To have let two of my kids have Mcdonalds for lunch but not the other?

[Kyrpto]

Name-changed incase I'm flamed.

I have three children aged 10, 12 and 14. The 14 year old is extremely lazy and won't do ANYTHING that requires any effort. She's still in bed now (school closed due to snow) and will be until at least 12pm. Now and again when the youngest two are both home from school, they will go back out to shop and get themselves some sweets or something from the bakery. My 14 year old would NEVER walk down to the shop so hands them a list of what to get her. It really annoys me to be honest. There is no need for such lazyness. So yesterday my youngest two hatched up a plan to walk down to mcdonalds and buy themselves a meal deal for their lunch. My eldest catches wind of it and starts rummaging around for change to give them so they can bring hers back. God forbid SHE have to walk anywhere - especially in the snow so I told her anyone that wants a mcdonalds, can walk down to mcdonalds and buy themselves something. She immediately went off in a huff but still refused to go and went without. So the story she fed my husband when he came home was that I'd allowed the youngest two to have Mcdonalds for their lunch and not her. Husband takes her side, says I'm being petty and that it was wrong of me to allow the other two to "swan in" with mcdonalds and to have not brought her any back and apparantly its only common courtesy to ask anyone if they want anything bringing back if you're off to shop. Yes it is but I feel she is totally taking advantage. If she wants something, she should get off her arse and go and get it. She'd NEVER go out to shop and bring the other two something back.
So was I in the wrong?

[ItalianLady]

Not at all. Your dh shouldn't undermine you in front of her. If he has a problem he should discuss it with you later.

[JJ]

I agree with you - for all the reasons you gave.

[curlymama]

You were not in the wrong at all.

I hope your DH didn't say that in front of her.

[Kyrpto]

Well there was only us two in the room but I guarantee she would have been listening.

[duchesse]

YANBU.

Your husband needs to side with you, not your manipulative teen. Many fathers do not understand quite how devious teenagers can be though, until they witness it for themselves.

[harassedinhertinselpants]

YANBU!

I know all teenagers are pretty much the same, but she can't rely on her younger siblings all the time.

I'd be furious if my dh did that to me too.

[classydiva]

I think you were right. Good for you.

[TheBolter]

YANBU. 'Nuff said!

Teens are notoriously lazy and precious though...

[MistressMaker]

YANBU

[HowsTheSerenity]

No, YANBU. Stand you ground. I think that maybe you should talk to your other two that they should start charging for their services. Once is a favour. Every time is just taking the piss. Tell them to tell her that the cost is a chocolate bar

[duchesse]

The younger two should build in enormous carriage costs and turn it into a business. Might be fun to see quite how much avoiding a short walk is worth to a 14 yo.

[Kyrpto]

well it annoys me when I see the younger two trapse back into the house, covered in snow, wet through, bright red cheeks, blue hands and DD1 comes shuffling down the stairs in her dressing gown all nice and warm to receive her order. It's just not on. Glad you all agree with me!

[Vallhala]

Another mum of a lazy elder teenager here - YANBU and I'd have done the same.

[onceamai]

YANBU.

[QueenGigantaurofMnet]

your husband is a cock.

you taught her an important lesson.

[PhishFoodAddiction]

YANBU.

I agree that if your youger kids go to the shop or McDonald's, and DD wants something bringing back, they should charge her extra!

[PhishFoodAddiction]

younger even.

[cakewench]

YANBU.

I think the MN court has spoken.

[cakewench]

Phish- I was thinking the exact same. Let the younger ones profit from her laziness. :)

[asdx2]

My older ones willingly pay a fee to dd when she brings them stuff back from town. Works well here they hate shopping, she loves it, they pay her busfare and tell her to keep the change.If your dd did the same maybe it would be more fair.

[LaWeaselMys]

Yes, yes - definately suggest your youngest charge quietly!

[duchesse]

No no not quietly weasel. Tell her in advance it will cost £1 per item and get the cash upfront!

[silverfrog]

what's a standard take-away delivery charge in your area?

she should pay that at the very least, not to mention an extreme weather rpemium, etc etc.

YANBU at all to try to teach her that taking advantage of others' is not nice. if all things were equal, and she was goign to shovel sno for you instead of going to MCDs then of course she should be brought something back.

but becasue she can't be bothered? well she ahs to pay a penalty then - either go without or pay a delivery charge.

[holidays2010]

YANBU, your DH on the other hand is. I hate it when my OH sides with my daughter in front of her, completely undermines me. It's so infuriating but I think it's a weakness men have. My OH seems to think giving in to my DD1's demands makes for an easier life, now she tattle tells on every little thing I do! Kids can be so deviously clever.