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to think that saying to someone that their hair looks "interesting" is actually quite rude?

(22 Posts)
Frazzledmumwithsmudgedmascara Tue 16-Nov-10 12:40:01

I had my hair cut and coloured a couple of weeks ago. I like it a lot and have had lots of nice comments from people saying they like it too.

A woman I know, who is DH's friend's wife, is always a bit snooty with me, like a frenemy really. Her comments often have a bit of a sting in the tail. Anyway, I bumped into her in Tesco yesterday. She said "Oh, you've had your hair done" Me "yes" Friend (smirking): "Hmmm, well it certainly looks very interesting"

I didn't say anything back, I just changed the subject, but I wish now I had said something clever but not defensive. She really annoyed me. If she didn't like my hair I don't know why she just couldn't have kept quiet about it.

AIBU?

Curiousmama Tue 16-Nov-10 12:40:48

Very rude the cow.

Doigthebountyeater Tue 16-Nov-10 12:42:42

Sounds like she wanted to make you feel bad. You will need to have something evil prepared to say to her the next time you see her. I hate women like that. Grr on your behalf.

StrawberryDawn Tue 16-Nov-10 12:43:53

YANBU

IME interesting, when used like this is just a really passive/aggressive way of being rude and usually delivered in such a way as to leave the recipient of such a "compliment" in no doubt of the person's true feelings.

Frazzledmumwithsmudgedmascara Tue 16-Nov-10 12:44:08

Glad it's not just me thinking she was out of order. I must prepare some witty put-downs to say to her next time. I always end up thinking of them after things have been said.

Frazzledmumwithsmudgedmascara Tue 16-Nov-10 12:45:44

Strawberry, passive aggressive was exactly the thought that came to my mind about her. Then I always think if I answer a passive aggressive person back I look all defensive and then they've achieved what they want.

StrawberryDawn Tue 16-Nov-10 12:46:36

By the way Frazzled, I really hope you didn't take it to heart. Just focus on all the genuine compliments you've received and don't let this one person spoil that for you.

Frazzledmumwithsmudgedmascara Tue 16-Nov-10 12:48:59

Thanks Frazzled. I didn't take it to heart too much as I've had so many nice comments and I've had the wrath of her comments before so I sort of knew that if anyone would say something horrible about it, she would.

Perhaps next time I see her I will say it's very "interesting" how her arse gets fatter each time I see her grin

Frazzledmumwithsmudgedmascara Tue 16-Nov-10 12:49:30

LOL I meant thanks Strawberry not frazzled

Thanking myself is just a tad bizarre

Ooopsadaisy Tue 16-Nov-10 12:55:49

Following a recent row about a new loft ladder with the other half, I had my hair cut drastically (bra strap length to just a couple of inches off my head!!!!!) and almost everyone (except him) has loved it except one person who said "Ooooh, brave choice" and walked away.

I don't care for her opinion anyway as she looks like a bus smash.

I would take "interesting" as a back-handed compliment from someone who hasn't got the nerve to do it themselves.

Frazzledmumwithsmudgedmascara Tue 16-Nov-10 15:38:36

Oooh Oopsadaisy, how bloody rude of them to say "brave choice". I think some people are just nasty and are looking for ways to put others down to make themselves feel better.

Chil1234 Tue 16-Nov-10 15:48:04

Sometimes, let's be honest, 'interesting' or 'unusual' or 'different' is the nicest thing you can say in a situation without being an outright liar. "Your new baby is called what? That's certainly unsual/different/interesting!"

Smirking rather gives the game away though ... Tempting to reply that 'interesting' was just the look you were going for... so much better than 'boring'!

mayorquimby Tue 16-Nov-10 15:52:12

in that situation yes rude because she volunteered her comment. If however you ask someone what they think of your new hair they said that I'd think they were actually being the opposite i.e. trying not to be rude.

Frazzledmumwithsmudgedmascara Tue 16-Nov-10 21:18:10

LOL yes I agree it would be polite of her if I'd asked her for her opinion.

What makes me laugh is I've just had a few highlights put through my long brown hair and had a few layers put in. How she spoke you'd think I'd have had a purple mohican.

MellowToday Tue 16-Nov-10 21:24:30

Next time she cooks for you, take one bite and say 'oh this is interesting' and leave it at that.

knackered76 Tue 16-Nov-10 21:30:49

She is rude. I find when confronted by people like that to take their words in the way you know they didn't mean it. So in your case you could have gone totally over the top on how pleased you are she likes it, etc. She would then have to continue in the way she started and look like an obvious bitch or play along with you . . which would provide amusement for you! Oh and mellowtoday's idea grin

proudfoot Tue 16-Nov-10 21:37:50

Rude! She sounds very insecure if she enjoys making comments like that to try and bring other people down.

narkypuffin Tue 16-Nov-10 21:39:57

Everybody needs a nemesis.

MadamDeathstare Tue 16-Nov-10 21:43:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lazarusb Tue 16-Nov-10 22:14:10

My dad's partner peed himself laughing last time I told him I had just been to the hairdresser and spluttered "Really? You paid for THAT?!".
With a big smile on my face I told him to fuck off.
Seemed to do the trick. grin

AbsofCroissant Tue 16-Nov-10 22:17:59

go to the backhanded compliments thread that was floating around here in AIBU a couple of days ago, and memorise some to give to her next time you see her.
"That dress looks lovely on you, considering your size"
that kind of thing.

thequimreaper Tue 16-Nov-10 22:19:26

She is rude, probably has low self-esteem and thinks you have nicer hair than her. Take it as a compliment.

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