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to not want to go wedding dress shopping with my sister?

(53 Posts)
Astronaut79 Sat 13-Nov-10 12:13:01

Ok, the facts:
*Work full time so only see Pfb evenigns and weekends.

*Sister getting married next year and doing the full hit. She knows mum and me aren't really in to big weddings (I had a secret wedding)and I think she's a bit disappointed that we aren't sharing every last detail.

*Sister text me yesterday to ask if I'd go and look at some dresses in a shop about an hour's drive away. I don't want to go because it would mean a day (effectively) where I wouldn't see Pfb and the knock on effect would be that I'd have to do usual weekend stuff (chores, work) the next day thus missing child again.

*Still haven't replied. Help!

fruitstick Sat 13-Nov-10 12:15:00

Yanu. Stop being do miserable.

There will be other days with your baby. It's important to her, doesn't matter that it wasn't important to you.

iamamug Sat 13-Nov-10 12:15:44

Just tell her you're busy and can't make it - don't feel guilty about it it's your weekend.

fruitstick Sat 13-Nov-10 12:15:54

Sorry. Bad predictive text.

In short yabu.

LadyViper Sat 13-Nov-10 12:18:24

Look at it the other way round:

Hello, AIBU? I am having a big wedding next year, which I am really excited about. My parents are not into big weddings so I can't talk to them about it as they are no interestested and probably wish I would have a secret wedding like my sister. I really want someone to share the details with and get excited with me and asked my sister to come wedding dress shopping with me. It is only one day and would mean the world to me, but she said no because she won't see her new baby and won't be able to do her housework.

If I was your sister I would be really disappointed that you didn't want to go dress shopping.

I can understand that you want to be with your baby, but your sister will never go wedding dress shopping ever again!!

Any other event and I would say they can wait, but wedding dress shopping is once in a lifetime!

Why not take baby with you?

chocoholic Sat 13-Nov-10 12:21:05

YABU, it's only 1 day!

sayithowitis Sat 13-Nov-10 12:27:45

YABU. She's your sister. She thinks enough of you to ask for your support and input into what is clearly a very important event for her. I understand that you had a secret wedding. Your attitude to her request is that you are somehow looking down on her 'full hit'. A big wedding is not to everyone's taste. But neither is a secret wedding. As for the chores, why can't your DH help out? If something comes up for us at the weekend, chores just get done later. As for your pfb, do you really spend every waking moment at the weekend with him/her? It is one day. One day, which in the babyhood of your child is a drop in the ocean, whilst for your sister and her wedding, it is a big deal. Is it really worth sending your sister the message that her wedding, and her, are unimportant to you? Is it worth all the upset that could potentially be caused? If so, then carry on as you are. If not, then why not go and have a day with your sister? Your pfb will survive a day without you. Your relationship with your sister may not.

DandyLioness Sat 13-Nov-10 12:28:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cumbria81 Sat 13-Nov-10 12:31:18


This is your sister. She wants you to share in her happiness at getting married.

I hate shopping but would happily do this for my sister.

Don't be such a misery guts.

huddspur Sat 13-Nov-10 12:37:55

YABU your sister wants you to help her pick a wedding dress so why wouldn't you.

AlistairSim Sat 13-Nov-10 12:40:16


Your poor sister.

It's not such a huge ask.

bigchris Sat 13-Nov-10 12:40:25

take the baby with you, go for lunch afterwards
leave dh/ dp with the chores
read your op again, you do sound a bit dull , sorry - when you're old and grey you'll remember days like this with your sister , you won't remember dusting and hoovering all day

Mumcentreplus Sat 13-Nov-10 12:41:57

Ha!...get off ya jaxy and text back that you would love to...<tut>

bigchris Sat 13-Nov-10 12:42:20

You sound a bit consumed with the baby - are you finding going back to work full time a struggle? If you're feeling low and down maybe suggest that she goes with her best friend or your mum? Is your baby's dad doing his fair share ?

DandyLioness Sat 13-Nov-10 12:43:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yama Sat 13-Nov-10 12:44:52

Just dont do the chores on Sunday.

bobblemeat Sat 13-Nov-10 12:45:07


Its one shop an hour away. You will probably only be out of the house about 4-5 hours if you include getting a coffee together. You will still be at home most of the weekend and for a significant number of pfbs waking hours. Fair enough if you couldn't go because of a previous engagement but not because you want to do housework instead.

MrsVincentPrice Sat 13-Nov-10 12:45:20

YABU, your baby and the housework will still be there tomorrow.

pozzled Sat 13-Nov-10 12:45:45

YABU, I don't think it's too much to ask to spend a day with your sister when she is feeling so excited about your wedding. How old is your pfb? How necessary are the chores etc that you will now have to do on Sunday- do you have a partner who could help out with these? Could you take pfb with you shopping as bigchris says?

whoneedssleepanyway Sat 13-Nov-10 12:45:53


I took DD2 who was newborn with me to go wedding dress shopping with my sister, it was fine. She's your sister are you not the tiniest bit excited for her?

bigchris Sat 13-Nov-10 12:46:15

Well one of the reasons for not going is missing the baby because she dorsnt see it all week

LoveMyGirls Sat 13-Nov-10 12:47:24

I'd be totally gutted if you were my sister, when I got engaged my sister came with me about 2 days later to look at dresses.

When my sister gets married I will want to go dress shopping with her.

vanitypear Sat 13-Nov-10 12:48:48

Do you have a bad relationship with your sister? As I am quite shocked by this. If not, and it is as bland as your OP suggests, you are really not coming across well. You sound like you have issues (a tad jealous perhaps). "Mum and I are not into big weddings" - honestly - weddings are weddings and you should be there supporting your sister throughout the process.

DandyLioness Sat 13-Nov-10 12:51:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Northernlurker Sat 13-Nov-10 12:53:11

I think you are being very selfish.

I would love to go looking at weddingn dresses with my sister. She is getting married in two week time but is wearing a simple jacket and trousers because it is a very short and simple wedding. It's like that because bil has inoperable lung cancer than has spread very badly. They are getting married as soon as possible because they don't know how long he has.
Your sister has asked for a small amount of your time as a way of showing your support and help at a really exciting and happy time for her. Get off you arse and help her and be bloody grateful that you can do that! I am really infuriated by your post!

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