to want to deck DH if he gives me another philosophy article to read?

[sethstarkaddersmum]

I have dcs aged 1, 3 and 5 and am a SAHM.

Dh is very clever and very intellectual. I was too once but now I am about as intelligent as a chicken and have a shorter attention span. More to the point, I have several dcs to look after. In the course of composing this post I will have been interrupted approximately 15 times.

He is currently obsessed by bloody sodding Feuerbach (19th century religious philosopher who George Eliot liked) and has been on at me and on at me to read a particular article online. The other day he even printed out a copy and brought it home, which the baby has now shredded and eaten.

AIBU to think the fact that he thinks I can read nineteenth century German philosophers whilst looking after a baby and a toddler means he hasn't got a f*cking clue what my life is like? And to wish he would stop rubbing in the fact that he is still clever and I am not and that he gets to read and write all day?

And if I ANBU, should I throw a very heavy volume of German philosophy at him? Or would cooking it for dinner be a good idea?

[PomInTheOven]

Buy a copy of Heat/Closer/Ok! and thrust the latest X Factor article in his face at every chance you get.

[sethstarkaddersmum]

oh I like that Pom. Good thinking.

[VinegarTits]

you are still intelligent, you dont suddenly become thick because you are not reading German Philosophy everyday, tell him to fuck the fuck off

[sethstarkaddersmum]

oh it wasn't sudden, it's been a gradual decline over 6 years

I agree it's not the lack of philosophy that has made me thick but something has!

[deepheat]

Bearing in mind the subject matter, maybe it would be better to consider your repsonse in light of Kant's categorical imperitive? Is the throwing of a heavy tome of German philosophy at your DH a universilizable action? Would it be appropriate if every member of MN did exactly the same? Having said that, Kierkegaard probably would place more emphasis on the individual morality of your response. Its not easy. You have my sympathies.

[KurriKurri]

When he asks you, just say 'Nietzsche, I Kant'

[sethstarkaddersmum]

LMAO Deepheat.

I LOLed at that and ds1 (3) made me read it out, then declared it wasn't funny. Maybe he should read the Feuerbach. I'm sure there are mums on MN with 3yos who read 19th century German philosophy.

[RitaLynn]

Well, I don't know how he's going about it, but you say you used to be intelligent. Is this the sort of thing you used to talk about when you first met, and he wants to rekindle it. Maybe he was attracted to your intelligence, and he feels you've let yourself go (no different to putting on weight IMO)

[Eleison]

Oh yuk to the idea of partner feeling you have 'let yourself go' intellectually, of his diapproving brains with middle-age sag. We would have to wear Feuerbach like heavy foundation to stop our DP's running off with a younger mind and saying "My wife doesn't understand me transformative Hegelian criticism."

[sethstarkaddersmum]

LOL Rita, I think it's kind of more that he hasn't noticed I've let myself go. Kind of as if he was buying me size 10 dresses when I'd actually gone up to a size 14

[ChaoticChristmasAngelCrackers]

Go away for a week leaving a list of everything he has to do. Then just before you go give him a large book containing philosophical articles and tell him he has to read that whilst looking after the children

If he hasn't got a clue it may just make him realise exactly what you do.

[sethstarkaddersmum]

rofl Eleison.

MNers are so much more entertaining than philosophy.

[BonniePrinceBilly]

Its not at all impossible to read 19th century philosophy while looking after small children, however if you have no desire to he should respect that. If I were you I would read it as it seems important to him and he might be looking for somehting to talk about with you.

YANBU in not wanting to read it, however YABU if you have resigned yourself to doing nothing but baby stuff and thinking it isn't possible to do anything else.

[deepheat]

Cheers! Have got the stupid response out the way, so here's the really serious one:

The truth is that self-consciously clever people are rarely that happy. So, next time he's feeling a bit morose and needs a chat because, oh, I don't know, his studies of German Idealism have made him realise that his individual will is rendered impotent by Hegel's revelations, you have a choice of response.

You could either say:

a) Hey honey, it'll be OK. Many of Hegel's observations have been superceded by 20th century postmodern thinkers anyway. Lets chat some more.

or, b) HA HA HA!!! You nearly said that your willy was impotent!!!! Brilliant! Lets go skipping YIPPPEEEEEE!

He'll get the message.

[sethstarkaddersmum]

'Its not at all impossible to read 19th century philosophy while looking after small children, '

do you have some tips on how?
I can manage short sentences and simple ideas.

[Scorpette]

Tell him he's being a total Kant.

...I'll get me coat.

[fedupofnamechanging]

You have my sympathies OP. My DH keeps giving me his assignments to proof read. My brain has been slowly seeping out of my ears since I had DC,to the point where I would rather watch Ben and Hollys Little Kingdom, than read it.

[sethstarkaddersmum]

[ChaoticChristmasAngelCrackers]

Why philosophy? Is he in capable of discussing any other subject. Is there something else, intellectual, that you could offer for discussion, politics, religion that you could discuss instead?

[CaptainBarnacles]

deepheat

[GrimmaTheNome]

My DH sometimes reads philosophy (in between neuroscience, cosmology/physics, Buddhism etc ) - he sometimes talks to me about something particularly interesting but rarely tries to inflict his reading matter on me. Any more than I try to make him read 19thC fiction. We seem to be able to have some intelligent discussions even if I've not done the homework

If your DH can't tell you about it without you having to read it himself he may not have fully grasped it himself.

[deepheat]

Final response: "That's lovely darling. Tell you what, you take the kids for an hour, leave me with your wonderful philosophy books and I'll come up with a cast iron reason why I should leave your sorry arse today."

Bit harsh maybe.

[belgo]

Read 'The sunday philosophy club' by Alexander McCall Smith - very easy to understand.

And the BBC website is great for browsing and keeping yourself up to date with science etc.

[Bluegrass]

Well, you might not be that interested, but he is and at least he's trying to share that with you. He still thinks you are intelligent and capable of abstract analytical thought. Not sure too many MNers would be pleased if their partners wrote them off in the brains department the moment they gave birth so I think you should give him some credit!