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To be a Doctor but to forget all my medical training when it comes to my own DD

(47 Posts)
loopylo Fri 26-Nov-10 08:24:47

I'm a doctor, I spent 6 years at medical school and work as an anaesthetist. I am now on maternity leave and when ever DD is sick or just being a normal baby I become irrational and have to ask my DH (also a doctor) stupid questions.

For some reason with my own child I have forgotten all my medical training.

I did find it odd in pregnancy and with my HV how much people expect you to know just because I'm a doctor. I know nothing, I'm new to this and I want to be treated like ever other new mum. Any other medical people-nurses, doctors, mv etc feel the same ?

TattyDevine Fri 26-Nov-10 08:27:43

I'm not a medic but I knew so many answers in my NCT class that the GP who was in my NCT group thought I might be a midwife grin

(We need a teacher's pet emoticon - maybe a big green apple?)

I know what you mean though.

Maybe when you meet new people and they say "what do you do", just say "I'm a housewife" then they'll really dumb it down for you. Seems to work for me hmm

Lemonstartree Fri 26-Nov-10 08:31:53

um loopylo that's why we shouldn't treat our own family ! Because its impossible to be objective. ( I am a GP and NEVER treat my own kids)

working9while5 Fri 26-Nov-10 09:28:46

My SIL is a GP and she didn't tell anyone her profession so that she didn't have to face these issues.

brimfull Fri 26-Nov-10 09:32:43

I am a nurse.
I never tell anyone I am if I need to be seen medically because I don't want them to assume I don't need information thay would give to someone else iyswim.

Dh thinks it's weird that I don't say anything.
I regularly take ds as he has allergies/asthma etc asthma nurse knows I am a nurse , that works out well as we discuss new developments etc .

curlymama Fri 26-Nov-10 09:33:55

Agree with what the others have said. There is a very good reason why doctors aren't supposed to treat family.

Although completely different, I'm a pre school teacher, and it amazes me how many of the parents there seem to think I must be the perfect mother just because I'm capable of looking after a bunch of three year olds!

If you can, try not to tell anyone what you are trained to do.

As a bonus, if you go back to work, it will be great that you now have a new found understanding of how irrational us Mothers can be! grin

eviscerateyourmemory Fri 26-Nov-10 09:35:01

It might also help to remember that you would never normally consider getting your child seen by an anaesthetist for these sorts of concerns. smile

FantasticDay Fri 26-Nov-10 09:36:23

My DH and I both studied conflict resolution. A lot of that goes right out of the window faced with a three year old throwing a tanty.

donkeyderby Fri 26-Nov-10 09:37:32

I used to be a nurse and I often keep quiet about it because I think other medical professionals can become intimidated and assume that you will feel patronised, or they are worried that they will be caught out for not knowing their stuff in enough detail.

My friend is a paediatrician and when he had his first child, they were always calling out the doctor in a panic because they couldn't cope! Maybe too much knowledge is a scary thing

KateF Fri 26-Nov-10 09:38:52

I trained as a doctor but don't practice any more. My GP knows my background so we can have sensible conversations about the dds medical issues but I tend to keep it quiet otherwise. I once let it slip to a mum at school and she appeared at my doorstep with her spotty offspring when I had a three day old baby and said "has he got chicken pox then?" shock.

However, do trust your instincts. My mum was being investigated for peptic ulcer last year. I had an uneasy feeling but told myself not to interfere. I was right-she had pancreatic cancer and died four weeks after diagnosis. I should have been more pro-active and I will never forgive myself.

GeraldineAubergine Fri 26-Nov-10 09:44:51

I'm a theatre nurse and I don't tell other people when i attend appointments. after I gave birth to DS I was rushed to theatre and all of that went out of the window as i had worked with the scrub nurse, anaesthetic assistant, circulator and anaesthetist. I had picked a different hospital to avoid this, but I guess the best laid plans fail
I'm worried sometimes I don't think my family and friends are really ill and don't give them enough sympathy when its due, because of seeing 'really' ill people at work if that makes sense.

alicet Fri 26-Nov-10 09:45:29

I am a doc and exactly the same as you. I remember once apologising when I took my ds to the GP for something super trivial that I had convinced myself could be serious they said that there is a very fine line between being neurotic and neglectful and he would always prefer to see lots of neurotic doctor mums! I thought this was a fab thing to say.

You CAN'T be objective with you own children so my basic rule of thumb is that if I even consider taking them to the GP I do so.

IckleJess Fri 26-Nov-10 09:47:15

Kate, I too lost my mum to pancreatic cancer, just 6 weeks after diagnosis. Please don't feel guilty - there is very little anyone can do when it comes to this type of cancer, I very much doubt an earlier diagnosis would've made any difference to the eventual outcome.

cazzybabs Fri 26-Nov-10 09:53:06

curlymama - yes yes yes.. I am a teacher but it doesn't mean my children listen to me, are well behaved and incredibly intelligent

in fact I hate having other people's children round to me house because I don't want to be a "teacher" just a mum -

Spinaroo Fri 26-Nov-10 10:00:23

Cazzybabs- exactly what I was going to say.grin And when we are doing homework, if I sugggest something that their teacher hasn't mentioned then it is completely discounted.Apparently I know nothing!

OP- I know a few nurses who are the same as you- I wouldn't worry.

loopylo Fri 26-Nov-10 10:51:57

I think it is more universal than I thought. Was mentioning it to my friend this am who is also a doctor and she took her DD to A and E with her milk rash. I have shown my DD's milk rash to the HV and gp !! I'm crazy.

Also I stick needles into lots of kids but know I will get upset when I take her for her 8wk jabs. See double crazy.

supersunnyday Fri 26-Nov-10 11:01:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rillyrillygoodlooking Fri 26-Nov-10 11:04:20

My mum is a nurse and she shouted for my Dad when my sister fainted once.

Also, when I was born I had to be fed through a tube in my nose and because they know she was a nurse they just handed her over the stuff and assumed she would know what to do. She didn't, she cried.

gasman Fri 26-Nov-10 11:06:22

I struggle with when it is appropriate to seek healthcare advice.

Either go with really stupid minor things or delay going with something v. serious.

I think it is normal for us TBH.

My friend, fellow gas person, with a non medically hubby lets him call all the shots about when the children should be seen by a HCP (usually she is the one saying 'they will be fine' and he is worried). Works for them. Might not work for you in your two doctor combo though!

PinkIsMyFavouriteCrayon Fri 26-Nov-10 11:10:11

I'm a nurse and never admit it to medical staff! The worst was when I convinced myself DD had breathing issues (she did, a cold!) and rang NHS Direct, never once mentioning to the nurse that NHSD had just offered me a job!! Think I may have given something away when I started using phrases such a 'subcostal recession' and 'tracheal tug', Idiot grin

petelly Fri 26-Nov-10 11:12:53

I think it's WORSE if you're a doctor - because you see the really worst cases and not the majority of healthy people!

lillibet1 Sat 27-Nov-10 21:46:27

I'm a nurse and find it hard both ways panic about ds's health is he sleeping to much is he feeding ok are his nappies wet / dirty enough but i hate the way some people patronise and treat me like i'm stupid there must be some half way house situation you do know these things but just like all new mum's you need the reassurance. i also agree with petelly a little knowledge is a dangerous thing

onimolap Sat 27-Nov-10 21:58:18

Doctor's children are always semi-negected healthwise!

When DD was under the weather recently, I said I'd speak to a family member who is a doctor. She pouter, and said " Can't you ask a real doctor?" What did she think he was - polyester?

Unless you're a GP, you won't be dealing with children's minor ailments day to day. And your own child is a completely different beast to those you see as patients anyhow.

ilovehens Sat 27-Nov-10 22:02:38

I'm a nurse and have a terrible tendency to panic when dcs are ill, but I absolutely hate it when health pros start to patronise me and I then have to admit that I'm a nurse and that's enough to click them into 'sensible mode' and then we can have a proper conversation hmm

snicklesneeze Sat 27-Nov-10 22:06:36

I'm a GP.
I sent my DS to nursery with a broken arm blush

I am one of those horrible have-no-sympathy at all parents I think (although so far neither of my kids have actually been that unwell touch wood)

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