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Been offered to rent by fil 4 bed house,but would be nextdoor to them in a separte part of house,and we would have to share garden?

(17 Posts)
goorstay Mon 15-Nov-10 09:29:12

Dp is not keen moving back.,incase it all goes wrong,plus we would have to give our house back to housing.

I admit we would be in their hands,but I look at the other things it could bring,a room for each of our dc's,a better school?.

Or we could wait and buy our house with all these things and stay where we are for the time being,im not sure really.

What do you advise?,as its really playing on my mind and I want to make somewhere our home.

Spinaroo Mon 15-Nov-10 09:30:42

Do you get on with them generally?

Do you already see a lot of them?

sethstarkaddersmum Mon 15-Nov-10 09:32:44

you should read this book first wink

seriously, I would love to live nextdoor to parents or MIL. I am very jealous of a friend who lives next to his parents. But it all depends on what they are like.

goorstay Mon 15-Nov-10 09:33:06

Yes we get on,and we see them 2-3 times a week.

LittleMissHissyFit Mon 15-Nov-10 09:33:28

DP is not keen.

I'd be inclined to take that as enough proof that this is not a great idea.

I love my mother, but chose not to rent in her village as I know we'd be too much in each other's pockets.

BeenBeta Mon 15-Nov-10 09:33:43

I wouldn't. Being beholden to someone is never a good feeling - no matter how well meaning they are.

Presumably your FIL can rent the house out to someone else and put up a fence across the garden?

whoneedssleepanyway Mon 15-Nov-10 09:34:08

Did you watch The Little House on ITV last week.....?

Tidey Mon 15-Nov-10 09:34:15

By 'all goes wrong', does your DH mean you might fall out with his family and have to move back out? Is this likely? Has he had problems with them before?

Tidey Mon 15-Nov-10 09:34:59

Ooops, DP I mean

Squitten Mon 15-Nov-10 09:35:32

I wouldn't do it and I don't get on badly with my ILs. Certainly wouldn't do it with my own parents. It's the kind of situation that can be good when all's well but has the potential to be hideous if it starts to go wrong. If you DH is not keen, that would be warning enough for me!

Spinaroo Mon 15-Nov-10 09:36:00

If it is a shared garden you would need to be sure you would want to use it for the same purpose- Fil's ornamental pond may not go in between goalie posts.

What do you think they would think if you said no?

goorstay Mon 15-Nov-10 09:37:08

No he means I find them intrusive sometimes,and moan at him about it,I could tell them now though if there was a problem.

No I have not seen The Little House,will check it out.

drivinmecrazy Mon 15-Nov-10 09:38:06

We lived next door to my Mum and Dad for many years til my Dad died and my Mum sold up and moved permanently into their home in Spain.
It was fantastic and I miss it incredibly. We had very clear guidlines in place which meant we all kept our privacy. Was fantastic for the children who would wander between the two houses, but always maintained our own lives.
Friends thought it meant we had a babysitting service permanently on hand but this wasn't true. Probably relied more on MIL who lives 100 miles away much of the time because my parents had a very active life and were often abroad or doing their own things.
Only down side were the arguments you couldn't keep quiet would be interupted by my Mum on the phone reminding me they could hear much of it blush

goorstay Mon 15-Nov-10 09:39:04

They have said they would not take offense if we said no,they would move on and it would be forgotten.

I have to respect dp really,although he said he will review again done the line,but for the moment he is happy here.

FakePlasticTrees Mon 15-Nov-10 09:41:02

They are your DP's parents and he knows them far better than you ever will. If he is reluctant, I wouldn't consider it. If he can see it going wrong, then it probably will.

goorstay Mon 15-Nov-10 09:42:14

The shared garen may be a problem as I can not see into the garden if we moved there.

I would ave to be out there with them,here we dont need to worry as I can see them.

2rebecca Mon 15-Nov-10 11:42:01

If your partner isn't keen then don't go. I love my dad but wouldn't want to live next door to him. You are never really allowed to be an adult with your parents.
I'd rather have less physical space and more emotional freedom than the other way round.

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