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to not be scared of giving birth but be freaked out...

(198 Posts)
OnlyWantsOne Wed 24-Nov-10 20:07:29 the 6 weeks that follow?

I remember sitting on the loo when DD was about 5 weeks old, she was screaming to be fed, i hurt all over, feeling disgusting and hating my ruined body oozing everywhere with sore bits and being pretty fed up TBH.

So, im 39 weeks, and I have started to dread the next bit... people keep phoning me (WHY do they think that it's ok to do this??) and asking if Ive had the baby yet... and Im dreading going for a wee and it making me cry.

Or that first poo.

Oh... heck

SuePurblybiltByElves Wed 24-Nov-10 20:09:10

Happy days. I was more freaked by the hospital stay than the birth grin

You'll be grand. Keep us posted.....

KaraStarbuckThrace Wed 24-Nov-10 20:10:42

YANBU. It's the constipation, piles and the first poo that I dread. I remember having lots of hot baths to help that along after I had DS.
And I am only 12 weeks, I am dreading it already!

OnlyWantsOne Wed 24-Nov-10 20:11:00

I fully intend a birthing thread, planning a HB

QuintessentialShadows Wed 24-Nov-10 20:11:18

oh yes, that first poo.


The baby will make up for all that....

KaraStarbuckThrace Wed 24-Nov-10 20:11:24

Oh I've already spat my dummy out over hospitals - I refuse to go back to where DS was born.

Trubert Wed 24-Nov-10 20:12:11

Eat lots of fig rolls during labour and your first poo will be fine

ConstanceFelicity Wed 24-Nov-10 20:12:14

The first poo was far easier the second time. Everything was. The dread is good- It means you'll be pleasantly surprised

DullWomenHaveImmaculateHomes Wed 24-Nov-10 20:12:46

Yes the first poo - I remember it well!
Will you have help? It will be very different this time with DD to look after as well (sorry, that doesn't sound very helpful does it?!)
Look at it this way. The sore bit will be over in a flash and you'll forget about it really quickly. Just enjoy the warm cuddly bits (and get a donut cushion. Mine was my best friend )

petelly Wed 24-Nov-10 20:12:58

I know each birth is different, but that's how I felt with dd1. Her birth was hard!! BUT the birth of dd2 was totally different. I felt absolutely fine after giving birth - a little sore (10lb of baby doesn't pass by your lady-bits without you noticing ) but nothing in comparison to after dd1's birth.

Not sure if that's everyone's experience but I think first births tend to be quite hard. I think once it's all been stretched out down there by your first then it's all a bit easier grin

YANBU to be stressed - I felt the same! BUt please try not to worry, each birth is different.

KaraStarbuckThrace Wed 24-Nov-10 20:13:03

I am also considering a HB. If only so we don't have to worry what to do with DS!!

OmniaParatus Wed 24-Nov-10 20:15:11

Oh I'm sorry that you feel like this- being 39 weeks is miserable enough (only 23 gone myself).

Maybe it won't be so bad this time? My first birth, DS got stuck, I had internal tears and an epi, and I was sore for 6 weeks. Second birth, first degree tears, was fine within the week, didn't hurt to pee or poo at any time.

Sending you a big hug, ignore the phone or send everyone daily texts telling them no news.

Do you have the time/money/energy to go and have a treat like a manicure or hairdressers to take your mind off it?

notnowbernard Wed 24-Nov-10 20:15:45

DC3 is 3m old

He was 10lb 2oz and I didn't tear

DC1 was 7lb 8oz and I had 2 2nd degree tears with stitches

Recovery with DC3 was a piece of piss comparitively... yeah I had piles and had to wee bent over hmm but, in all honesty, it was all fine

Good luck smile

notnowbernard Wed 24-Nov-10 20:22:52

The thought of the 1st poo is a terrifying one though, admittedly...

To combat this I made sure immediately post-birth I started on dried apricots, grapes, branflakes, PROPER prune juice (not from concentrate stuff is whatyou need) and tried to avoid too much refined carbs

I also took Lactulose twice a day for a couple of weeks post birth


ladyfirenze Wed 24-Nov-10 20:23:03

right, listen - it will probably be fine. here's why....

your body has done this all before - so the 'shock' factor is greatly reduced second time round... plus, you are already a 'practising' mumma (a superior human being imo)!

first time round for me i had a dreadful time in the six weeks after. sore fanjo, probably thrush in nipples, and sore boobs from milk. second time round i was bricking it - especially as it was twins! i seriously didn't think my lady garden would survive.

however... even though i had seven years between pg, that old saying "the pathways have been laid" really is true. even boobs felt much softer and more manageable.

i was actually so fine the next day i could hardly believe it.

take your time when babes head crowns, that really made a difference when i witnessed friends giving birth.

ooh and treat yourself to some lovely comfy 'after' knickers, and a nice big pack of squashy fanjo nappies.

heymango Wed 24-Nov-10 20:24:01

It won't be as bad as you think, and you'll be so busy you won't notice too much.

I had a bit of a mental checklist going on - first wee, first poo, lochia slowing down, BF not hurting anymore etc. It helped me feel as if each hurdle was a step closer to being back to normal (ha!)

Good luck - look forward to the birth thread!

PassionKiss Wed 24-Nov-10 20:29:08


I quite loved my labour (weirdo) but I was so shocked by the aftermath! The blood, the gore, the stitches, the catheter, the fact I couldn't stand up straight, the hospital bed/food etc.

OnlyWantsOne Wed 24-Nov-10 20:29:13

DDs birth was easy though apparently. At a teeny 6.13 and 4 hours established labour.

Still didnt stop my clit feeling like it had been ripped off...

Have got fibrogell, prune juice etc all ready... oh fuck

im so shitting it now. the birth doesnt scare me...

although I did have local anesthetic last time incase they were going to give me an episiotomy (they didnt) so never actually felt the ring of fire... FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Greenwing Wed 24-Nov-10 20:29:45

It is very very likely to be much easier second time around.

KaraStarbuckThrace - if you have a HB (as I did with DS3) you most will still have to plan what to do with DS as you need to be able to rush off to hospital at the drop of a hat if the midwife decides it to be necessary.

OnlyWantsOne Wed 24-Nov-10 20:34:45

is it really easier 2nd time round??

Unrulysun Wed 24-Nov-10 20:36:07

I had an emcs with dd and now I'm hoping to start dc2 asap and you lot are scaring me

Mrsmackie Wed 24-Nov-10 20:38:33

I'm 39 weeks too - second baby. The whole thing (birth, sore bits afterwards, first poo etc) is feeling me with dread but EVERYONE I know who has had more than one baby tells me it's easier second time around. Fingers crossed

notnowbernard Wed 24-Nov-10 20:40:16

HAve had 3DC

The births got progressively harder (DC3 was bloody hard graft)

But the recovery time got progressively quicker. I can honestly say after DC3 I felt really well almost immediately. Kept waiting for the 'body shock' to set in but it never happened smile

DuelingFanio Wed 24-Nov-10 20:46:36

I absolutely feel the same way as you. I have no fear of the birth (possibly stupidly as I have never experienced it before) but I am really scared about the 6 weeks after!!

PhishFoodAddiction Wed 24-Nov-10 20:49:32

I think it is easier second time around- I couldn't believe how well I felt after DD2's birth. I had a second degree tear (even though DD2 just kind of slid out-seriously- without much effort on my part) it healed up really quickly compared to the episiotomy I had with DD1.

I felt much more 'normal' after DD2- I could walk about really well, compared to barely being able to after DD1. The toilet experience was fine too.

The worst thing I dreaded with DD2 was the being up all night with screaming, non settling baby, but she was pretty good. I was pleasantly suprized by the whole thing. (Disclaimer- she is now going through the terrible twos so please don't think I'm being smug!)

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