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AIBU in thinking this article is totally crazy?

(50 Posts)
Greythorne Mon 29-Nov-10 13:36:17

Here's an extract from an article which is published in the PTA magazine which comes from school:

"Should I allow my 10 year old daughter come with me to a scan (I am pregnant with my second child)?

I am pregnant and my oldest daughter is delighted. She would like to come with me when I have my scan. I am hesitating...

ANSWER: You are right to hesitate. And you should refuse to allow her to acompany you. Some parents do agree, and their desire to share this type of life-changing experience is understandable. But they are forgetting that a scan is not place for a child: it is the couple's business. The foetus which is in the mother's stomach [sic] is too intimately related to sex for brothers and sisters to be present at the scan. Even bigger children should not get mixed up in the sexuality of the couple. A little boy will feel that he is his father's equal, especially if he is still in the Oedipal phase. A little girl could feel like she has to take on the maternal role, and could feel responsable for the baby in the future."

I think there are very good reasons NOT to take older kids to a scan (because a scan is first and foremost to bring abnormalities to light, and if that sadly happens, older childen's presence is not desirable) but the reasons outlined here strike me as utterly bonkers.

But I am prepared to be put straight by the MN jury.

FI, we are abroad and the above is a back of the fag packet translation. I live in a country where I feel like I am constantly swimming upstream against mainstream thought because I am forrin. But maybe I read too much into my forrin-ness and all this stuff is completely normal. If so, please do tell me.

sethstarkaddersmum Mon 29-Nov-10 13:38:06

no, still taking Freudian claptrap that seriously is not totally normal.
<awaits flaming from Freudians>

FindingMyMojo Mon 29-Nov-10 13:38:33

seems a little bonkers to me - where are you?

Goingspare Mon 29-Nov-10 13:39:14

No, don't worry, that really is barking.

DuelingFanio Mon 29-Nov-10 13:40:09

Agree with you that the resons cited are rubbish and also that the risk of there being something wrong with the foetus is a better reason for not taking children to a scan.

LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake Mon 29-Nov-10 13:40:18

I too think it is a bonkers hmm answer. I think the person who answered it went a bit far into thinking about the psychology of it.

It would only occur to me what you said - that it is inappropriate for them to be there as it could be bad news.

winnybella Mon 29-Nov-10 13:40:43

Totally bonkers.
Where are you? Can you just specify the continent, if you don't want to name the country?

IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat Mon 29-Nov-10 13:43:52


That is utterly, utterly insane.

TheCrackFox Mon 29-Nov-10 13:44:43

That is the oddest thing I have ever heard.

I agree that a scan might not be the best place for a 10 year old but only because there might not be good news.


SummerRain Mon 29-Nov-10 13:44:43

Good lord!

I totally agree with you, the only reason not to bring an older child is the risk of there being bad news but even then the sonographer will ask the child to wait outside while she talks to the mother and the child will most likely find out eventually so i'm not convinced it's a black and white issue, it's personal choice.

YANBU... the reasons given there are frankly disturbing!

Greythorne Mon 29-Nov-10 13:45:07

I am in France, which is (with Argentine) one of the only countries where Freudian analysis is still very very mainstream.

Kaloki Mon 29-Nov-10 13:45:49

That's just odd. YANBU at all!

LoopyLoops Mon 29-Nov-10 13:46:20

What country, Greythorne?

I agree, it is bonkers. Agree with your reasons not to take them to scan, just not the Freudian rubbish.

StealthPolarBear Mon 29-Nov-10 13:47:17

totally agree with you - scan not a day out but nothing to do with sex as such - after all I sent DH's grandmas a scan picture each

Greythorne Mon 29-Nov-10 13:47:18

Hmmm, i meant Argentina, of course.

I have no idea why France still goes along with the Freudian shit stuff. But they do!

Our paediatrician told a friend that the reason her toddler son was playing up after the birth of the new baby was that "he was in the Oedipal phase and he is jealous of the bodily contact you have with the baby by breastfeeding the new baby."

narkypuffin Mon 29-Nov-10 13:48:10

Ah France. They have a fondness for suppositories which is rather Freudian.

Greythorne Mon 29-Nov-10 13:50:09

yes, but I have gone native re suppositories! For the DC, I might add, not for me. So practical and ultra efficient delivery of the drug into the bloodtream, donchaknow?

Unrulysun Mon 29-Nov-10 13:51:22

And annecdotally an antipathy to breastfeeding which may or may not be Freudian but is still bloody weird.

Greythorne Mon 29-Nov-10 13:53:03

yes, i agree, but that is a whole other thread, one which I am happy to start, because I could write a novella with the number of bonkers comments I have had about breastfeeding here.

tinky19 Mon 29-Nov-10 13:53:48

YANBU. Bonkers!

narkypuffin Mon 29-Nov-10 13:54:56

Maybe the reasonings's not so important then as long as they end up in the right place so to speak.

theevildead2 Mon 29-Nov-10 13:56:24

Bonkers, although agree children should not be at the scan (because of bad news and also because the scan shoudl be doing their very important job, and not distracted by a 10 year old)

winnybella Mon 29-Nov-10 13:59:00

Ah, France. Me too.

Hmm. Have to say I've never met with opinions like that before.

Suppositories are great grin

I've never had any comments wrt breastfeeding, though, and I bf DD everywhere- in trains, in the park, in restaurants.

KaraStarbuckThrace Mon 29-Nov-10 14:01:47

it does sound utterly bonkers.

I have my scan on Thursday, fortunately DS will be at preschool that day, if we did have to take him then I would have the scan and once it has been established that everything is ok, DH and DS(2.11) would be able to come in.

MadamDeathstare Mon 29-Nov-10 14:02:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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