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To want to get married again?

(10 Posts)
EricNorthpolesChristmas Thu 02-Dec-10 11:18:15

This has literally just crossed my mind after reading another thread. DH and I got married abroad, in a country in which marriage isn't recognised in the UK. So for all visa purposes he's my spouse, we have a marriage certificate with a certified translation by the embassy of his country, but legally we aren't married. This has never bothered me before, I'm not religious and as far as I'm concerned we're married. We once had a plan to get married again in the UK for family and friends who couldn't make the first one, but then my GPs died and we were (are) skint and it never happened...and this year we have gone through a near separation and I wouldn't want people to think it's an 'we nearly split up so let's renew our vows to cement our marriage' type thing....

I'm the main earner, we have no assets, DH is on DS's birth certificate, so we have no real need for legal protection, but I just had an urge to do it legally. It would be a registry office plus pub meal type thing, I might try to diet back into my original dress but we wouldn't be able to pay £££££ for people's meals, flowers etc. I could try to put away £500 for it to pay towards meals/booze and a DJ and could do it by next year...so what do people think? Would you bother?

FWIW most of my best friends came to the first one, plus all my immediate family and my aunt who has since died. My GPs died since and there is only one aunt I am close enough to to care about her coming, and one cousin who lives in Oz.

Mum2HarryandBen Thu 02-Dec-10 11:21:45

As you are the main earner, and speaking from a divorcee aspect, I would not bother. He is on bc so has pr.

Could you just have some sort of party and get into your dress again on an aniversary?

YANBU!

EricNorthpolesChristmas Thu 02-Dec-10 11:25:19

I suppose we could just have a party! It's our 5 year anniversary in January 2012 so was thinking of doing it then if at all. I suppose if we split up it will be easier if we aren't married in the UK...<ponders cynically....>

In fact we do have an asset but it's in his country so technically my interest in that is protected anyway.

Ok I'll start a secret maybe wedding fund and if I like him enough I'll suggest having a 5th anniversary/uk wedding party. That way we could get the cheap room at the town hall and have a party after and people wouldn't expect lots of fancy canapes and crap....

lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs Thu 02-Dec-10 11:27:10

where did you get married?

ItalianLady Thu 02-Dec-10 11:30:16

If you want to do it you should but you shouldn't care what anyone else thinks. Is it because you nearly split up though?

RockinRobinBird Thu 02-Dec-10 11:31:51

You're going to hate me for this and I absolutely don't mean to offend and apologise profusely if the wrong tree is being barked up but....

My first thought was if you don't get married here and then you split up, what protection do you have if he wants to take DS back home?

strumpet82 Thu 02-Dec-10 11:44:54

My thoughts were similar rockingrobinbird...

strumpet82

LoudRowdyDuck Thu 02-Dec-10 11:59:19

Up to you if you want to. You have the same (ie., minimal) rights as non-married parents, I guess.

Be aware it might cost you a bit more to get married in the registry office if you have to get a certificate of approval to do so, but I expect you don't if you've already got a spousal visa.

EricNorthpolesChristmas Thu 02-Dec-10 12:10:42

Hi all...
we got married in morocco. Thanks for the concern but getting married here would make zero difference to my 'rights' over DS if we split, I have PR (obviously) and the law in morocco states that children should be with the mother until 16 if parents divorce, unless there is a good reason why not. His family would not support him if he tried to take DS away from me (not that he would, I know him, I know he wouldn't, even if he wanted to he's too lazy to want to be a f/t dad grin)
No i don't think because it's because we nearly split, but that's why i would want to wait a bit anyway, to make sure we are properly back on track. I don't believe a wedding can be a sticking plaster for a broken relationship so I'd need to know we have fixed it properly first.

PaisleyLeaf Thu 02-Dec-10 12:36:30

I can't actually tell if you want to or not. But if you do why don't you just do it by yourselves?

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