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to want to kill my DH

(175 Posts)
kittycat37 Mon 29-Nov-10 21:11:41

I am angry angry angry

Today I used DH's car.

I was pulled over by the police and told that the car had showed up as uninsured.

Totally shock I stammered that it definitely was insured, must be some mistake etc etc

No, it WASN'T FUCKING INSURED. DH had cancelled premium 10 days ago, was wanting to find a better deal, did not tell me, FUCKING FORGOT

The car was seized, I was issued with 6 points - MY LICENSE HAS ALWAYS BEEN CLEAN FOR THE LAST 12 YEARS SINCE I BEGAN DRIVING. We have a whopping fine we can't afford.

Worst of all I'm devasted that this might come up in future job interviews and affect my chances. Let alone the horrific thought of what might have happened had there been an accident.

He's at work now. Keeps texting 'sorry'.

I don't think I can forgive him. I'm absolutely completely furious. Dont' tell me IABU because I know I'm not. I wish I'd never married him. TWAT.

macdoodle Mon 29-Nov-10 21:13:38

Why did they pull you over??

borderslass Mon 29-Nov-10 21:13:54

bloody hell that's bad you never cancel insurance without getting a new policy first. YADNBU

Fernie3 Mon 29-Nov-10 21:15:09

Yanbu he was being very irresponsible and sounds like he knows it. It may take more than a text to make this up !

MmeLindt Mon 29-Nov-10 21:15:12

YANBU to be incredibly angry with him.

Is this common for him? This kind of behaviour?

kittycat37 Mon 29-Nov-10 21:15:31

They pulled me over because they had a ma chine in their car that can tell immediately if the car is uninsured on the national data base

borderslass Mon 29-Nov-10 21:15:49

macdoodle most police cars have onboard computers linked to the database that flash up uninsured or untaxed cars.

kittycat37 Mon 29-Nov-10 21:17:00

MmeLindt - I've been with him 12yrs - he's always been disorganised but never this bad.

He's under a lot of strain. But still I don't understand it. IDIOT.

FunkySnowSkeleton Mon 29-Nov-10 21:18:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Madinitials Mon 29-Nov-10 21:18:33

YANBU. I would be so cross about the points, make him pay the increase in premiums when he finally gets the car back and insures it.

Hassledge Mon 29-Nov-10 21:18:42

Blimey. That's so bloody insane of him I don't know what to say. I'm clutching at straws by wondering if he has a lot on his mind and that's why he forgot but actually, tough if he did - some things you just don't forget.

Hassledge Mon 29-Nov-10 21:19:58

I don't think driving offences are notifiable though - as in you don't have to declare them on a CRB or whatever. But driving without insurance might be different.

MmeLindt Mon 29-Nov-10 21:21:53

The car is registered to him though? Can you somehow get the points transfered to his licence, since he is the one responsible for it?

No idea if it works this way in UK, that is what you can do in Germany.

kittycat37 Mon 29-Nov-10 21:24:46

I'm actually worried he's got some sort of mental problem - he's so dithery and not on the planet sometimes. He works insane hours. He's a lovely Dad. He's a lovely bloke. But I don't think he realises how serious this is.

I don't know how to handle it. He just phoned in his break to try and make ammends and I told him that I'm not at all happy and that I'm very angry.

Hassledge - I always have to have enhanced CRB checks for teaching and I don't know either if it would show up but if it does it could be terrible. It could be seen as showing a complete lack of integrity/responsiblity etc

altinkum Mon 29-Nov-10 21:25:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kittycat37 Mon 29-Nov-10 21:26:45

No Mme Lindt - the policeman was sympathetic that it wasn't actually my fault but the way it works here is that you're guilty because if you're driving the onus is on you to know you're insured.

Of course I thought I was because it didn't occur to me that idiot DH would randomly cancel the insurance and not tell me.

kittycat37 Mon 29-Nov-10 21:29:53

x post altinkum

silverfrog Mon 29-Nov-10 21:30:24

altinkum, that's a bit harsh.

both our cars are in dh's name, with me as a named driver on the insurance.

if he took it inot his head to do something as insane as the OP's dh did, and cancel the policy, I owuld have no idea.

I know what insurance company we use, ans I know when it renews. I know hte premium amounts etc, but i would not know this if dh did not tell me, so i owuld end up in the same position as OP.

OP: no YADNBU. he'd better come up with somehting a LOT better than just "sorry". do you reall yhtink he may have mental health issues?

kittycat37 Mon 29-Nov-10 21:31:14

Fuck it, I don't know why I'm making excuses for him re the working long hours etc I guess I just don't want to think I'm married to a total moron.

Which is actually how he's behaved.

MmeLindt Mon 29-Nov-10 21:31:16

That is a shame, Kitty. Of course it is not unreasonable for you to assume that the car was insured. What an idiot your DH is.

altinkum Mon 29-Nov-10 21:32:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MonkeySee Mon 29-Nov-10 21:32:16

I don't check with my dh every time I get in our car.

"Now, is this car insured? Are you sure? i know you said it was yesterday but in the mean time have you randomly cancelled it?"

I can't believe that you do either altinkum. In circs op has outlined it is clearly her dh's fault, not hers.

kittycat37 Mon 29-Nov-10 21:33:38

silverfrog - I don't know. I'm so cross I'm not thinking straight.

But it's certainly odd behaviour.

Also recently he was really really tearful when we had an argument about something which shocked me a bit.

Also he look's terrible at the moment. Totally grey and exhausted.

Hassledge Mon 29-Nov-10 21:33:53

kitty - if you google "list of notifiable offences" there's a spreadsheet you can open. Go to "find" (over on top right) and you can search for insurance - it does come up. You need cod or someone.

altinkum Mon 29-Nov-10 21:34:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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