Buggeration and wank, I'm really annoyed.
DCs (3&5) have never been christened although it is something that both me an DH feel we want to do. In all honesty we just haven't got round to it
My dad and DHs mum have been nagging asking when we are going to do it and we vaguely mentioned this winter.
Now for some background:
10 years ago - before DH and I were married, his brother and his brothers wife asked me to be godmnother to their second born DS. (DH is godfather to first born). Apparently they had 'checked' with DH that we were 'serious' - so that presumably I would 'be around for the duration' and then they asked. I said yes and we talked about the fact that if anything happened between DH and I, it would not effect my commitment to my godson. As things turned out, DH and I married and my godson is now also my nephew.
Roll forward to a couple of years ago and I told DH that I would like my two best girlfriends (both childless and very fond of my DCs) to be godmothers. They are both people I love dearly and people whose morals, values, humour etc I cherish. I am the only child of an only child so have virtually no family of my own. To me, this was a way of introducing some permanent fixtures into my DCs lives who happened to be lovely people.
DH was fine with this and thought he would ask his two best friends to be godfathers.
This did not go down well with BIL and SIL. Apparently we were supposed to 'ask back'. I told both of them that I loved them and valued their input in my children's lives but having such a small family myself, I thought this was an opportunity to 'expand it'. I tried to explain that my personal feelings are that our DCs already have BIL and SIL as Aunt and Uncle. This explanation was not well received either. I then want on to say that actually, I thought having godparents who were already family was a bit of a wasted opportunity. I was made to feel a bit cold and as though I didn't understand how 'real families' worked. We let it slide...
Now we have started talking about pinning down dates, and are back to the elephant in the room. Yesterday my MIL started shit stirring talking about how BIL and SIL are so upset that they might not be godparents and BIL and SIL have actually been quite spiteful, telling anyone who will listen that I am choosing my friends because they are 'wealthy girls from west london, not working class people from essex' . This is absolute bollocks.
Finally, I called SIL tonight and told her (again) why I wanted to ask my friends. That it was not because we didn't want her, but I felt we already had her in her role as Aunt etc. She pointed out that girls can have two godmothers to which I replied "yes, you are right, they can". This was supposed to be non committal but 10 mins later we got a call from MIL saying "oh I am so pleased you have asked BIL & SIL to be godmother. it was the right thing to do"
I feel a bit sick. I could bite the bullet and let it go ahead but I know it will always make me angry as it was not our decision and we are being railroaded. On the other hand, I can't face another stupid conversation about me picking my 'mates because they are posh'. They're not and it's irrelevant.
AIBU to just roll with it even though the principal of the thing is now making me really cross.
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AIBU?
to think choosing godparents who are already family is a 'waste'?
44 replies
SlightlyJaded · 02/12/2010 21:45
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