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AIBU?

AIBU in thinking this article is totally crazy?

49 replies

Greythorne · 29/11/2010 13:36

Here's an extract from an article which is published in the PTA magazine which comes from school:

"Should I allow my 10 year old daughter come with me to a scan (I am pregnant with my second child)?

I am pregnant and my oldest daughter is delighted. She would like to come with me when I have my scan. I am hesitating...

ANSWER: You are right to hesitate. And you should refuse to allow her to acompany you. Some parents do agree, and their desire to share this type of life-changing experience is understandable. But they are forgetting that a scan is not place for a child: it is the couple's business. The foetus which is in the mother's stomach [sic] is too intimately related to sex for brothers and sisters to be present at the scan. Even bigger children should not get mixed up in the sexuality of the couple. A little boy will feel that he is his father's equal, especially if he is still in the Oedipal phase. A little girl could feel like she has to take on the maternal role, and could feel responsable for the baby in the future."

I think there are very good reasons NOT to take older kids to a scan (because a scan is first and foremost to bring abnormalities to light, and if that sadly happens, older childen's presence is not desirable) but the reasons outlined here strike me as utterly bonkers.

But I am prepared to be put straight by the MN jury.

FI, we are abroad and the above is a back of the fag packet translation. I live in a country where I feel like I am constantly swimming upstream against mainstream thought because I am forrin. But maybe I read too much into my forrin-ness and all this stuff is completely normal. If so, please do tell me.

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sethstarkaddersmum · 29/11/2010 13:38

no, still taking Freudian claptrap that seriously is not totally normal.

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FindingMyMojo · 29/11/2010 13:38

seems a little bonkers to me - where are you?

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Goingspare · 29/11/2010 13:39

No, don't worry, that really is barking.

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DuelingFanio · 29/11/2010 13:40

Agree with you that the resons cited are rubbish and also that the risk of there being something wrong with the foetus is a better reason for not taking children to a scan.

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LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake · 29/11/2010 13:40

I too think it is a bonkers Hmm answer. I think the person who answered it went a bit far into thinking about the psychology of it.

It would only occur to me what you said - that it is inappropriate for them to be there as it could be bad news.

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winnybella · 29/11/2010 13:40

YANBU.
Totally bonkers.
Where are you? Can you just specify the continent, if you don't want to name the country?

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IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat · 29/11/2010 13:43

Hahahaha!

That is utterly, utterly insane.

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TheCrackFox · 29/11/2010 13:44

That is the oddest thing I have ever heard.

I agree that a scan might not be the best place for a 10 year old but only because there might not be good news.

Weird.

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SummerRain · 29/11/2010 13:44

Good lord!

I totally agree with you, the only reason not to bring an older child is the risk of there being bad news but even then the sonographer will ask the child to wait outside while she talks to the mother and the child will most likely find out eventually so i'm not convinced it's a black and white issue, it's personal choice.

YANBU... the reasons given there are frankly disturbing!

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Greythorne · 29/11/2010 13:45

I am in France, which is (with Argentine) one of the only countries where Freudian analysis is still very very mainstream.

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Kaloki · 29/11/2010 13:45

That's just odd. YANBU at all!

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LoopyLoops · 29/11/2010 13:46

What country, Greythorne?

I agree, it is bonkers. Agree with your reasons not to take them to scan, just not the Freudian rubbish.

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StealthPolarBear · 29/11/2010 13:47

totally agree with you - scan not a day out but nothing to do with sex as such - after all I sent DH's grandmas a scan picture each :o

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Greythorne · 29/11/2010 13:47

Hmmm, i meant Argentina, of course.

I have no idea why France still goes along with the Freudian shit stuff. But they do!

Our paediatrician told a friend that the reason her toddler son was playing up after the birth of the new baby was that "he was in the Oedipal phase and he is jealous of the bodily contact you have with the baby by breastfeeding the new baby."

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narkypuffin · 29/11/2010 13:48

Ah France. They have a fondness for suppositories which is rather Freudian.

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Greythorne · 29/11/2010 13:50

narkypuffin
yes, but I have gone native :) re suppositories! For the DC, I might add, not for me. So practical and ultra efficient delivery of the drug into the bloodtream, donchaknow?

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Unrulysun · 29/11/2010 13:51

And annecdotally an antipathy to breastfeeding which may or may not be Freudian but is still bloody weird.

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Greythorne · 29/11/2010 13:53

unrulysun
yes, i agree, but that is a whole other thread, one which I am happy to start, because I could write a novella with the number of bonkers comments I have had about breastfeeding here.

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tinky19 · 29/11/2010 13:53

YANBU. Bonkers!

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narkypuffin · 29/11/2010 13:54

Maybe the reasonings's not so important then as long as they end up in the right place so to speak.

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theevildead2 · 29/11/2010 13:56

Bonkers, although agree children should not be at the scan (because of bad news and also because the scan shoudl be doing their very important job, and not distracted by a 10 year old)

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winnybella · 29/11/2010 13:59

Ah, France. Me too.

Hmm. Have to say I've never met with opinions like that before.

Suppositories are great Grin

I've never had any comments wrt breastfeeding, though, and I bf DD everywhere- in trains, in the park, in restaurants.

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KaraStarbuckThrace · 29/11/2010 14:01

it does sound utterly bonkers.

I have my scan on Thursday, fortunately DS will be at preschool that day, if we did have to take him then I would have the scan and once it has been established that everything is ok, DH and DS(2.11) would be able to come in.

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MadamDeathstare · 29/11/2010 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spaceman · 29/11/2010 14:04

How strange. That is truely off the planet. I think a 10 year old can be at the scan if they want. Your DD already knows that you are pregnant, so is already involved. It would be fascinating for them I should think.

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