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to think there is nothing as embarrassing as a joke falling flat on it's arse...

(22 Posts)
ASecretLemonadeDrinker Thu 02-Dec-10 14:21:26

blushblush I can't stop thinking about it.

BottleOfRum Thu 02-Dec-10 14:25:11

Tell the joke... you know you want to grin

LostArt Thu 02-Dec-10 14:26:05

Are you ready to talk about it? grin

ChickensHaveNoMercyForTurkeys Thu 02-Dec-10 14:26:14

C'mon. Spill.

pancakequeen Thu 02-Dec-10 14:27:58

we want to hear it --so that we can revel in your embarrassment--

GlynistheMincePie Thu 02-Dec-10 14:30:20

come on, what did you do?

we promise not to laugh at least if we do you won't hear --us-

Filibear Thu 02-Dec-10 14:35:16

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

tethersjinglebellend Thu 02-Dec-10 14:36:04

Aw, I'll tell you my Dad's joke he made to a packed lecture hall once to make you feel better (and spill it):

Vincent Van Gogh sits in a pub. His mate comes in and spots him; he shouts "Hey! Vincent! Fancy a pint?"

Vincent replies "No thanks, I've already got one"


Shit."I've got one 'ere (ear)"

BottleOfRum Thu 02-Dec-10 14:43:03

Ouch Tethers, I am burning up on his behalf, and my DH does this also!

"I went to a zoo with just one animal. It was a shit zoo"

<complete silence>

"Oh no.. wait, I meant there was just one DOG. It was a shitzu".

Bless 'im.

MaDugHerDecsOut Thu 02-Dec-10 14:46:57

does it involve corners and carpet explosions

BalloonSlayer Thu 02-Dec-10 14:47:28

I remember someone trying to tell this one:

"Whaddaya call a deer with one eye?"


"One eye deer."

< tumbleweed >

< Joke-teller looks perplexed at failure of joke that convulsed the room when she heard it >

Says I ... "Er, isn't it supposed to be a deer with NO eyes?"

"Ah yes! Right... So what do you call a deer with no eyes?"

KurriKurri Thu 02-Dec-10 14:52:56

My DH changes/forgets the punchline of all jokes, so that they are not remotely funny. Then when he is met with tumbleweed he says 'yeah it's not very good is it? - Kurri told it to me'

sunshineriver Thu 02-Dec-10 15:14:50

Ah yes but BalloonSlayer what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs....? grin

sunshineriver Thu 02-Dec-10 15:15:44

Or indeed, a deer with no eyes and no legs that's on fire...? grin grin

MistressMaker Thu 02-Dec-10 15:16:38


nannynobblystockingnobs Thu 02-Dec-10 15:17:56

Still no flamin'idea

sunshineriver Thu 02-Dec-10 15:24:39

hehehe yes NannyNobbly! Love those jokes, if people haven't heard them they go down quite well!

ASecretLemonadeDrinker Thu 02-Dec-10 16:52:45

I can't.... It wasn't a joke, it was me trying to be witty and clever and I am so ashamed. Someone sent me a text, I spoof-ed it and sent it back sort of thing and they text again totally not "lol-ing" at my text (I don't think they got it) and now they probably think I am bonkers. Oh god, I keep doing it too. They honestly must think I am insane, I keep making crap joke after crap joke. It's like an illness. OMG I can't even think about it.

GlynistheMincePie Thu 02-Dec-10 17:14:24

It's called 'foot in mouthitis' and i suffer from it too...

It's ok, they won't hang you for it wink

Jumpty Thu 02-Dec-10 17:20:52

A few years ago there was a news report about the chairman of the US Fed with a picture of him looking exactly like Dad Royle, Ricky Wassisname, from the Royle Family. I forwarded it to my boss with the message "Chairman of the Fed, my arse" <tumbleweed> tried to bring it up in conversation to explain my odd email <more tumbleweed> Damn telly avoiders!

venusandchristmars Thu 02-Dec-10 17:47:31

what do you call a deer with no legs and no bollocks?

still no fucking idea

ASecretLemonadeDrinker Fri 03-Dec-10 09:19:42

Googled Fed man... he doesn't look like Jim Royle (think it's Jim confused to be fair.

I have to see this person later.... I actually feel a little sick. blush

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