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to think that mums of toddlers should get "terrible 2s training"

(24 Posts)
sunshineriver Tue 30-Nov-10 18:57:18

My son is 3 and I just find it so hard to cope with him sometimes - I just wish that I had someone to tell me what to do with him!

The other day when shopping, he ran away 3 times and came back telling me that it was funny. It was not and I wanted to cry.

I really do think that when our children get to a certain age, they should give us some helpful advice - similar to a handbook grin

I know that it is because he is tired, and I also know that it is my own fault for not going up home and getting his pushchair - though when he's refusing to walk and I do not have spare hands to carry him, it is very difficult to keep that in mind!

MadamDeathstare Tue 30-Nov-10 19:00:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare Tue 30-Nov-10 19:01:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

happycamel Tue 30-Nov-10 19:08:05

Can you ask your health visitor? Is there an NCT group you can join? Have you tried asking mums at any playgroups you use? I guess everyone has different ways of dealing with it but there probably is support out there (even parenting classes) if you do some research.

When I was 3 I was either in a pushchair or on reins when I was out. When we babysit a friend's 3 year old she has a little rucksack to wear which is attached to a strap that velcros round my wrist so she can't wander far. If it is to do with tiredness though maybe a bit more planning about when trips out are and how long they last.

Having said all that I'm 22 weeks pregnant with DC1 so in no position to preach - I'm just trying to be helpful.

sunshineriver Tue 30-Nov-10 19:08:12

Boy am I looking forward to bedtime and disappearing into the world of Sherlock Holmes with my book and escape the realism of rearing a child!

I really do wish that we, (especially myself) got more support and advice about the whole thing.

How do you keep sane?

loler Tue 30-Nov-10 19:12:49

can't help either - I'm on dc3 (keep trying to get a good one and failing around age 3).

My really really ill ds2 climbed under the GPs desk today - put his wellies on his hands and refused to come out! Don't you just love 3 year olds (well it was quite funny but GP didn't see the funny side and I think we made the clinic run later that it already was!).

singalongamumum Tue 30-Nov-10 19:13:32

Hi sunshine- I know, I know! My boy is 3 too and it can be bloody hard work! The other day I had to carry him, his bike and push the buggy with DD in it, all the way home. I just couldn't cope with anymore negotiating and/or ignoring inappropriate behaviour and just wanted to be at home. My arms were killing me when I get home but it was worth it!

The way I stay sane (mostly) is to tell myself it is not my temper/ bad behaviour etc and I make myself smile and laugh about even when I don't feel like it. I guess it's just a way of separating myself off from the situation and behaviour so that when it is over- and it suddenly ends, as you know- I can forget about it just as quickly as my small boy and am not left feeling wound up for the rest of the day. Hope that makes sense!

sunshineriver Tue 30-Nov-10 19:13:34

Ah, HC, don't let me put you off, when he is good, he is very very good, but he can just be so naughty when he's tired.

I do need to plan my day better, you're right - perhaps better personal organisation and allowing less opportunity for me pushing him when he is tired is the key.

I don't really like asking my HV as the way that she talks to me makes me feel weird as she's telling me what to do with my son without really knowing either of us very well. I've got a friend that I'm going to catch up with and ask her advice about a few things, as she seems to be a supermum and always seems to have her 3 in good order!

BornToFolk Tue 30-Nov-10 19:13:44

I have a 3 year old so I know what you mean! He was a pretty easy going 2 year old but is starting to develop some threenager tendancies (like sulking but actually I quite like that as he leaves me alone and is quiet! grin)

Mumsnet is my main source of support and advice (I'm not arse-licking, it really is!) Just reading other people's posts helps me realise that a) there's no such thing as a perfect parent b) kids are all different and c) but they are all really weird sometimes.

MadamDeathstare Tue 30-Nov-10 19:15:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snowplough Tue 30-Nov-10 19:49:05

i found toddler training a brilliant handbook when my DC were toddlers

MamaVoo Tue 30-Nov-10 19:59:12

YANBU. Either give us training in how to deal with the little tyrants or let us handcuff them to their pushchairs without social services getting involved grin

toddlerwrangler Tue 30-Nov-10 20:05:49

Toddler training should be a mandatory requirement for all mums to be.

When I was pregnant, I thought about all the cute outfits. Long summer walks with a deluxe ten zillion pound pram. Corodinating cushions for the nursery. How long it would be before I could fit in my jeans. The important stuff basically.

I did not for one second think about what would happen when Alfir developed his own opinion. I mean, its obvious, good parents have good children and bad parents have, well, bad ones.

HA, HAHHHHAHHHHHHHAAAA Fucking HA. How much of a stupid twat was I? The other week I was bitten, pinched, punched, slapped, kicked, cried at, screamed at and generally hated between the hours of 7am and 7pm. I love him, I really do - one checky grin and he has made my day, but NOONE preapares you for toddlerdom!

NormalityBites Tue 30-Nov-10 20:12:33

Yep 3 year olds are horrible creatures grinEspecially tired ones! I found keeping a sling in my handbag very useful at that age for when they are cranky tired and prone to running off.

purplefeet Tue 30-Nov-10 20:13:16

Thank you toddlerwrangler. Last week I got punched and kicked by DS age nearly 3. Showed a woman at work the bruises - she has grown up DC. She gave me a filthy look which screamed "you're a crap mother" and then told me to get DS referred to a child psychologist!

Nice to know I'm not the only one who gets beaten up. (I bruise very very easily)

It is really hard having a toddler. I've got the Mumsnet guide to toddlers book, which is really helpful.

blackeyedsusan Tue 30-Nov-10 20:20:31

hey purple, do you want to see the toothmarks on my arm?

toddlerwrangler Tue 30-Nov-10 20:20:49

The mumsnet toddler guide is why I joined here!

Ignore silly interefring people. They are at an age where they get VERY frustrated VERY easily as far as I'm concerned. I think they are lashing out, rather then choosing to hit (if that makes sence).

LaWeaselMys Tue 30-Nov-10 20:26:06

I have decided to never ever leave the house without the pushchair again, after spending an hour getting not yet 2 yo DD to either be carried or walk in the right fucking direction back to our house. It is literally a 3 min walk at most.

Reins made everything so much worse (I want to murder people who suggest reins are a magic cure all. Not if they have a tantrum as soon as you put them on!!)

I nearly cried.

And I'm still never going out without the pushchair again.

TrinityMotherOfRhinos Tue 30-Nov-10 20:28:28

stick him in a pushchair

if he isn't mature enpugh to behave then he is in a pushchair

toddlerwrangler Tue 30-Nov-10 20:32:09

LaWeasel - may I join you in your pushchair plan? When he is 21 and can shop for, feed and clothe himself, he can do what he wants.

'Till that point I am embrasing the opportunity to strap him to something mobile so I can get to the shops (also about 3 mins away) and buy him some food, which he will no doubt turn his nose up and lob joyfully at my head!

I tied a 'little walk into the village' experiemnt a few weeks back. It was HORIFFIC. I am talking all out kicking and screaming in the postoffice cue (I couldnt just lave has had to get ebay stuff out).

I must say, changing is reins to the backpack style rather then old fashioned kind HAS helped - less to constrict him so less for him to want to fight!

SpotSplatterSplash Tue 30-Nov-10 20:51:26

My gosh three is very bad atm. I thought it got better after two, but how wrong I was.

SylvanianFamily Tue 30-Nov-10 20:59:01

My maclaren now auto-folds onto ds2 when we go down kerbs; the frame entirely bent out of shape by grumpy lump ds1 being put on the back of it whenever we reached stalemate about basic requirements such as walking.

Ages 2 and 3 were awful, but - honestly - I'm just loving 4 at the moment. School has entirely removed the middle child chip off his shoulder.

toddlerwrangler Tue 30-Nov-10 21:01:27

But, but, but - he is 20 months. How am I supposed to survive (in one piece) 'till 4??!!

SylvanianFamily Tue 30-Nov-10 21:17:13

Don't live in a terrace next door to grumpy git bachelor.

DOn't have expectations higher than getting through the day.

Do give him control whenever reasonable (I.e routine, binary choices, puck your battles)

Do develop a thick skin and a strong carrying arm.

At its worst, I would bear hug him from behind and just lie with him on the sofa until he'd screamed out, just to prevent him damaging people and property around him.

What I've found as he's grown is that he is a very upstanding character. It is very important for him that things are done right. I'll hear him coaching his little brother on how to do 'good 'haviour' - it's cute. I think that this is why he found 3' s so frustrating - things not going how he envisaged.

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