to think there is nothing as embarrassing as a joke falling flat on it's arse...

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

I can't stop thinking about it.

[BottleOfRum]

Tell the joke... you know you want to

[LostArt]

Are you ready to talk about it?

[ChickensHaveNoMercyForTurkeys]

C'mon. Spill.

[pancakequeen]

we want to hear it so that we can revel in your embarrassment

[GlynistheMincePie]

come on, what did you do?



we promise not to laugh at least if we do you won't hear --us-

[tethersjinglebellend]

Aw, I'll tell you my Dad's joke he made to a packed lecture hall once to make you feel better (and spill it):

Vincent Van Gogh sits in a pub. His mate comes in and spots him; he shouts "Hey! Vincent! Fancy a pint?"

Vincent replies "No thanks, I've already got one"



Shit."I've got one 'ere (ear)"

[BottleOfRum]

Ouch Tethers, I am burning up on his behalf, and my DH does this also!

"I went to a zoo with just one animal. It was a shit zoo"



"Oh no.. wait, I meant there was just one DOG. It was a shitzu".

Bless 'im.

[MaDugHerDecsOut]

does it involve corners and carpet explosions :(

[BalloonSlayer]

I remember someone trying to tell this one:

"Whaddaya call a deer with one eye?"

"What?"

"One eye deer."

< tumbleweed >

< Joke-teller looks perplexed at failure of joke that convulsed the room when she heard it >

Says I ... "Er, isn't it supposed to be a deer with NO eyes?"

"Ah yes! Right... So what do you call a deer with no eyes?"

[KurriKurri]

My DH changes/forgets the punchline of all jokes, so that they are not remotely funny. Then when he is met with tumbleweed he says 'yeah it's not very good is it? - Kurri told it to me'

[sunshineriver]

Ah yes but BalloonSlayer what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs....?

[sunshineriver]

Or indeed, a deer with no eyes and no legs that's on fire...?

[MistressMaker]

Well?

[nannynobblystockingnobs]

Still no flamin'idea :)

[sunshineriver]

hehehe yes NannyNobbly! Love those jokes, if people haven't heard them they go down quite well!

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

I can't.... It wasn't a joke, it was me trying to be witty and clever and I am so ashamed. Someone sent me a text, I spoof-ed it and sent it back sort of thing and they text again totally not "lol-ing" at my text (I don't think they got it) and now they probably think I am bonkers. Oh god, I keep doing it too. They honestly must think I am insane, I keep making crap joke after crap joke. It's like an illness. OMG I can't even think about it.

[GlynistheMincePie]

It's called 'foot in mouthitis' and i suffer from it too...

It's ok, they won't hang you for it

[Jumpty]

A few years ago there was a bbc.com news report about the chairman of the US Fed with a picture of him looking exactly like Dad Royle, Ricky Wassisname, from the Royle Family. I forwarded it to my boss with the message "Chairman of the Fed, my arse" tried to bring it up in conversation to explain my odd email Damn telly avoiders!

[venusandchristmars]

what do you call a deer with no legs and no bollocks?

still no fucking idea

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

Googled Fed man... he doesn't look like Jim Royle (think it's Jim to be fair.


I have to see this person later.... I actually feel a little sick.