My Db and I have Ds's of a similar age. I went down the EBF route and my DSil chose to formula feed from the start. My DS has put on weight well since birth but has always woken at night for a feed and still needs feeding every 3 hours or so during the day. I'm not thrilled about the broken sleep, but since he's less than 6 months old I'm happy to carry on and hope that once he's weaned and in his own room his sleep will settle down (or will deal with it later if it doesn't!) I've always been supportive of DSIL's choice to FF and have never criticised the decision even though I don't agree with it - her family have a lot of allergies/eczema and I felt that she should at least give the colostrum even if she felt BFing would be difficult and embarrassing. My issue is that they routinely (smugly) comment on my DS's size ("Are you sure he isn't going to be obese?"), or sleeping patterns ("You've made a rod for your own back with him, my DS sleeps from 7 till 6 each day"). I don't want to give the impression that I'm not happy their son sleeps through the night 
, but if I get one more smug crack about how much better FF is I think I might swing for someone! 
AIBU?
to wish my db would zip it?
LifeOfPie · 15/11/2010 13:47
It is. I find the best way is to say things like "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that, would you repeat it please?" or "what are you trying to say to me?" or "that sounded rather insulting, what did you mean?"
or "when I want your opinion I'll, well, I'm never going to want your opinion." 
Hah, I think I will use your last suggestion when I have had my post-christmas dinner Baileys!
Just tell her he sleeps through now. then, don't tell her anything else that she might use to criticise you. It will drive her nuts trying to find something to be superior about
Bloodymary, I do think that part of it is defensiveness as all new mums get the ebf message hammered home by midwives and hvs these days (which is why I didn't want to add my tuppence worth too) BUT that doesn't mean that it's ok to take a pop at ebf! If my only consideration was my own convenience then I would formula feed( one of the things I had to bite my lip not to say!)
Pjmama, I'm trying!
Amuminscotland, I have fond imaginings of letting rip (especially when db asked if ds was going to be obese twice on the same weekend) but I know realistically that won't happen! I'm hoping that once both ds' have grown up a bit it will be blazingly obvious that mine is far superior, thus ending all sniping !
Thank you Malachysmum, I'm nothing if not bloody minded determined!
It is hard, because as a parent you always want to make decisions for your child that you think are the best. So, your DM ff you, and she will have no doubt done that because she thought it was the best thing to do. And the same for your DB and DSIL. Now, you would hope that they could see that you have also made your decision about what you have chosen to do, and just leave it. But I do think that with all the pro-BF information out there, they maybe feel the need to justify their own decisions not to BF? I agree they should go about if differently, and not critise you and your DS, but child-rearing (as you know) is so emotive, and can turn the most laid back person into a competitive nightmare!
Maybe they don't realise by justfying their own decisions, they are critising yours. Maybe something like 'you know when you say things like that, I feel like you are critising me a bit?'. They might not realise.
I had my hairdresser telling me how cruel I was to leave DS starving at 5 months, as she had weaned her sons at 12 weeks and they slept 14 hours a night. She kept saying 'oh the poor little thing, oh he must be starving. Look at him, isn't he small. Oh he must be freezing 
. Poor thing, oh please give him a bottle, it breaks my heart'.
Well done you for maintaining such great weight gain with your DS.
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greyskies - that "proper milk" comment you got has fair riled me
Why oh WHY do people say that?
You don't see anyone looking at puppies feeding and say "oh, you should take those puppies and give them some proper milk" or kittens - when's the last time kittens were taken from the mother and put onto 'proper milk'?
Every other mammal on the planet feeds its own young with its own milk! So why on earth do people think that breast fed babies should have 'proper milk' - THEY ARE HAVING PROPER MILK!!!!!!
Really pisses me off.
I wish I'd been able to breast feed my two for longer. 
If I'd had proper advice and help I might have been able to.
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