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To wish people who I thought were my friends would be happy for me

(7 Posts)
slipperandpjsmum Mon 29-Nov-10 13:06:18

I have been offered the opportunity to do a course at work which is necessary to progress to the next level in my job. Once I have this qualification under my belt I can apply for higher levels with the field.

I have worked soooo hard to get this chance, longer hours, worked weekends, missed my kids so much that it really hurts. I am the only person in our team who has children.

Once I told people, in a very low key way, although I did not expect champagne and banners I just got nothing, Oh right was about the best I got. Even my friends who I trained with who do not work in the same county let alone depts have not said, thats great well done.

It makes me feel really sad. If it were them (as it has been in the past) I have always been glad that their hard work has been rewarded and shown hown pleased I was. I feel like I have made mistakes with who I thought were friends.

I wonder why I feel so hurt by their reactions?

But Am I unreasonable to expect people who I thought were my friends to be pleased for me?

HecateQueenOfWitches Mon 29-Nov-10 13:07:27

not unreasonable at all.

I find that people want you to do well, just not too well. And certainly not better than them.

People are weird.

ChickensHaveNoMercyForTurkeys Mon 29-Nov-10 13:08:28

Do they understand what it means do you think? Sometimes my friends tell me somethin g about their work, and I tend to just look a bit clueless because I don't understand the significance, iyswim?

slipperandpjsmum Mon 29-Nov-10 13:12:21

I know what you mean but they understand as mostly we are in the same line of work. And those who are not know how hard and how long I have been fighting for this.

ChickensHaveNoMercyForTurkeys Mon 29-Nov-10 13:13:03

In that case, YANBU. They are being very mean spirited. Congratulations

highlighterpen Mon 29-Nov-10 13:14:24

I think you might be being a bit unreasonable, to be honest.

It's an opportunity to go on a course. It's great news, of course (congratulations by the way smile), but it really isn't all that exciting in the grand scheme of things, and certainly not to your friends.

I also agree with Chickens, your friends probably have no idea of the significance. Be pleased for yourself, they will 'get it' when you get the promotion or whatever.

BalloonSlayer Mon 29-Nov-10 13:14:26

sad for you, but might they think there is nothing yet to celebrate as you haven't actually done it yet?

I mean, if I said, say to my Mum: oh I am going to do a PGCE, and when I've finished it I shall be able to work as a teacher. She might well say "Oh aye?" and little else. But once I'd worked hard, done all the placements, passed the exams and got the qualification she'd be over the moon for me. Still more if I got a job teaching.

It's possible that these people don't know what an achievement it was to get selected for the course.

By the way - WELL DONE! Go girl!

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