To go to a Virgin Vie 'party' and not buy anything?

[MooMooFarm]

Have been invited to one next week. I don't want to go really but feel pushed into it by friend who is worried nobody will turn up!

I don't have any spare cash and don't need anything Virgin-Vie-ish. And a friend of mine works at Boots, so I get to use her big discount so get all the smellies and make up I need through her.

I have (politely) told the friend having the party all this but she wants me to come along anyway to 'make up the numbers'.

So come the night, will it be very rude not to buy anything, or should I stick to my guns?

[mistressploppy]

I think as long as you've made your position clear, then it's absolutely fair enough!

I bet no-one will notice anyway

YANBU

[PinkieMinx]

YANBU - don't buy anyhting. You've even told the host you won't be and she wants you there.

Don't get this - I've been invited to a few of these type evenings and would only buy if I wanted something. Have friends who think it's rude not to. Don't get it

[curlymama]

Stick to your guns, but be prepared to feel under pressure from the Virgin Vie girl!

I've been to loads of these type of things, and no matter how much I've tried to not buy more crap that I don't need, when the time comes I always feel rude and like I 'should' be buying something.

Be strong!

[WhyMeWhyNot]

I avoid these parties at all costs, hate feeling compelled to buy when either can't afford or don't like anything.
I'm always polite though never truthful and say sorry I'm working that day.
I do shifts and my rota is a closely guarded secret.
I can say I'm working but cocoon myself indoors with some tv and chocolate

[MooMooFarm]

Oh piss I just want to stay at home and watch the telly now! Might give it a few days and make a last-minute excuse!

[Twilightfan1]

YANBU, I have been to loads of different types of parties and not brought anything, and I have also hosted parties and friends have not brought anything. Everyone knows how tight money is at the moment. Go along and have fun and a laugh if you can. But don't worry about not spending anything.

[risingstar]

i have rules for this-

i just say "sorry thats not my sort of thing, but all the best with it" and change the subject quickly.

this was after being invited to a seemingly never ending round of pheonix chuffing cards, some chocolate thing, ann summers and about a dozen others. i inevitably ended up buying some token effort and found it tedious beyond belief- would rather have invested the tenner in the pub with the same people and had a proper laugh.

to make me go all people had to do is confide that they were really worried that no one would turn up, so i developed the above tac-tic. if you are firm about never going to any of them people actually seem to take less offence and eventually stop asking.

[jellybeans]

I always make excuses/decline these types of things, too awkward between friends and stuff way overpriced.

[pottonista]

These kinds of parties, especially when hosted by friends, are a sort of passive-aggressive mugging. I think risingstar's suggestion is by far the most honest and courteous, in the end.

[PinkieMinx]

I must be lacking social graces or summat - see nowt wrong with not buying!

[CrazyPlateLady]

YANBU, of course you don't have to buy anything or explain to anyone that you aren't.

They are over priced anyway and the stuff you can generally get the same for cheaper elsewhere.

I went to one recently and there was no pressure to buy anything at all.

[FindingMyMojo]

I agree with risingstar.

party plan selling relies alot on people pressure on the night to participate, contribute, not be left out, to BUY BUY BUY!

I'd say sorry I'm on a "self inflicted no buying freeze until mid December" or something (I do do this BTW) - they'll be pushing Christmas gift for others on you at this time of year.

[scoobytoo]

I definitely would not go, I hate these evenings with a passion.
I would make an excuse but wish the friend luck.

[Chandon]

I went to a couple, but always out of politeness, but I hate the pressure to buy.

I get invited to quite a lot of these things, but just always reply; Sorry, I'm not coming.

Most people accept it, however, one girl is quite pushy and was openly disappointed I "only" bought three things at her last do,so to her I just say: "I am not looking to buy any kitchen stuff right now".

It's easiest to simply not go at all.As otherwise, First the pressure you into coming, then when you're a captive audience they pressure you into buying. If you do not "need" anything, they will say it could be a great PRESENT. Then you feel bad and mean and unsupportive. then you buy some crap you do not need with money you do not have. AVOID!

You might not be able to get out of this one though! But for future reference, just say no.

(In the privacy of my home my blood BOILS at these so-called-parties that are not parties, but a thoroughly middle class exercise in how-to-not-have-fun. The wording on the Jamie Oliver "party" invite is particularly blood curdling.)