Have namechanged just in case....
DH's sister died just under 2 years ago. She was 40 and married. Everyone coping OK with it (as much as you can anyway). BiL met someone else which we are very pleased about. He rang this morning to say he will be coming to visit just before Christmas. Only he said 'we' not 'he'. He's been hinting at bringing his new lady to visit for a while, but has never actually come out with it before. There wasnt a question from him about whether we would find it acceptable or even difficult, only about whether we'd be at home.
Neither my DH nor I are particularly close to him, he lives hundreds of miles away in Scotland, although I hope we have been very supportive of him during the grieving process. He's a nice enough guy, but I think this is a huge ask of us (as does DH). Would be more than happy to see him at family functions and keep in touch, but as for bringing his new partner to our home, nope. DH feels uncomfortable about it, I feel uncomfortable about it, and how on earth will the poor woman feel?
Dont think he has much insight into how other people feel about things at all as he blithely told me that he wanted to introduce her to 'MiL' (as in late wife's mother). When I said she (MiL) might find that really difficult, he couldnt see it at all.
Should we just say yes to this visit, when actually I think we really want to say no? And if we say no, how on earth do we do it?
PS just to emphasise, its not about wanting him to remain single at all, its just that DH was really close to his sister, and I was too. Pleased that he is moving on but dont want to be particularly involved in them as a couple. Does that make any sense?
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to be really uncomfortable about this?
104 replies
poetscorner · 23/11/2010 09:29
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