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To think that FIL is a waste of space?

(6 Posts)
SmilingHappyBeaver Thu 18-Nov-10 09:39:54

DS3 was born 4 weeks ago... DH and FIL have quite a strained relationship as DH does not like his step mother, and despite them living 40 minutes away, we usually only see them once a year(ish).

DH phoned FIL to tell him that DS3 had been born, to which FIL said congratulations, they were about to go on holiday for 10 days and would call when they got back. And we have heard nothing since. hmm

AIBU to not understand why a grandparent would not bother to visit their own Grandchild? He has other "step" grandchildren from his second marriage, who he seems to now consider his real family.

DH is ambivalent about the situation, saying it's his loss if he doesn't want to bother with his new grandson, and won't call him. I feel I should call FIL but am worried I might say something inappropriate to the miserable git. So... should I stay out of it or give FIL a call and ask whether he is intending to visit DS3? wink

DS3 is such a sweet baby boy, and the situation makes me feel like he has been rejected... I am seriously mad about it. angry angry

ShadeofViolet Thu 18-Nov-10 09:55:31

YANBU to be upset and cross, but stay out of it and enjoy DS3

maltesers Thu 18-Nov-10 10:00:08

A strange man IMHO . . .what FIL wouldnt be bothered to go and visit his new grandchild?? Mu Ex FIL was a total Git and very very rude to me once. . . .I could still key his car now. . .the bastard !

CrazyPlateLady Thu 18-Nov-10 10:02:13

Stay out of it. If your DH doesn't want to make contact, let that be his choice.

BreconBeBuggered Thu 18-Nov-10 10:14:46

Maybe he needs a gentle reminder that he has grandchildren of his own that ought to have the same place in his affections as the stepgrandchildren. I have similar feelings towards my own DF. He doesn't entirely ignore his own grandchildren, but his life is so taken up with providing childcare for stepmother's grandkids that it's made clear any time with the DC from his side of the family would be eating into their private adult time. Your DH is probably very hurt at this attitude from your FIL, but in the end I guess it's his call how he chooses to deal with it.

MJB66 Thu 18-Nov-10 11:39:30

I never met my FIL, he and MIL split when my DH was approx 9, he died a few years ago now, But he never aknowledged our son's birth at all.

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