DH's Xmas "do"

[onceamai]

Dreading this. DH is quite senior about 3rd in a co. with about 140 staff - also quite new. Have the spectacular Xmas party coming up. Shooting and riding the afternoon before - overnight at a spa then champagne reception and dinner, etc. I'm not doing the afternoon stuff because of work but I'm feeling fat, frumpy and 50 (almost). Size 14 nowadays and feel I always look tired. Have a very classic velvet skirt and feel like ordering a really nice boden silvery top and teaming with a nice black, crystal necklace and buying some lovely black high heels. Not an IABU but more of a wwyd.

Don't feel very attractive at the mo. DH has said get there early and he will treat to what I want at the hotel spa and will also have hair done and rehighlighted the week before.

I don't want to spend a huge amount because really need to lose a stone (11st 4 at present and 5'4"). Should I pull the stops out and buy something really decent.

And to apologise in advance, I know I am very very lucky and really don't want to upset some posters who I know face an uphill struggle but I feel such an tired old fat blob at the moment.

[mumblechum]

Sounds like it could be fun.

Not sure what your question is, though?

[grumpypants]

Well, wear something comfy so you don't regret every mouthful - nice stretchy velvet dress? Your dh sounds lovely btw.

[onceamai]

Mumble - question is: can I get away with teaming a new top for 59 pds with an old skirt because I feel too fat and unattractive to buy a really decent new dress - and at the best of times hate spending money.

[mumblechum]

Oh, right. Yes you can. What are your arms like, and is the top long sleeved? I only ask because I'm getting rather chunky and never ever expose naked arms these days

[onceamai]

Arms and shoulders and ankles are OK. It's the rest of me - esp round the menopausal midriff.

[onceamai]

The worry is also that I'm the new wife and have never been seen before and DH is really quite good looking and I don't want them to think I'm the dumpy frump.

[KangarooCaught]

personal shopper?

[onceamai]

Oh god - not the new wife as in new to DH but no-one at the co. has met me before.

[Unrulysun]

Yes re top and skirt. But what about the other bits of the event? Sounds like more than one outfit required?

I would focus on grooming - get a manicure with a really up to the minute colour (and buy the bottle so that you can retouch). Get a cut and a colour -even if you don't colour get one of those gloss things and go to MAC and get a makeover so that you feel like your make up is perfect.

And I'd get a subtle spray tan too - very flattering/slimming.

Also get some exercise if you can - for the happy chemicals rather than actual weight loss.

[traceybath]

Oh god - definitely buy something new that you will feel fab in.

Ebay it once you lose weight.

And your DH sounds lovely and I suspect you are way more attractive than you think

[DivineInspiration]

Firstly, you don't look as bad as you feel - that's for certain. We all critique ourselves far more harshly than what anybody else does.

Secondly, a nice, well-fitting outfit will make you feel much better about yourself than if you go along feeling like you've worn something second-best, or something which you tell yourself isn't as nice as what you'd have worn if you were slimmer, which won't do anything for your confidence or mood.

What about looking for a glam dress, or if you prefer, a good top on eBay? You can get some lovely clothes without spending a heap. If you're actively trying to lose weight and don't want to be left with something that won't fit when you have, a wrap style is a good idea: you can adjust the fastenings on something a size bigger.

[CMOTdibbler]

I really wouldn't do the long velvet skirt - you inevitably look a bit frumpy in a top and skirt (tis, for instance, the sort of thing my mum would have worn to a dinner dance) at a posh do.

Go to John Lewis and get their personal shopper service to sort you out with an outfit. Underwear of the v supportive type will make a huge difference too.

[AlistairSim]

YABVU.

Your proposed outfit sounds lovely.
Take your DH's offer of pampering up and go with a glow and a smile on your face.

Your DH certainly will not see you as frumpy.

[LunarRose]

Your not being unreasonable,

Afternoon at a spa pampering and time out sounds perfect. If you have that option buy yourself something nice. Have fun and enjoy the evening.

[mistletoekisses]

Lordy OP, go and spend some money on an outfit you feel a million dollars in. Please dont try and make do with something you already have at the moment. Not for a nice big 'do' like this.

[QueenCrystal]

buy gorgeous dress - you'l regret it if you feel frumpy (and yes, ebay it afterwards if necessary!), light spray tan, great make up and accessories and spanx (hide and sleek works wonders!!). good luck, enjoy

[fullofbeanstoday]

Get new gorgeous dress that you feel really nice in. You'll feel more confident and come across as confident too.

[Oblomov]

I am very saddened to read your post. Agree with some others. You need to re-think your attitude. This could be good. Your dh sounds like diamond. Mine is too. He just says to me similar, go and get your hair cut (£30) and get a nail paint (£10), that makes me feel like a million dollars.
Get a £40/£50 dress, and you will feel fab.
No one will say nasty things about you, re frumpy. They just won't. You are too nice. And when you start talking they will realise this.
when they get back in the office on monday, they will say, wasn't dh's wife SOOOOOOO nice. they will. really.

[Plumm]

Yes - buy something you feel fab in and you'll have a good time. Don't worry about the money and wanting to loose weight - it's only one outfit.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

In your position I would buy something new, have a haircut, manicure, facial and some new make-up.

Just because you feel overweight and unattractive doesn't mean that you should punish yourself by going to something like this feeling anything other than fabulous.

[everybodysgotone]

You are NOT frumpy. God there are loads of TEENAGERS round here who are bigger then a 14. Seriously have you seen the size of some youngsters these days 14 at nearly 50 is fine

[TheRedQueen]

Absolutely agree with QueenCrystal and Unrulysun - new dress (ideally with help of personal shopper), supportive underwear, spray tan, exercise, great make-up, well cut and coloured hair, fab accessories. Manicure a MUST!

High maintenance, moi?

[MmeLindt]

Why are you worried about spending money on yourself?

Even if you do lose weight (and believe me, I know how hard that is to do) you may still be able to wear the new outfit. Or have it altered.

And if not, give it to someone else or to charity shop.

Buy something that you feel really truly fab it. It will give you the confidence boost that you need and allow you to enjoy the evening much more.

It does not have to be mega expensive.

[fedupofnamechanging]

I saw some very pretty underwear on This Morning today, which was shape underwear, but not the stuff that looks like sausage skin. The prettiest was £59 from John Lewis and I think you couldn't help but feel sexy in it.
Maybe something like that would help you to feel better about your figure.

I do think it worth spending a bit on something lovely to wear (if you can afford to) because it will help you to feel more at ease. This sounds like quite a posh 'do'.

I also recommend kick ass shoes!