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To think that at 23 years old, I should be able to choose my own bloody Chinese dinner!!

(24 Posts)
anothernewname09 Fri 26-Nov-10 18:50:02

At PILs for dinner, MIL says we are going to have Chinese takeaway- great we tell her. She then proceeds to make an order with out consulting anybody (about 8 of us including PILs).

I love Chinese especially duck in honey sauce or something similar, but no, all we get is deep fried unidentifiable meats.

I'm not ungrateful, but surely we can choose what we want, especially when the bill will be split.

Is this what mist people do? In my family we look at the menu and choose what we want and share a few bits.

AIBU or are PILs takeaway habits strange??

belgo Fri 26-Nov-10 18:52:22

Did she order a set meal for so many people?

booyhoo Fri 26-Nov-10 18:54:18

i would have made her call back and change the order and if she didn't i wouldn't be paying.

pinguwings Fri 26-Nov-10 18:55:52

Why not just say to her, 'can we get....?'

anniepanniepears Fri 26-Nov-10 18:58:34

we decide what to get between us everybody get something diffrent so that we can try diffrent dishes next time ask to see the menu

ENormaSnob Fri 26-Nov-10 18:59:09

I think it's rude especially as you were paying half.


anothernewname09 Fri 26-Nov-10 19:01:54

No, no set menu.

Meal was, SF rice, chicken balls, prawn balls, plain noodles, spring rolls an sweet and sour sauce. Was horrid.

I didn't even know she had ordered it, until it turned up.

Was no time to ask "please can I have"!!

I questioned DH- he said that's how they have always done it!

LittleMissHissyFit Fri 26-Nov-10 19:04:40

Next time, why don't you take her out to a chinese, and order a spread. Or get her over to yours for a chinese and order what you like.

it's probably that she literally doesn't know what else to order.

AnnoyingOrange Fri 26-Nov-10 19:07:44

how disappointing

half the fun is choosing the dishes

anothernewname09 Fri 26-Nov-10 19:08:28

Little miss, I think that as far as they are aware, that's all they do at the Chinese!!

We have a beautiful Chinese near us, maybe I will do as you suggested!!

JamieLeeCurtis Fri 26-Nov-10 19:27:55


she ordered all the "safe" unadventurous crap stuff. Perhaps she has conservative tastes, as LittleMisHissyFit said

anothernewname09 Fri 26-Nov-10 19:45:31

Yes, she proberly does have bad conservative tastes but we dont!!

DH compared it to the fact that if we went round and she cooked, we would all eat the same.

Although we wouldnt pay if she was cooking!

NinkyNonker Fri 26-Nov-10 19:48:22

Sounds like that is their interpretation of what Chinese is and they assumed everyone would agree. Every now and then I like a bit of cheesy Chinese, but I wouldn't want someone to force it on me!

loubielou31 Fri 26-Nov-10 20:21:52

As others have said suggest going out, maybe to somewhere that does buffet. I don't know if you have DCs but I have always found chinese resauants very child friendly. Otherwise next time the suggestion is made just say "ooh yes I really fancy crispy duck pancakes, and do they have any soy steamed chicken on the menu?" Now I really fancy crispy duck pancakes, (off the find takeaway menu) grin

anothernewname09 Fri 26-Nov-10 20:50:25

Loubielou- we have one DD who is 15months but was BLW so eats most things so she is no bother taking out.

All the buffet chinese places around here are not great, but we have a lovely Chinese (well Cantonese) up the road. We know the owner fairly well do he normally just brings us up a selection! We will see if we can take them there.

I like you subtle-ness BTW, although if I said that she would manage to say something to make me look like a snobby pain in the arse!

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Fri 26-Nov-10 20:51:56

Mmmmmmmmmmm, chiiiineeeeeessssseeeeeeee <drools>

zipzap Fri 26-Nov-10 21:01:32

Did you actually tell her when you'd had the food that you found it horrid disappointing and that you were especially upset that she didn't order any of your favourite?

anothernewname09 Fri 26-Nov-10 21:08:36

ZipZap- no I didn't. I didn't want to make her feel bad, she is a nice enough person, and I just thought - oh well, it's done with now.

Do you think I should of??

BonniePrinceBilly Fri 26-Nov-10 21:27:43

I've just rang for the chinese. That with the late late toy show and a beer......ahh.

MsHighwater Fri 26-Nov-10 23:57:40

I agree it's a bit weird to order takeaway, expecting your guest to help to pay for it but not allowing your guest to help choose it but no reason why her choices should have been "horrid".

LittleMissHissyFit Sat 27-Nov-10 16:13:02

I love Thai food, I love Chinese Food.

I do like Indian, but I never had it until I was nearly 20. I literally have no idea what to order.

Mind you I have only eaten a couple of Thai dishes and can never resist the pull of a Pad Thai... I always order the same thing blush

Rereading the choices they made, it screams 1970s chinese.

If you enjoy her company, take em out to a buffet place or for a big old blow out chinese and get them to taste it all. I'll bet that they will be more adventurous after that

LittleMissHissyFit Sat 27-Nov-10 16:14:48

Damn, am dying for a chinese now....

zipzap Sat 27-Nov-10 18:11:47

Think it is reasonable to say something along the lines of - whilst rest of it was barely edible very nice, you were really disappointed as when she said Chinese meal you were really looking forward to the chinese duck, it's the only bit of a chinese meal you really love... If they were paying for all of it, would be a bit diffferent

maybe difficult to bring it up in conversation but if they mention the chinese meal again (or chinese meals in general) then it would definitely be reasonable to bring it up.

And if you find yourself in the same circumstances, if you discover that she hasn't ordered it, ask them for the number and that you will ring them up and get it added to the order, even offering to pay for it separately - or if you are playing devil's advocate ask what had been ordered for you as you don't like most of what had been ordered you can cancel off the dish they had thought you would have...

If you don't say something or do something about it now you are going to find yourself eating dodgy chinese without your favourite duck forever at theirs!

KenDoddsDadsDog Sat 27-Nov-10 18:27:57

BonniePrince Chinese and latelate toy show here too!
Over at the inlaws (who have chicken curry EVERY time!)

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