to think that for many people the big decisions they make are not rational choices made after much deliberation?

[Ormirian]

They make the choices that circumstances dictate. Or even, god forbid, don't think about it very much at all.

For example, in my case, working when my babies were small. I didn't think about it and make the best decision that I could, taking into account every aspect of the situation and everyone's opinion. I just assumed that I would go back to work. Never even questioned it. Finances dictated and nothing much else got a look in.

Aren't most people like this? Or do they all buy the equivalent of Which magazine about every decision they make?

[silverfrog]

hmmm, well obviously circumstances do dictate a probable couse of action sometimes.

but I still examine it from every angle possible, thinking and re-thinking it all, and trying to see whether there is another solution.

and sometimes that means that the probable course dictated by circumstance gets amended, and sometimes it doesn't.

but then I am prone to over-analysing anyway

[Ormirian]

Oh so do I silverfrog - I can think around problems from every angle. Can drive myself mad thinking about them. But it seems to me that most of the big decisions (working, schools etc) have been simple ones.

[NinkyNonker]

Dh always says we make the best decision we can based on the information available to us at the time. Hindsight is a bitch. I do tend to over analyse everything, he's a rational force though!

[silverfrog]

yep, agree I usually drive myself to distraction thinking around stuff.

also agree that with the big stuff, you tend to "know" what is the rigth solution. or when it is the time to act. eg dd1 was in a hopeless pre-school (she has ASD) and there were a lot of things we let slide. bUt when it came to it, and we acted, we knew exactly what we would do, and how. there was no analysing at that point - it was the course of action we were going to take, even though we had never really thought through what we would do, iyswim? we just plodded through it, and came out of the other end.

[LoveMyGirls]

I always over think stuff, yet still circumstances have kind of made my choices for me.
Ninky - my mum says that too and it does help me to think ok that's the best I can do right now.

I like to have a plan of up to 5 years, it's a flexiable plan with rough goals, drives dh batty!

[Itsjustafleshwound]

I think you are right - I make decisions based on what is the best/ least unfavourable choice. My mum always says to draw up a list of pros and cons - but really 6 cons and 3 pros doesn't make me want to do it, if the one pro is what I really want.

My husband's dithering drives me mad!! Often, I think it is better to make a choice (even if it is a bad one) than having a decision thrust upon you. Over thinking and analysing just muddies the water and makes it harder!

The biggest thing I ever bought (and the most expensive!!) was our house - and we spent a massive 30 minutes looking around!

[Ormirian]

"The biggest thing I ever bought (and the most expensive!!) was our house - and we spent a massive 30 minutes looking around!"

Snap! If it's right it's right. And it is