To rehomed our dog?(117 Posts)
YABU you should have it for christmas dinner instead.
Some friends of mine had a doberman when their babies came along. Their DS used to crawl into the dog basket with him and go to sleep. Not all dogs eat babies, I'd give her a chance before you write her off.
Tough one. I think YANBU but it will be very hard for your family. Get on to a doberman rescue charity for advice on re-homing?
Please dont get your dog re homed.
You will be surprised how well your dog will get on with a baby.
We have a 4 year old lab, but was 1 when we had dd. We made sure that neither were in the same room together on their own, so always carrid dd around in her moses basket.
Never had any problems and they are the best oof friends
Good idea from MrsNonSmoker. I love Doberman's, they are IME bonkers but lovely.
Just give it a go? You might suprise yourself. As to leaving your dog with the baby - could you lock the dog in the kitchen whilst you answer the door or whatever? Obviously not for long, just for the odd minute here and there. Maybe try getting her used to it now.
I think that you should contact an organisation that deals with dogs - training etc and get their advice on how to train your dog to accept the baby as above them in the pack.
I am not a dog expert, but I think I read somewhere that the biggest danger to a baby/child from a pet dog (apart from you letting the child pull at or hit the dog, making the dog bite of course) is if the dog thinks they are above the child in the pack (your family) or thinks they have a chance of getting higher. So it's how to keep your dog at the bottom of the pack.
I think. Like I say, I'm not a dog person. There is a poster, Val something? who knows everything there is to know about dogs. Hope s/he sees this thread.
YAB hugely U. How horrible to just get rid of your dog because she is no longer convenient to have around. Why the fuck did you get a dog in the first place if you weren't prepared to give her a home for life?
Sounds like you have made your mind up already.
You are not giving the dog a chance imo.
YANBU - as you say, circs have changed and you clearly would feel uncomfortable having a big, boisterous dog around a new baby. Surely your DP would be able to see your pov? It's very unfortunate, but I don't see any other way.
Hecate is right, even not being a dog person. I think professional advice is called for here particularly because of your previous experience.
A good question Callisto. Somewhat blunt though
It's important when considering getting a dog to think about your future as a family - dogs live for what? 12 years? so if having children in the next decade is a possibility, you do need to think carefully about how you'd feel with children + dog.
But. Bit late now Doubt OP has a time machine so what's done is done.
You are over thinking it and the poor dog is already on her second home and won't be that easy to rehome and may end up spending a long time in a kennel.
Keep her and move your bin like I have to out of the way, dogs are scavengers and will get any food if given the chance. We keep our bin under the stairs cupboard in our kitchen.
I am not sure I get the "a chance" bit.
Don't the owners of dogs that do attack children all say that the dog has never ever done anything like that before?
This is a real toughie. If you have a child already then you know you can never leave it with the dog - ever. I have the softest gentlest dog in the world and she was never with the babies and now only ever alone with the children for a split second and never when there is food. Just use childgates judiciously to separate child/baby and dog when you need to. I usually take the dog with me when the children are babies and being left to sleep. My house is a nightmare to sort these logistics out but we managed.
Most dogs adapt to babies really well and you should give them a chance (Hecate's advice is good, however if there is any worry once the baby is there - rehome the dog straight away (my parents gave a dog one more chance - it failed and had to be put down - broke their hearts.
We were really worried about having our dog when we were discovered we are expecting our dd. As I have already said, we have a labrador who was only 1 himself, so still very much a puppy, but he was highly strung and we had to get a dog behaviour therapist involved as well as puppy training, which was a complete waste of time. (the puppy training i mean)
One thing we got, and I would highly reccomend to anyone with a dog and is pregnant with their first, was get a "sounds soothing" cd from www.soundtherapy4pets.com which has the sound of a baby crying at different decibels, to help the dog get used to the sound.
Our dog still goes beserk when the door bell goes, but he is protecting his territory. Locking your dog up in the kitchen whilst answering the door will not help.
IMO you should get the cd and follow the instructions, KEEP your dog and not wory unnecessarily
OP is getting rid of a dog that has behaved well,just in case it doesn't get on with her baby when it's born.
You shouldn't of got the dog if you were that fearful of the 'what ifs' as no dog can be trusted 100%.
You could seek out a dog trainer and deal with your fears before you have your child.
Also, we never allow the dog upstairs. Started off by using a stairgate (pre baby) and he learned that upstairs is out of bound.
Tough call - I would never be comfortable leaving both alone together and be on edge when they were together even if supervised as there are so many seemingly unprompted/unexpalined dog attacks (how many times does a relative say 'oh we thought he was a bit funny with children?) - so it depends whether you would feel the same and be able to cope with the added pressure. Tough call - I would err on the side of caution personally but there will be lots of people who post that YABU and there is no risk/they feel it is a risk worth taking. The idea of contacting a professional organisation is a good one.
Get yourself over to The Doghouse section and get some good advice/reality check/flaming from people who work in rescue centres for advice about rehoming/life with rescue dogs etc.
One thing I;m confused about... if you have a small DC, who has already been bitten by the same breed, but your dog has a lovely temperament... then surely your current DC can see that your dog wont' necessarily attack just because he looks like the other dog that did.. so why can't you see the same?
Regarding chasing small 'prey' and eating things you don't want her to, have you done any training?
I think you should give it a bit more consideration before you rehome her - after all, the baby stage is so brief and the dog obviously gets on fine with your other kids, and tbh she sounds like a real find as far as big dogs go, she sounds lovely.
My son is now 17mo old and we have a lab who is 7(ish - he was a rescue) who is a handful to say the least, but my son loves him and the dog is very good with him. Yes, I do have to watch them all the time, and it is difficult at times (but I am used to that as the dog has always been a challenge - unlike yours which sounds great), but the benefit we all get from having the dog outweighs this.
BUT if you do decide that you really don't want to deal with the extra stress of looking after the dog, and that this would be the best thing for your family and for the dog itself then you're doing the right thing by considering rehoming.
I just think that on the strength of what you've told us, it would be a shame, and you might regret it in the long run.
Depends on the breed ( dobermans are good family dogs generally) and dogs temp/nature. Is your dog obedient & well socialised, that's the big thing. We have a biggish dog, similar breed & I worried & worried but all for no reason... dog gets on very well with baby ( 9 months), is very gentle, protective. You need to make sure dog knows baby is no.1, dog no.2 just like now you and DP are people, dog is no.2. So just re-enforce manners now. Does he pull on lead? That's now not allowed. Does he wait patiently when getting food? Sit when commanded etc? if not practice that now. He's not too old to learn. It reinforces his position in pack i.e. all humans 1st, doggie 2nd
You are right about not leaving them alone though, you do have to keep an eye out but actually that's not a big deal once you get used to the idea. In fact in the 1st 6/8 weeks you carry baby around all time pretty much when he's not sleeping. We put a stairgate on baby's room straightway - no unaccompanied doggie visits there. And as baby napped from day 1 in his cot when it came to putting him to sleep at night in his own room he did it without a complaint. You could put one up now where doggie won't be allowed so he doesn't associate new baby with restrictions. Stairs? A certain room?One baby's mobile you will have gates everywhere so just get used to it now, it's not forever. DP also brought back a blankie from hosp so babys smell was familiar when we got back And here's the big plus - the dog gets you out of the house and to the park every day, from day one. In hindsight this is probably what keep me sane in the 1st few months! Plus baby got fresh air whatever the weather/hassle. It's also good for your baby's immune system to have a dog in the hse. And baby gets used to animals.
Yes it's more of a hassle so it's all about how much you love your dog but ours is still a fantastic part of our new family. And if your doggie shows any jealously/aggression towards baby ( after you've already tried to introduce them etc) he needs a new home.
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