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to not want in-laws to give Xmas presents on 19th Dec?

(87 Posts)
missworld2010 Sun 28-Nov-10 21:41:09

I can't believe how irritated I am by this, but obviously there's history of other things ;)

however, taken as this one situation at face value, do you think I am allowed to make it clear to my in-laws that I don't want them to hand over presents and let our girls open them when they come to visit BEFORE Christmas,on 19th Dec?

Part of the history is that since DD1 was born 5 years ago, we have taken it in turns to have either my parents or in-laws here to stay for Christmas itself (they both live far away), but somehow the in-laws have always managed to invite themselves to come on Boxing Day if it's not their turn. Which means we have a houseful, not enough room to move around, and the girls get all too stressed, and I get way too stressed etc. So I politely asked DH to politely ask them not to do that this time, thinking (but stupidly not making clear) that they would come around 29th or over New Year sort of time. So instead they picked to come beforehand, and I just have a sneaky suspicion that they will walk in and as a 'fait accompli' present (excuse the pun) the girls with their presents so it would seem unfair not to let them open them.

Surely Christmas is about waiting til the magic of Christmas Day?!!

Aaaaaaaaaaarggggggh. thanks, glad I got that out angry and blush

2shoesnightmarebeforechristmas Sun 28-Nov-10 21:43:56

you can't have it both ways

pleasechange Sun 28-Nov-10 21:44:22

I really do think you're ging ridiculous. For one I can't understand why or how a 5yo would find having family around at Christmas being stressful. I suspect you find it stressful and are projecting this. But quite apart from that I do think it's reasonable not to want everyone round at once. BUT then to not want them to bring presents round on the 19th Dec - why on earth not? Why should they wait until after Christmas - not fair at all

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree Sun 28-Nov-10 21:44:25

sorry I think YABU.....

pleasechange Sun 28-Nov-10 21:44:44

'being' ridiculous I should say!

Maylee Sun 28-Nov-10 21:44:54

Just tell your DC they'll have to wait until Christmas morning to open it. You can't really stop people (esp grandparents) from giving presents. But you can teach you children patience?

curlymama Sun 28-Nov-10 21:45:46

I totally understand why you are annoyed about your IL's coming early, but taking it on face value, as you said, YABU.

Christmas is about waiting for the day, but it's also about having a nice time with family, and if the dc's opening their presents early will achieve that, then that's what you should do. Surely the IL's will want to see their DGC open the presents they bought?

readywithwellies Sun 28-Nov-10 21:46:15

Part of the fun is seeing the dcs open the presents. YABU and sound like a princess.

fluffles Sun 28-Nov-10 21:46:30

no problem at all - just say to them, ok when you come you'll hide the presents in the car until it's safe then we'll sneak them into the loft wink then say, and we'll be sure to take lots of photos/video when they open them on xmas day to send to you grin

easy peasy.

stinkypants Sun 28-Nov-10 21:47:57

can you not ask them to change the day or is it too late now? hmm i can imagine they would love to see the gifts being opened, so they can share the magic of xmas too...tbh i dont think it matters if they open a few early - a week is a long time and they'll be just as excited on the actual day in any case. irritating i agree but not the end of the world?

pleasechange Sun 28-Nov-10 21:48:16

I imagine they'll have lots of other stuff to open on Christmas day. What is really the problem with opening one person's presents a week early?

jumpyjack Sun 28-Nov-10 21:48:17

YABU. This is effectively their Christmas with you. Why wouldn't that include the joy of seeing the children open the gifts they chose for them?

And I say this as someone with major inlaw issues. You're being unreasonable on thus one.

BelligerentGhoul Sun 28-Nov-10 21:48:45

YABU. Totally.

Your children are young - spreading their presents out over a week will be much better for them because then they will get chance to appreciate things, rather than being overwhelmed on Christmas Day.

This way - your in-laws will see the children open their gifts and your children will know who they came from.

cuppatino Sun 28-Nov-10 21:48:48

So you expect them to bring presents, but not enjoy the looks on their little faces when they open them? I've heard it all now.

3beagles Sun 28-Nov-10 21:48:56

YABU. Let them open the gifts given to them by their GPs, and let the GPs see them open their gifts. What is the worst that will happen?

SoupDragon Sun 28-Nov-10 21:49:02

FGS get over yourself and stop being ungrateful.

missworld2010 Sun 28-Nov-10 21:50:00

thanks all. Forgot to mention my youngest has autism so that's why she gets stressed (and therefore me). But you're right, I should be extra nice to my in-laws who are... oh no, just stopped myself from being bit rude there. As I said, there's history, no point going into that though.

lazylula Sun 28-Nov-10 21:50:06

YABU, does it really matter, after all you were happy for the children to wait until 4 days after Christmas, when the 'magic' would have past. My children always have presents from one lot of in laws on Christmas Eve, as I have 2 sets. Doesn't ruin the magic, just spreads the delight out over a few days.

onimolap Sun 28-Nov-10 21:51:19

I'd prefer the pressies to go under the tree, as Christmas presents belong on Christmas Day.

If that is how you want things to be, could DH make sure his parents understand it before they arrive? Perhaps he could negotiate some other treat they could bring for DCs to enjoy together with them when they visit?

sazlocks Sun 28-Nov-10 21:51:49

YABU in my opinion. FWIW in our house this year we are having 4 mini Christmas days and each set of parents (we have 3 sets) will get to see the children open their gifts. Much better than having a big scramble of stuff on Christmas day which they won't appreciate.

missworld2010 Sun 28-Nov-10 21:51:50

hey but you guys are good, which I'd done this years ago when I had a different 'difficult' decision to make!!!

seeker Sun 28-Nov-10 21:51:56

Why on earth shouldn't they open one lot of presents early?

You would have been happy with them opening them late - what's the issue with early?

Don't be a control freak. Either let them coem on Boxing Day - the children will only be stressed if you are, or let them have a mini Christmas early.

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree Sun 28-Nov-10 21:53:02

if present belong on Christmas day then surely the OP's idea of them coming closer to new year means the present were pointless.

A couple of presents in front of their GP's(?) isn't going to do any harm. And you'll make them all happy.

FranSanDisco Sun 28-Nov-10 21:53:23

YABU - does it matter if your dcs open their presents early?

Dexterrocks Sun 28-Nov-10 21:53:42

My dc's open their gifts from my MIL and SIL the weekend before Christmas every year. We go and visit them and dedicate one day to an early Christmas together as we cannot all be together on Christmas day.
I take the kids out for a walk or play in the park and when we return there are packages under the tree for the children.
That way my MIL and SIL get to see them open them and get to play with them with them.
It means the gifts are really appreciated and the kids fully take in who they are from. It also eases the mania of that last week before Christmas as once we get home they have new toys to play with.
Kids get plenty on Christmas day in general and opening one or two early, creating happy family time has become a lovely Christmas tradition for us.
We have a family Christmas dinner that day too and pull crackers, wear the paper hats etc.
In many ways we love it more than Christmas as the pressure to make it perfect isn't there and for that reason it generally is about as perfect as any of these events ever are.

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