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to not want DH to pay MIL to clean our house

(143 Posts)
AmandaCooper Thu 18-Nov-10 21:40:28

Am I? DH thinks so, so I said I would ask you guys.

FakePlasticTrees Thu 18-Nov-10 21:41:21

Need more info please.

gut reaction, if you're going to have domestic staff, they shouldn't be family.

piprabbit Thu 18-Nov-10 21:41:51

Is your problem with MIL cleaning your house, or DH wanting to pay?

IMO I'd avoid this situation as it would feel like a license for MIL to snoop.

Errmmmm Thu 18-Nov-10 21:42:46

OMG, it would be like that episode of SatC where the cleaner/nanny finds the sex toys in the bedside drawer.

YANBU.

southeastastra Thu 18-Nov-10 21:43:35

lol at everyone assuming amanda has lots of dildos to hide grin

usualsuspect Thu 18-Nov-10 21:43:40

domestic staff?...grin

AmandaCooper Thu 18-Nov-10 21:44:21

Both. Don't like the thought of the awkwardness of paying her to clean up after us, and don't like the idea of her snooping about. She is completely OTT with her cleaning though, she'd certainly do a good job! He has already agreed this with her without asking me!

AmandaCooper Thu 18-Nov-10 21:46:05

Another plus is that she would sleep much easier at night. I'm sure she lies awake at night thinking of the clutter left on our coffee table and worrying about her pfb.

potplant Thu 18-Nov-10 21:46:42

No no no no.

We did this and it was a nightmare. She seemed to create work for me, never cleaned the things I wanted to her to do and also gave her carte Blanche to come and go when she felt like it.

And my MIL is lovely and we get on really well.

brimfull Thu 18-Nov-10 21:46:59

good god no

never would I have my mil clean my house

ENormaSnob Thu 18-Nov-10 21:47:08

Yanbu

howdidthishappenthen Thu 18-Nov-10 21:47:17

No no no no no no no no no no no. Over My Dead Body.

BigTeuchLittleTeuch Thu 18-Nov-10 21:47:41

Maybe suggest 'public rooms' only, although quite frankly I am sitting here thinking "no fucking WAY" would my MIL get over the door when I wasn't here shock

pink4ever Thu 18-Nov-10 21:47:52

OMG this would be ground for divorce in my house! my dh always makes snidey comments about the standards of my housework comparing it to his mothers(who I know for a fact doesnt lift a finger.fil does it all!) but I just tell him if can f*ck off and live with her if he doesnt like it!.

alfabetty Thu 18-Nov-10 21:48:05

Very, very intrusive. Unless U was incapacitated, I wouldn't want a close relative cleaning my house. Esp one where there's that slightly awkward relationship over who is 'head' of the family.

Why does your DH think it is a good idea? And more importantly, why is your MIL keen to do it?

If it is for the money (i.e. your DH wants to give her money or she needs money and neither want it to seem like a handout) why not ask her to do your ironing? Much less intrusive.

SuePurblybiltByElves Thu 18-Nov-10 21:48:05

That sounds like the start of a long-running sitcom. I foresee DOOOOOOOOM. She'd have a key. She'd pop round to finish things. You'd never be able to tell her what to do. She'd buy old lady cleaning products. She'd tut.

I'm basing that on the average though, your MIL could be a saint?

AmandaCooper Thu 18-Nov-10 21:48:07

Oh cripes DH is now yelling from the kitchen that it's done now and if we cancel it she'll be upset and offended.

MoralDefective Thu 18-Nov-10 21:48:09

NOOOO,
I'll clean your house,just don't let your MIL do it.
Can you imagine the shit...grin

D0G Thu 18-Nov-10 21:48:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmandaCooper Thu 18-Nov-10 21:49:07

I have suggested the ironing already - great minds think alike! I have also suggested paying her not to clean the house.

D0G Thu 18-Nov-10 21:49:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alfabetty Thu 18-Nov-10 21:49:35

Say thanks but no thanks.

Do you actually need a cleaner? Why has this arrangement come about?

SuePurblybiltByElves Thu 18-Nov-10 21:49:56

Say no! Tell him if she'll be upset now, it'll be worse in a few weeks when you're leaving snotty notes for one another or she finds your knickers down the back of the sofa.

BigTeuchLittleTeuch Thu 18-Nov-10 21:50:04

maybe form a MIL-Cleaning ring with other dhs people who are considering having their mothers wipe their arses as 'domestic staff'?

Therefore avoiding having own family getting all the glory of keeping you on the right side of acceptable.

mememe30 Thu 18-Nov-10 21:50:22

My MIL cleans every time she visits. She even brings her own cleaning materials now. Regularly cleans the bathroom that I've cleaned before she arrives. Maybe I'm really rubbish at cleaning.

Maybe mine is hinting for a job??

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