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Was I U to cancel visit to parents?

(10 Posts)
mollycuddles Sun 28-Nov-10 20:34:38

Feeling a bit guilty. Had a rubbish week. Have 3 dcs - youngest is 6 months and started baby led weaning last weekend. She now only bf at night every 3 hours which is an improvement but I am knackered. I'm back at work fulltime and expressing at home and work to keep her on just breast milk. Although it's insane the fact that she now gets some of her nutrition not from me has upset me. Dh looks after dd2 and that's great for them both. The other two are at school. This week ds has had a vomiting bug and dd1 a urinary infection. Dh has diabetes and it's completely out of control and he may need to go onto insulin this week. He's absolutely exhausted and looks and feels rubbish and apart from looking after the dcs and doing the school run he is struggling to cope with the house. He is possibly going to take on a part time job soon but only if his health allows. My df has had a lot of health problems in recent years - all heart related and leans on me a lot. He'd been doing great but fell off his bike this week so couldn't come to visit this weekend as planned. We were going to go to them instead but with the blooming snow and everything else I just couldn't face it.
How unreasonable was this?

FetchezLaVache Sun 28-Nov-10 20:36:22

I'd say not very at all. You say parents, plural- your dad has your mum to help him, right?

LoopyLoops Sun 28-Nov-10 20:37:05

Not at all, give yourself a break.

onepieceoflollipop Sun 28-Nov-10 20:39:46

I imagine your df or both of your parents have been putting pressure on you and/or you are worried about him?

You need to spend weekends resting and recuperating from the working week, and even more so if you or any of the family are unwell. If you don't you will become ill with stress and possibly physically unwell.

Hope you get more sleep soon. Look after yourself as best you can, e.g. eat well, drink regular fluids and try and rest and literally put your feet when you can especially if your baby is up a lot in the night.

ItalianLady Sun 28-Nov-10 20:41:59

Not unreasonable at all. I am sure your parents were disappointed not to see you but with ill husband and children, plus the risk of driving in the snow, you did the right thing.

mollycuddles Sun 28-Nov-10 20:58:33

Thanks for the support. I feel so non specifically guilty all the time these days which I know is crazy. Because we didn't visit my dps dh went to jiu jitsu which is always good for his sugars. He feels ok this evening as a result and is cleaning the bathrooms while I'm feeding the gannet baby. I feel guilty about that too. I have a smidgeon of PND really but just need to stop being so hard on myself.

onepieceoflollipop Sun 28-Nov-10 21:02:58

molly when I read your op my first thought was that you are quite hard on yourself.

You are doing loads, working ft, 3 little children, dh with health problems.

my youngest (I only have 2) was very wakeful and I found it absolutely knackering. I didn't go back to work pt until she was about 10 months and even then I was exhausted.

Have you talked to GP re the PND? It really does get you down (understatement)

mollycuddles Sun 28-Nov-10 21:08:02

Haven't spoken to gp recently, no. I had PND quite badly with ds but not with dd1 and I'd been fine with dd2 more or less until this week. I'm exhausted and that has skewed my judgment to the negative. I have a week off after this week so if that doesn't help I'll definitely go on meds.

ItalianLady Sun 28-Nov-10 21:09:55

I have had PND after each of my children's births but all at different times so I suggest a trip to the doctors to talk things over.

onepieceoflollipop Sun 28-Nov-10 21:10:34

It's hard to tell sometimes molly isn't it when you are so tired and sleep deprived if it really is depression or sheer knackeredness and stress?

I am fairly sure I wasn't depressed (I am a mental health nurse incidentally) but dd2 really knocked my confidence and I was a bit withdrawn. In retrospect it was a combination of stressful job and utter tiredness.

Best wishes to you and your family. Thank goodness you have a week of coming up. Hope you manage to have a bit of a rest.

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