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Not to respond to my friend properly until she asks me a single question about myself?

(5 Posts)
PamelaFlitton Tue 23-Nov-10 19:57:08

I have a long-term friend who is quite high maintenance. We used to share a house but I have since moved away. We communicate mainly via MSN, FB chat and texts.

IMO, she is completely obsessed with her own life and all our conversations are entirely one-sided, with her going on and on about her (fairly minor) issues, crushes, work etc. and never, and I mean never, asking me a single question about my own life. Not even a not-really-meaning-it 'How are you?'. If I text her telling her something, e.g. a joke or a funny story, she replies with absolutely no acknowledgement of that, and just a rant about whatever's going on with her.

I have decided not to respond properly to what she says until she actually asks me a question about myself or my life, or even anything that isn't precisely about her such as 'Did you see Have I Got News For You'. Instead I just say 'oh?' 'haha' or 'yeah' on MSN. I ignore her phone calls, because they just consist of a rant from her. I have been doing this for about 2 weeks and she hasn't noticed.

I'm genuinely interested to see how long it will take for her to realise. AIBU and passive-aggressive? I think maybe I should point all of this out to her, but I think if she hasn't, by the age of 32, grasped that it's polite to at least pretend to be interested in what your friends are up to then she never will.

Serendippy Tue 23-Nov-10 19:58:44

YABU and passive-aggressive and she is rude and self-obsessed. Sounds like it is not a friendship made in heaven anyway, maybe time to call it a day?

emmie31 Tue 23-Nov-10 20:01:54

I've dropped 2 friends like that, lifes too short and I like to spend time with friends that I have more in common with and aren't so draining and self obsessed.

sunshineriver Tue 23-Nov-10 20:02:43

How far have you moved away? Is it too far to arrange a visit and a proper catch up? Sounds like she just thinks that you enjoy hearing about her life and forgets that she needs to return the listening skills...

TattyDevine Tue 23-Nov-10 20:02:50

See, I wouldn't bother with all that as it makes you seem as rude as her - even if you know your reasons for doing it, it will go over her head.

I'd just file her in a "small doses" category and enjoy her for what she is. If you can't enjoy her at all, I guess you might have to call it a day.

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