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in asking this child to stop hitting my child.

(45 Posts)
altinkum Wed 24-Nov-10 15:31:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SheWillBeLoved Wed 24-Nov-10 15:33:22

YANBU. You did nothing wrong in asking another child to stop hitting yours. She should have done it herself, and probably feels embarrassed that you had to do what she failed to do.

RunawayChristmasTree Wed 24-Nov-10 15:36:19

YANBU at all, tell her she should be embarrassed at her crap parenting.

FranSanDisco Wed 24-Nov-10 15:37:41

Tell her she should be embarrassed at her selective eyesight. I hate parents like this.

mjinhiding Wed 24-Nov-10 15:37:52

Message withdrawn

Mowiol Wed 24-Nov-10 15:37:53

In fact you should have told her child to stop hitting yours, not asked. Apart from that definitely not BU.

She should be embarrassed - she obviously thinks it's OK for her child to hit others.

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns Wed 24-Nov-10 15:38:26


i hate these 'pretend i dont see my angel being a total shit' parents.

2shoes Wed 24-Nov-10 15:39:59

she is embarrassed cos she should have stopped him

taintedpaint Wed 24-Nov-10 15:40:41

I'm surprised she had the balls to text you tbh. YANBU. Have you responded to her message?

Firawla Wed 24-Nov-10 15:41:32

yanbu, its only because she didnt tell him off that you had to do it, she is being very U whereas what you did was fine. did she wish you just to ignore your child being beaten up by hers?? ridiculous

peeringintothevoid Wed 24-Nov-10 15:43:42

YANBU! If she can't or won't control her own child, then she can't complain when other people step in.

cupofcoffee Wed 24-Nov-10 15:45:28

YANBU. Agree that she brought the embarrassement on herself by not taking action when her ds was hitting. I also hate parents like this who don't like others telling off their child but also don't do it themselves. I mean each to their own when it comes to 'individual' rules but when it comes to violence, theft, vandalism, anything that is not acceptable to society as a whole, then what do these parents expect when they don't deal with it themselves? Do they think you should just stand there and get bashed??

flamingpants Wed 24-Nov-10 15:46:57

YANBU at all in your actions. And she is behaving like a crazy loopy lady. Which means you have to tread carefully!

I wouldn't be rude about her parenting as others have suggested as this would just antagonise the situation.

Have you spoken to the mutual friend? What was their opinion?

Avoid this woman at the gates, hmm and the child for that matter.

nickeldonkeyonadustyroad Wed 24-Nov-10 15:47:15

she's embarrassed by her own lack of behaviour, not by your actions.

she's embarrassed because she was ineffectual in the situation and didn't tell her own child off for hitting another child.


SheWillBeLoved Wed 24-Nov-10 15:50:22

Text her back with "Ha! Not one YABU - suck on that! bear"

altinkum Wed 24-Nov-10 15:51:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mowiol Wed 24-Nov-10 16:05:25

Nail imprints?! Poor little guy! How old is this other boy?

cupofcoffee Wed 24-Nov-10 16:05:39

I do think that sometimes the attitude of parents like the one in your OP can make the child behave badly at times. I have had similar experiences in past and the child learns that no one else is allowed to tell them off. My experience however was that the parent would tell off the child if they saw what happened but if they weren't watching then they would take the 'I didn't see so can't comment' attitude and not tell them off but equally got upset if someone else stepped in. The problem then is that the child soon caught on that no one else could tell them off without it causing a scene and so behaved very well directly in front of parent but in another room would behave unacceptable in the knowledge there would be no comeback

Mowiol Wed 24-Nov-10 16:12:10

I agree with cupofcoffee about children learning very fast that others can't tell them off.
But unfortunately there are parents out there who back their little angels all the way - even to the extent of ignoring hitting, biting etc.
Not exactly teaching boundaries is it?
Are they going to follow their offspring around in adult life "protecting" them from an employer who might tell them off?

coolascucumber Wed 24-Nov-10 16:16:22

One good 'playground' friend blanked me for a considerable time after I casually suggested she ask her child to stop spitting on the other children. Can't think of any circumstances when I would let me kids keep spitting on others and not say anything.

thisisyesterday Wed 24-Nov-10 16:19:24

yanbu and if she says anything to you again i would point out that you will NOT sit by and watch another child attack yours and that if she doesn't do anything then you will

hopefully being talked to by school about the other incident will make her realise she is being utterly unreasonable and her son is being unkind

hope your ds is ok

MadamDeathstare Wed 24-Nov-10 16:38:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare Wed 24-Nov-10 16:40:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wintersnow Wed 24-Nov-10 16:40:58


grapeandlemon Wed 24-Nov-10 16:43:42

Stupid Woman YANBU

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