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AIBU?

to let it bother me so much when couples say "we're pregnant"?

263 replies

Schnitzel · 28/11/2010 20:28

I know this is really petty, but it REALLY gets on my goat. Where did this "we're pregnant" business come from?! I'm probably just being a really miserable git.

OP posts:
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WherecanIhide · 28/11/2010 20:30

Sounds a bit American to me - I've watched too many pregnancy/baby programmes on SKY.

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MadamDeathstare · 28/11/2010 20:31

This reply has been deleted

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MadamDeathstare · 28/11/2010 20:32

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MonkeySee · 28/11/2010 20:32

I think we're having a baby is a bit better than we're pregnant.

we're pg just makes me snigger.

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MisSalLaneous · 28/11/2010 20:33

Oh what does it matter? They are obviously not under the impression that the man is about to give birth himself, but just that they are in this together. So, I would assume he would go with her to all classes, obsess over baby books, rub her back, run her a bath when tired, etc etc.

Disclaimer: I'm not defensive, dh is most likely in your camp and would not have been impressed if I went about saying that. I, however, think it's kind of nice, if perhaps a little twee.

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narna · 28/11/2010 20:36

YANBU

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WhereYouLeftIt · 28/11/2010 20:37

At the point when they say "WE'RE pregnant", the actual pregnant person is assuming it's going to be a joint venture? (Cynical or what? Grin)

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IwishIwasmoreorganised · 28/11/2010 20:40

My sister in law said this throughout her pregnancy - I told my brother that he was carrying his baby very neatly!

Now w're having the "we're teething" phase - I've muttered commented, no your dd is but they just let it wash over them!

YANBU - it's odd and I find it strangely annoying too!

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scallopsrgreat · 28/11/2010 20:41

Men aren't pregnant, women are! Why should it be "we"? It is just a way of some men muscling in on a thing that they can never do, being part of the process and generally detracting attention away from the woman. They are however welcome to the 8 months of constant nausea, SPD, piles, labour and a slightly dodgy pelvic floor - please Grin.

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joydivisionovengloves · 28/11/2010 20:42

YANBU. It's factually incorrect and a little bit weird.

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PrematureEjoculation · 28/11/2010 20:44

YANBU tis annoying - bloke taking credit for the task, with woman enabling this.

bleurgh.

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MumInBeds · 28/11/2010 20:48

I've said 'we're pregnant' before, not with my own children but when gestating surrogate pregnancies, it seems the right thing to say when telling a woman for the first time that her child is growing in me.

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onimolap · 28/11/2010 20:50

It is petty (so I hope you can ignore), but I don't like it either. She's pregnant; they're going to be parents.

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Floozle · 28/11/2010 20:51

YANBU - its very vomit inducing.

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fedupofnamechanging · 28/11/2010 20:52

I find it icky too. She is pregnant, he is not. It's a simple fact. Have only heard it from American couples on Discovery Health though. If I heard it in RL, I don't think I'd be able to resist the urge to giggle. Much prefer "we are going to have a baby", although even then she will be the one actually having it.

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MeowyChristmasEveryone · 28/11/2010 20:52

Ahhh, guys, I think some of you are being a bit unfair.

It's hardly Daddy's FAULT that he can't actually BE pregnant, and he HAS been fairly instrumental in his lady partner being in her pregnant state, so I think it's a way of helping the Dad definitely feel that pregnancy not just being something that he watches.

Not all prospective dads are knobs Wink, and I'm sure that MANY throughout history would have loved to have been able to take away the rubbish bits of being pregnancy - the sickness, the SPD, the swollen ankles, the pain of labour and so on.

I'm sure it's not the dad's intention to take any glory from his partner, and I've easily heard as many women say this as men.

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fedupofnamechanging · 28/11/2010 20:54

MumInBeds - I think in your circumstances it is acceptable Smile

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frgr · 28/11/2010 21:00

I cringe at this phrase too. It's usually the women with total wankers of husbands that say it, in my circle of relatives/etc - as if by proclaiming the fact that "we're" pregnant will make the lazy oaf half of the "partnership" get up off his arse to help with housework/attend ante-natal appointments, etc. So, wishful thinking.

(I realise not all people who use this phrase fit that picture. It's just that every time I hear it I'm reminded of my cousin who's married to the laziest fucker in the world (she was doing 100% of the housework even on her due date, and came home to a bomb site whilst she'd been in hospital with complications)... and she used that phrase all the time.. urgh)

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cupcakebakerer · 28/11/2010 21:01

I have to say things like this are the kind of thing that would normally make me feel a bit queasy but my hubby has actually said this a couple of times - totally unaided and each time it has taken me a bit by surprise. So...being biased i now I just think it's cute that he feels so much a part if it! And yes he does watch a lot of American tv so may have picked it up from that.

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MamaVoo · 28/11/2010 21:02

YANBU. Unbearably smug. Are 'we' going to be pushing it out too?

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mayorquimby · 28/11/2010 21:06

"It is just a way of some men muscling in on a thing that they can never do, being part of the process and generally detracting attention away from the woman."

I think it's the other way around actually. And that it's the women promoting the idea so as to push that it's a joint venture and so that the men will have to do stuff like not drink/run a bath on demand/etc. and the women can be demanding with the caveat of "I'm the one carrying the baby/We're pregnant you have to start doing x/y/z cause I'm having a baby for you."

Either way I agree it's a cringeworthy expression for cringeworthy couples

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DrewsGirl · 28/11/2010 21:07

When i was pregnant i always said we were pregnant and we had antenatal and doctors appointments.

no my husband wasnt pregnant but it is his baby and i dont see what is so weird about him being involved in every part of it.

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TattyDevine · 28/11/2010 21:07

Generally vom-inducing but I think we'll let MumInBeds have that one! Grin

Good on ya MumInBeds Smile

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maktaitai · 28/11/2010 21:10

I don't think I could ever say it but I applaud what I assume is the sentiment behind it - that this (at the moment it is said) is a wanted pregnancy between two people.

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Horton · 28/11/2010 21:15

"We are having a baby" is fine. "We are pregnant" is not. It is factually incorrect and vom-inducing. However, I will allow MumInBeds her use of it as that's a rather special situation. And I am in awe of her kindness and generosity.

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