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To not do this for my sister

(26 Posts)
ShanahansRevenge Thu 18-Nov-10 17:10:28

She never rings me ever...I ring her regularly though...she has 3 dc and I have 2...she is older by ten years.

She rang me just as I was leaving the house to go to the school to collect DD and go to the book fair with my toddler in tow...and asked could I get Mums credit card detils and order some gifts from Amazon whch Mum is getting sisters DCs or Christmas as they're on sale (it was me who told her they were on sale yesterday)

So I said no...I'm about to leave the house...she moaned and said it only takes a minute...I said no...I would have to make Mum an Amazon account as mine is all set up to take money from MY bank and there's none in there...she said again that no, I only had to get the credit card details and put them in when I checked out.

I refused...she didn't even have the credit card details on her but wanted me to wait till Mum got home and rang me...apparently Mum had just left sis's house. I said no and she shouted...I told her I had no time and why did she not use her oldest DS's laptop as her own is broken...she said " Because I never go in his room and he is in college"


Sister is by the way very computer savvy and buys online ALL the time.

So I said call him up and ask him then!! And she yelled so I yelled back and put the phone down


To top it off, Mum rang me ten mins ago JUST as I was getting the dinner out and says in a sad voice "Can you tell me the name of the shop so I can call DN (sisters DS) at college and ask him to order it?

So I asked if my sister had asked her to ring me and she sad was her own idea as sis had told Mum I would not order the goods.

So I advised Mum to leave my sister to her own ordering...she has a laptop available in er DS's up to er if she wont go in there...I often do things for them online...but if I am just going out or cooking dinner I am not going to be ordered about like this! I think it is becuse I am the youngest. angry

pottonista Thu 18-Nov-10 17:21:02

I don't get it. Why can't your sister do this?

ShanahansRevenge Thu 18-Nov-10 17:21:05

Come on? Anyone?

ShanahansRevenge Thu 18-Nov-10 17:22:00

x posts

Because pottonista...she won't go in her DS room apparently.

TheSkiingGardener Thu 18-Nov-10 17:25:36


Maybe if she had asked you if you could do it, nicely, and in your own time. It's not what she's asked that's unreasonable (odd, but not unreasonable) but the way she has gone about it.

Has she always thought of you as her gofer?

pozzled Thu 18-Nov-10 17:28:04

YANBU to say no, it's completely up to you amd she was certainly BU to expect you to do it there and then. If your sister wants to use the internet she should make arrangements to get access herself.

However if it were me I would have agreed to do it, but at a time that was convenient to me. It wouldn't take that long after all. (But would be less inclined to help if this was one in a long list of requests and I was getting fed up of it all!)

diddl Thu 18-Nov-10 17:30:30

Why can´t she order with her own details & get your mum to pay her back?

I wouldn´t give cc details to anyone.

I don´t have one & I don´t know my husband´s cc number.

And no, yanbu.

Lazy mare!

ShanahansRevenge Thu 18-Nov-10 17:30:50

I offered to d it later but that wasn't good enough,

ShanahansRevenge Thu 18-Nov-10 17:31:54

diddl good point! IN her mind Mum was buying she had to pay. hmm

AgentZigzag Thu 18-Nov-10 17:33:15

Blimey, how old is she?

I'm asking because I'm confused, she's acting like a young teenager but you say she's got children at college.

It's up to you whether you let her treat you like this, if you don't like it tell her (like you would a five year old) that you're going to ignore her if she keeps talking to you in that way, first sign of her having a tantrum cut her off and ignore ignore ignore.

I'm not a fan of the expression but I think 'talk to the hand and not to the face' sums it up nicely.

ShanahansRevenge Thu 18-Nov-10 17:34:48

thanks AZZ...She often talks to me like crap...

vixel Thu 18-Nov-10 17:35:23

YANBU she can't just spring things on you like that

booyhoo Thu 18-Nov-10 17:39:25

i don't egt this. my dad and mum are like this. they both have laptops but will aske me or my sister to look stuff up for them or order something.

my mum only got her laptop a few weeks ago and up until then had never used either their home pc, dad's laptop or my sister's laptop and got them all to do things for her. her excuse was that none of their computers were 'set up' for her hmm

pottonista Thu 18-Nov-10 17:42:24

So this isn't even about whether you'll do it or not, but about whether you'll drop everything in your life to do something for her right now.

YANBU. This is a stupid power game.

TattyDevine Thu 18-Nov-10 17:43:19

I would do it for my mother, but not for my sister. If my mother was paying, I'd get the goods delivered to her and let her sort it out with your sister. At my convenience.

AgentZigzag Thu 18-Nov-10 17:44:30

Some people like being defined as not being computer savvy and will go out of their way not to learn cos they like the helpless it gives them, and that it kind of gets them attention because others will always step in.

Not saying your mums are like this OP and booyhoo smile

ShanahansRevenge Thu 18-Nov-10 17:45:40

Tatty you just made me realize something...why didn't my MOTHER ask me? If she had rung and said reasonably "Can you order this for the kids when you have time?" I would not have thought twice...but it was sister demanding that I do it NOW and wait in for Mum to getting hit on all sides really nce Mum called being all sad about it!

pozzled Thu 18-Nov-10 17:45:55

"I offered to d it later but that wasn't good enough"

In that case I would have told her to F off.

diddl Thu 18-Nov-10 17:47:08

And yes I would also do it for your mum directly.

pottonista Thu 18-Nov-10 17:48:44

Big up the passive-aggressive massive, innit.

Exactly, OP - why can't your mum just ask you directly? They sound very weird tbh.

booyhoo Thu 18-Nov-10 17:50:18

agent i think you're right. mum uses the computers in her work so she can find her way round a computer. i think it is a case of, "i can't be bothered to learn, it's easier if you do it for me" similarly, my 23 year old sister refuses to phone the chip shop when she wants food. she will get my mum or dad to do it. strange.

AgentZigzag Thu 18-Nov-10 17:57:21

Sometimes it's nice to have other people doing stuff you're more than capable of doing, and it could be seen as a test or reflection of how much the person doing the stuff loves you.

Or put another way, they're playing power games grin

unfitmother Thu 18-Nov-10 18:03:26

YANBU, sounds very odd.

booyhoo Thu 18-Nov-10 18:08:19

or in my sister's case, she's lazy grin

ENormaSnob Thu 18-Nov-10 19:29:08

Your sister sounds like a controlling, nasty bitch imo.

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