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the term 'Yummy Mummy'

(43 Posts)
PavlovtheCat Wed 17-Nov-10 20:59:39

I was actually rather offended when, after a nice long shower, bit of time spent moisturising, drying/styling my hair, bit of make-up, nice skinny jeans, knee high boots, and a bit of confidence for the first time for a while due to non-sleeping 11 month old I asked DH how I looked and he said

'wow you look good, yummy mummy!!' and I was so crestfallen. I felt like in that one sentence my entire personal non-child identify had been wiped out, I still was identified as 'mummy' even by my DH without children been given any consideration in how I had dressed.

He told me I have been on MN too much grin / thinks I am nuts.

AIBU to feel disempowered by that statement of his?

TattyDevine Wed 17-Nov-10 21:01:31

I dont think you are being unreasonable necessarily to feel disempowered - if that's how it makes you feel. But I think you should take the compliment in the spirit for which it was intended.

Otherwise he may never compliment you again!

preghead Wed 17-Nov-10 21:03:54

It could be worse, I did similar a while back at work and someone said "wow you look good, for a MILF" which I think is a more disheartening term than yummy mummy. Dislike both though.

PavlovtheCat Wed 17-Nov-10 21:04:19

He had better compliment me again, or else we are stuffed as a couple wink he just now knows to say 'wow you look good' and leave it at that grin

pink4ever Wed 17-Nov-10 21:04:43

ffs take a compliment when you get one!. My dh never ussually comments on how I look(good or bad) but after we had been to a party recently he said to me "that dress made your arse look HUGE.wouldnt wear it again if I were you!".
I do understand a little of what you trying to say as I feel that being a sahm has hit my confidence alot but cest la vie!.

PavlovtheCat Wed 17-Nov-10 21:06:11

preghead i dislike MILF too.

I also did not like my DH and one of our best male friends discussing how my welly boots were/were not FMBs while walking behind me once quite recently.

I had no idea what they were talking about, until I asked, they laughed, and told me, and thought I would be flattered that they considered me in that way at all while I was wearing black wellies shock

PavlovtheCat Wed 17-Nov-10 21:08:22

pink I did have to ask for the compliment though. It was not volunteered. He however, does compliment me, but mostly as I have looked so rough and haggard tired mother of a baby that anything that involves being clean and not wearing tracky bottoms these days constitutes 'WOW grin but either way, I either look like a bag of shit tired mother, or a mother who is looking good.

I would quite like to just look good.

BigTeuchLittleTeuch Wed 17-Nov-10 21:08:50

"Yummy Mummy" is a yucky modern term which, until I actually put my brain into gear, I was even guilty of using myself.

With that in mind, I am sure your DH meant well with his compliment, and that you looked fab!

Having said that, I could never feel comfortable with it being used towards me yet I could not put a finger on why...until MN articulated it for me! But to be fair, you were asking for reassurance about your appearance (as opposed to your 'self') having made an effort whereas I object to the phrase as it implies that being a mummy precludes you from looking (and feeling) fabulous, and reinforces the pressure to look a certain way.

(again...the problem with the articulating grin)

peggotty Wed 17-Nov-10 21:09:08

I think the term 'yummy mummy' sounds incredibly dated these days - it's going the way of 'yuppies' hopefully i.e will be defunct soon!

It was a bit flippant of your dh, but I wouldn't go as far as to be offended.

MaudOHara Wed 17-Nov-10 21:09:11

YANBU but to give him the benefit of the doubt he was albeit crassly trying to compliment you

PavlovtheCat Wed 17-Nov-10 21:11:46

luckily I was not too offended with him, we joked about it, while he is now clear as to my view on it, it was relatively lighthearted. He also thinks I am a MILF on account of 'you are, and I do' shock all said with tongue in cheek i assure you grin but still, i wonder how much of this is really how I am now seen.

Diziet Wed 17-Nov-10 22:30:57

You've got to feel for blokes sometimes... they can never get it QUITE right, can they? grin

Diziet Wed 17-Nov-10 22:33:35

Mum is PART of your identity though - not your whole identity, obviously! What's that saying: 'when a child is born, two new people are born - the child and the mother'. Something along those lines!
D'you see what I mean?

SirBoobAlot Wed 17-Nov-10 22:36:50

I hate yummy mummy with a passion. Really grates me.

Hope you make him sleep on the sofa grin

ihaveacroakybaby Wed 17-Nov-10 22:38:01

the term yummy mummy amkes me want to hurl. yanbu.

JamieLeeCurtis Wed 17-Nov-10 22:38:49

Possibly because I am over 40 I find both yummy mummy and rather flattering (from my DH) - he is both acknowledging that I am attractive, and also the mother of his gorgeous boys. What's not to like?

JenniferCanesten Wed 17-Nov-10 22:43:54

Yummy mummy has lots of other societal connotations. I would mind.

However, I would be happy to be called a MILF. But then these days I get quite excited if any old random flirts with me. In Sainsburys the other day the assistant said in a double-entendre voice "Shall I....^double^ bag these for you?" and I was most pleased. Or I have an overactive imagination.

JenniferCanesten Wed 17-Nov-10 22:44:32

nggg double bag hmm

madamehooch Thu 18-Nov-10 07:36:49

YABU. I would take 'Yummy Mummy' anyday over 'very nice, dear!'

snowflake69 Thu 18-Nov-10 08:17:29

I love yummy mummy, milf etc because it reminds me I grew a whole other human inside of me but it didnt change my body/looks at all and I personally love it. Maybe thats what this person was saying to you so revel in it

chandellina Thu 18-Nov-10 08:36:46

yabu. i'm sure he meant it in the nicest way possible.

some people hate the term but for others it's a nice reinforcement that you can be yummy and mummy.

FindingMyMojo Thu 18-Nov-10 10:21:54

"yummy mummy" is so yucky wucky I agree. Wash his mouth out with soap grin

I'm sure he meant it in a nice way too though.

FlameGrilledMama Thu 18-Nov-10 10:27:05

I have to say I prefer MILF to yummy mummy at least MILF is not trying to be anything it is not. Where yummy mummy is women trying to make a new term for MILF and actually calling themselves it plus it makes my skin crawl.

I did wind my mother up the other day when she said jokenly in a restaurant that she is a yummy mummy (she is only 42) So I poited to my children and said as you have two of those I regret to inform you that you are no longer a yummy mummy but a GILF grin

I was also called a FILF the other day by some drunkard in a bar grin

LeQueen Thu 18-Nov-10 10:34:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AbsofCroissant Thu 18-Nov-10 10:37:20

Next time just say "I would prefer a compliment which is not so 2006. Thanks".

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