some thought. Some forethought. Some knowledge of me, and some consideration of what I might like.

Not a cheese grater bought in Waitrose on Christmas Eve.

Bitter? Me?

Gay40 Fri 03-Dec-10 10:15:31

I don't think there's a one rule fits all with this. I'm notoriously difficult to buy for and find it impossible to fake gratitude so in my case, I can't really be surprised. DP has managed a few times but not with gifts, more the planning and paying for a weekend and arranging childcare, leaving me nothing to think about but my own suitcase. And that's more of a gift than anything physical.

Gay40 Fri 03-Dec-10 10:16:12

Even my own parents have no idea what to get me.

Jins Fri 03-Dec-10 10:16:30

I feel your pain nobiggy

christmasheave Fri 03-Dec-10 10:16:37

Once, I let my DH select my Christmas present without my input. ONCE.

I got a vibrator and a 2ft high stuffed penguin!!!

Now I would not consider myself to be controlling, but I have been very, very specific ever since.

deaddei Fri 03-Dec-10 10:17:14

lol "fake gratitude".
I too am very bad at this.

JamieLeeCurtis Fri 03-Dec-10 10:18:11

Sometimes my DH is inspired in his present-giving. But sometimes what I really want is something really practical, and I know he needs me to spell it out to him because he would feel bad about not being "romantic"

festivefriedawhingesagain Fri 03-Dec-10 10:20:04

I have bought a couple of things already for DH to wrap for me. Not out of being controlling but I am but because they were things he would buy me anyway on special offer.

Like the new Nigel Slater book - he would have bought that at the last minute at full price. So I nabbed it from Amazon at about 60% off <bargain>

cory Fri 03-Dec-10 10:21:31

Depends. I quite like specialist books for Christmas, dh quite likes specialist art stuff.I really don't feel unhappy about the fact that he doesn't know about the latest publications on South American catfish; I drop gentle hints in good time for Christmas.

Otherwise I'd end up with generic "gifts suitable for a woman", and even dh knows I hate that sort of thing.

DVDs are just about the only welcome "surprise gift" we can give one another.

Stangirl Fri 03-Dec-10 10:22:05

My DP looks at me with fear if I ever say "no, you choose me something without me telling you". It happened again last night.

He buys abysmal presents. Like he has no idea who I am. In fact he has now taken to encouraging us to buy each other a joint present at Xmas eg an expensive laptop to share - so he doesn't have to think at all. He's currently angling to try and get me to find a new sofa to fulfill this Xmas' requirement but I think I'm going to hold firm and ask for some jewellery (nothing pricey).

He once went to the shops on Xmas day to get me a card and came back with a "Happy Birthday Son" one.

SantasENormaSnob Fri 03-Dec-10 10:23:04

I give a huge list of things I would like and dh just chooses some so I don't actually know what I am getting but it will definately be something I like.

Works for us, dh happy, I'm happy and no wasted money/unwanted gift.

Gay40 Fri 03-Dec-10 10:23:34

I cannot see the point of buying presents for yourself for someone else to wrap. It's what you do for kids!

KerryMumbles Fri 03-Dec-10 10:23:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Niceguy2 Fri 03-Dec-10 10:26:35

Christmasheave I lol'ed at that one!

I've gotten better over the years but I do remember when younger I did buy my (now ex)GF "Who wants to be a millionare" board game as her main present!

Wonder why she's my ex? confused

Jins Fri 03-Dec-10 10:29:04

Every year people can't wait to find out what unsuitable junk my DH has decided is just what I always wanted. It's become a bit of a joke. Every year he is given hints and my friends have offered to help him buy something suitable but he insists that this year he knows just the thing.

These things have included kitchen tools, bathroom scales, a kitchen clock, a compilation cd that we already had....

It makes me a bit sad

TheMeow Fri 03-Dec-10 10:29:10

DH is really good at picking presents for me but I am terrible at picking presents for him.

I blame it on the fact that his hobbies are so boring specialised (Computers/Cars/Stamps/KISS) that I would need to ask him if he wanted something and then get him to pick the exact thing or I would get it wrong or get him something he already has.

KerryMumbles Fri 03-Dec-10 10:34:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bossyboop Fri 03-Dec-10 10:40:04

I ABVU in expecting my partner to do that. I understand what you mean. I could spend hundreds on my DH, clothes, aftershave, computer games, he is easy to buy for. He has no idea what I like, even though we have been together 12 years. We go shopping together and picks out clothes for me I would never wear. He has to have a list but even that gets confusing, last year I asked for a black satin dressing gown and I got black satin pjs that were too small as he couldnt get the dressing gown. I find asking for dvds, cds and DS games easiest, last year I wrote a list of suggestions, he bought the lot, 10 packages came from HMV in the post so there was no surprise what I was getting. When the snow goes we will go browsing so I can point at things!

It would be lovely to get some surprises though, after all the effort I put into the presents I get for others I do at times feel I put my heart and soul into christmas and dont get any where near as much effort put into making it a nice christmas for me. He does however have these rare moments where he buys a present that im totally unaware of like the Jane norman dress which was exactly what I would chose or the jewellery set from h samuels or the giant box of thorntons or the tickets to see one of my favourite comedians..see he is not as bad as I thought!

BootyMum Fri 03-Dec-10 10:52:51

Stangirl grin

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