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Not sure why it rankles

(148 Posts)
ARepleteHmmSkiNun Wed 01-Dec-10 23:11:32

Hello I changed my name as I only post on other boards. Not that I post very often anyway. I don't generally feel the need to comment or ask advice but I find myself thinking about something too much in my opinion. I don't really know why and it annoys me.
Anyway I went to a neighbour's house to ask them something. They tend to keep themselves to themselves but are ok. I spent about 20 minutes there discussing this and that, questions, answers, bit of humour all the normal stuff. Anyway the husband mentioned something about cricket. I don't know anything about cricket really and told an old joke about Pakistan and the world cup, which was actually a joke about football which I know just as little about. Then her husband told some joke about flying carpets exploding which I must admit I don't quite remember. Anyway she gave her husband one of those looks (often given by those who are a bit socially insecure to their significant other when actually directing their comments at the other person in the room but looking for support and agreement from their partner - do you know what I mean?) and said that Peter (their son of about 13) would say that what her husband said was racist and that you can learn from young people you know. The husband and I continued the conversation without reference to her point as I, and perhaps him, felt a little embarrassed, because it quite obviously begged the question from me as to why it was racist.

So the point being, imo she was being particularly English and indirect/dishonest and accusing me of being racist. I certainly am not. I think she is the type of person who is very quick to find offence on other people's behalf when none exists, cetainly not detectable by the sort of person she assumes she is "protecting"
I do dislike dishonesty, hypocrisy and the type of naive liberalism (the type of liberalism which is derived from a general social theory of being "nice" but actually never rigorously looks at the consequences of its actions) which seems common nowadays.
Am I reading too much into this? I don't know why it rankles. Perhaps I shouldn't find it offensive to be called a racist by a person who is too stupid to realise she is racist, but perhaps it is better to let such things go in a casual social encounter with one's neighbours. Perhaps it rankles because I should have brought her up on it and asked her why she thought that but I only popped round to ask something and didn't want to get drawn into a long political/sociological discussion.

scurryfunge Wed 01-Dec-10 23:14:22


Folicacid Wed 01-Dec-10 23:14:33


I thnk we need a bit more detail here.

MerrilyDefective Wed 01-Dec-10 23:14:59


ilovehens Wed 01-Dec-10 23:15:28

I think people are so brainwashed into being politically correct these days that they don't know what to think or how to behave.

AnyFuleSno Wed 01-Dec-10 23:16:16

from the way you've told it, she was saying that her H was being racist, no?

SlightlyJaded Wed 01-Dec-10 23:16:46

confused. The whole exchange sounds bear

tethersjinglebellend Wed 01-Dec-10 23:17:30


SandStorm Wed 01-Dec-10 23:18:16

How is she racist?

LaWeaselMys Wed 01-Dec-10 23:19:13

If you don't tell us the jokes we have no idea if you and he were being racist.

Therefore we've got no idea if she was being hypocritical. I can't see where she was racist at all.

scurryfunge Wed 01-Dec-10 23:19:34

Sorry OP, I don't understand.

Rindercella Wed 01-Dec-10 23:20:19

It appears that you believe you are intellectually superior to this woman and therefore it rankles you that she implied that you were racist where in fact you believe she is (for no discernable reason going on your OP)?

Why can't the bear be a Christmas bear?

Have a festive biscuit instead.

SparkleSoiree Wed 01-Dec-10 23:21:40

It reads like you have thought yourself into a spinning circle!

tethersjinglebellend Wed 01-Dec-10 23:23:03

Not sure Sandstorm- didn't understand a bloody word. I'm 87% certain that s/he is though.

Folicacid Wed 01-Dec-10 23:23:12

I think I'm now in a spinning circle. Who said what to whom and in what way, there was insecure looks, jokes with no lasting memory, a lack of support, a teengager's name taken in vain...


DuelingFanio Wed 01-Dec-10 23:23:31

So you told a racist joke and someone called you on it?

ARepleteHmmSkiNun Wed 01-Dec-10 23:24:57

Oops. I must be confused. I shall have to take a deep breath and think this through on my own.

LaWeaselMys Wed 01-Dec-10 23:25:12

As far as I can tell yes, someone called OP and their husband on being racist.

Magically this makes the only rational person in the story racist too.

LoopyLoops Wed 01-Dec-10 23:26:03

Tell us the jokes and we'll decide who was racist.

Folicacid Wed 01-Dec-10 23:26:30

I have actually googled pakistan world cup joke and found one. I don't get it though.

scurryfunge Wed 01-Dec-10 23:27:44

Nah, don't repeat the joke if it could be racist. Just bullet point the story in short sentences grin

SandStorm Wed 01-Dec-10 23:29:03

It's very late, I've had a glass of wine and I'm now very confused.

AgentZigzag Wed 01-Dec-10 23:29:24

I think I get what you're saying OP, and from what you've said she was just shooting a warning shot across the bows of her DH that what he was saying could be construed as being racist.

I don't think she was aiming it at you, or she would have been more challenging about it.

LoopyLoops Wed 01-Dec-10 23:30:09

You might want to revise your posting style too. This would have sufficed:

Went round to my neighbours' the other day, they were talking about Pakistan playing the cricket. I made a joke, he made a joke, she told him off for being racist. I think she might have aimed the telling off at me. What do you think?

MIFLAW Wed 01-Dec-10 23:30:31

Is the joke anything to do with corners and shops?

If it is then of COURSE it's bloody racist!

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