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to be gobsmacked that some people think of family time as something bad?

(16 Posts)
emkana Tue 30-Nov-10 22:17:14

Following on from the cricket thread, sorry.

I'm really astonished at the comments a la "the idea of family time makes my teeth itch"

Why? And does that mean you don't actually spend time together as a family, just individuals and subgroups doing their own thing all the time?

For me days out together are the best thing about the whole having children malarkey!

Frazzledmumwithsmudgedmascara Tue 30-Nov-10 22:18:27

YANBU, I love family time

Pinkieminx Tue 30-Nov-10 22:21:14

Days out together are great but if you can't think of anything to do it can be a bit forced. As someone who's never 'done' activities pre-DC I sometimes feel at a loss of what to do for 'family time', so it can be daunting.

What do people do all day together!?! Especially in bad weather - am truly baffled!?!

maktaitai Tue 30-Nov-10 22:23:19

Hmm, I think it's a terminology thing. If dh or I or ds have plans to do something - go swimming all together, make some popcorn and watch a movie, go and fly a kite, put something in or take something out of the attic etc, then great, and doing it together is fantastic. However, I associate the general phrase 'family time' with vague hanging about, feeling crappy because we've not had enough exercise, and us all disagreeing about what to do, until it's too late to do anything. Arrgh, now I feel trapped and it's not even happening!

SparkleSoiree Tue 30-Nov-10 22:24:01

I love hanging out with the family doing whatever - we don't get to do it regularly due to DH's job but when the time does come round we really value it!

ShanahansRevenge Tue 30-Nov-10 22:25:27

I think it's more to do with the connotations of the phrase rather than a hatred of being with your family.

"Family time!" to some it conjurs up images of a 1950s grinning family...it seems twee...and it's also unecassary to name it...it's what families do...spend time together. Why give it a catchy title?

Playdate
Family Time
Quality Time
Me Time

The all make my teeth itch but I love what they stand for.

Goingspare Tue 30-Nov-10 22:25:56

Can you link to the thread? Is it that people don't like the idea of something scheduled or contrived? We like spending time together, but we don't have a name for it.

PonceyMcPonce Tue 30-Nov-10 22:26:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShanahansRevenge Tue 30-Nov-10 22:28:14

We just say "Shal we go for a walk in the park?" or "What about that new restaurant for lunch?"

We don't name it.

TottWriter Tue 30-Nov-10 22:29:14

I dreaded "family time" with my mum, because it generally meant tidying the house from top to bottom, listening to her talking at us while she planed the landscaping, or sitting and watching some godawful film on a complusory basis because she had bought it as a family film.

Family time with my Dad, and now with DP and the DC on the other hand, loverly.

maktaitai Tue 30-Nov-10 22:34:36

Ah, tottwriter, what did your Dad do? I could do with help in this area, I think I am naturally more like your Mum sad

Hulababy Tue 30-Nov-10 22:38:31

Is it just the name?

We don;t have anything called family time. But we do spend mst weekends together as a family just doing every day type stuff - meals out, walks, trip to park, shops, museum, whatever really.

MrManager Wed 01-Dec-10 00:03:45

Families are made up of individuals, and it is unrealistic to expect an individual make a complete sacrifice of all their time and hobbies to pursue forced 'family time'.

Sure, make some compromises and concessions, and let real 'family time' come out of that.

Don't pretend that artificially forcing an hour every Tuesday playing Scrabble makes the Smiths a better family than the Jones, who are happy to give each other their own space.

Kaloki Wed 01-Dec-10 00:15:49

Because sometimes it is?

Also, IME, as soon as someone dad says "family time", it seems to involve sitting around awkwardly making small talk and each desperately trying to think of excuses to leave. So it sends shivers down my spine whenever I hear it. Love spending time with my family though, just hate "family time"; there really is a massive distinction. More so, when family means everyone, because then you have to deal with the fuckwits that normally none of you would want to be in the same town as, but because somewhere along the line they share genes with one of you they have to be there.

gingerwig Wed 01-Dec-10 00:27:20

It's the terminology. Makes it sound scheduled/compulsory/forced
WHich on the cricket thread it was smile

Maria2007loveshersleep Thu 02-Dec-10 22:04:46

Well yes of course it's the terminology that grates on nerves, not the thing itself. As Shanahanrevenge said, 'me time', 'family time' etc, all excruciating as terms to be used without irony.

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