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Upsetting but please read and support if you can

(224 Posts)
disgustedbythisman Fri 12-Nov-10 16:15:57

While idling around on barking American websites laughing at "fundies" (provoked by the thread about bates/duggars on here), I found out to my horror that one of the craziest and most destructive of "Christian" parenting gurus has been giving seminars to UK parents via a network of sister churches which has branches in several nations

his name is Tedd Tripp and he advocates the most heartbreakingly cruel and abusive punishment and humiliation of children right from tiny babyhood sadsad

I am angry that this man can be thrown up at UK parents as an example and as someone to emulate. I realise it is probably pointless but I felt I had to do something, so I have emailed the church in bristol that had him last year, and cc'd it to the sister church in noth carolina where he is speaking this year

I would go along and egg the bastard, but I can't afford the air fare wink

Here is my email, if you would like to could you add your own voice of protest? I don't want this filth in the UK or anywhere near children.

Dear Sir/Madam

I write with reference to the planned ?Tedd Tripp Seminar? of 12-13th November in Apex North Carolina, hosted by your sister church, and also to the seminar hosted by you on Saturday 21st March 2009 (as detailed on your weblog).

I note with great consternation that during these seminars Pastor Tripp is afforded the opportunity to address parents and parishioners in respect of his views regarding Biblical child-rearing. As I am sure you are aware, Pastor Tripp's infamous book "Shepherding A Child's Heart" is a controversial work which advocates practices many, even among American fundamentalist Christian groups, regard as extremely destructive, abusive and cruel. Pastor Tripp openly champions the use of humiliating, severe and repeated punishment even of very young infants. To illustrate his well-known advice to parents of young children, here are a few titbits from his aforementioned book:

Page 105 "The child is a sinner. There are things within the heart of the sweetest little baby that, allowed to blossom and grow to fruition, will bring about eventual destruction. The rod functions in this context."

Page 106: "The spanking process drives foolishness from the heart of a child. Confrontation with the immediate and undeniably tactile sensation of a spanking renders an implacable child sweet."

Page 154: "When your child is old enough to resist your directives, he is old enough to be disciplined. Rebellion can be something as simple as an infant struggling against a diaper change or stiffening out his body when you want him to sit on your lap."

If you have read and considered Pastor Tripp's writings and are still prepared to defend his links with your church and allow his attitudes to influence the families of your congregation I would be very interested to receive an explanation of your reasoning.

I wonder also whether you are aware of the law in the United Kingdom which states that hitting a child is a common assault, and that the statutory defence of ?reasonable punishment? does not and will not apply in cases where the child has been left with marks or bruises, as detailed on the Children's Legal Centre website:

"physical punishment will be considered "unreasonable" if it leaves a mark on the child or if the child is hit with an implement such as a cane or a belt." (Section 58 of the Children Act 2004)

In recent years there have been several high-profile cases in this country of children being removed from their parents? care and of parents being prosecuted for using disciplinary methods far less draconian and violent than those recommended by Pastor Tripp in his book.

It is my view that your hosting of last year's seminar, and of your continued links with his ministry, constitute an effective incitement to parents and carers to break UK law in the name of their Christian beliefs. The information on your weblog alone is sufficient to lead British families towards this toxic and abusive philosophy. I suggest that this is unacceptable and would urge you in the strongest terms to reconsider your position and sever your affiliation to Pastor Tripp and his organisation.

Yours faithfully

Mrs disgustedbythisman

SparklyJules Fri 12-Nov-10 16:25:33

I am shocked. Your letter is very good. I've never heard of this man but he sounds dangerous from what you have described.

hairytriangle Fri 12-Nov-10 16:27:31

Hideous good for you for writing.

disgustedbythisman Fri 12-Nov-10 16:28:34

thanks

I am so angry, how DARE they import this fruitcake and have his shit all over their blog for vulnerable struggling parents to fall into angry

sarah293 Fri 12-Nov-10 16:32:35

Message withdrawn

disgustedbythisman Fri 12-Nov-10 16:34:49

Grace Church

member of the Sovereign Grace Church, based in the states

disgustedbythisman Fri 12-Nov-10 16:43:37

bump

disgustedbythisman Fri 12-Nov-10 16:50:15

again

HecateQueenOfWitches Fri 12-Nov-10 16:52:17

good for you. it is important to challenge things like this. make them justify their decision.

I would be interested to know their reply to you. will you post it?

LoopyLoops Fri 12-Nov-10 16:52:32

(from www.webofnarcissism.com/forums/index.php/topic,765 4.0.html

p.151 Tripp describes the whipping procedure: take the child to a private place (so nobody can stop the abuse), make the child confess, tell the child “how many swats he will receive”, put the child over your lap (as Tripp says, to “put the spanking in the context of your physical relationship” (!!)), pull the child’s diapers or “drawers” down and whip them. Then pull the child up and show affection.

p.152 If the child is angry about being whipped, then “the discipline session is not over” and Tripp says to whip them some more until they are “sweet”.

p.153 “Because you are dealing with young children, there is a heavy emphasis on the undeniably tactile experience of spanking.”

p.154 “When your child is old enough to resist your directives, he is old enough to be disciplined. Rebellion can be something as simple as an infant struggling against a diaper change or stiffening out his body when you want him to sit on your lap. When our oldest child was approximately 8 months old, we were confronted with parenting our first mobile child. We had a bookshelf constructed of boards and bricks. Fearing the shelf would fall on him, Margy told him not to pull himself up by the shelf. After moving him away from the shelf, she left the room. As she peeked in on him, she observed him surveying the room. Not seeing her, he headed back toward the forbidden bookshelf. Here was a young child, not yet able to walk or to talk, looking to see if the coast was clear so he could disobey. Obviously, he was old enough to be disciplined.”

disgustedbythisman Fri 12-Nov-10 16:52:42

I most certainly will!

HecateQueenOfWitches Fri 12-Nov-10 16:53:35

sounds to me like this man rather enjoys the idea of spanking children.

Ormirian Fri 12-Nov-10 16:54:41

"p.152 If the child is angry about being whipped, then “the discipline session is not over” and Tripp says to whip them some more until they are “sweet”.
"

OMG!

disgustedbythisman Fri 12-Nov-10 16:56:01

quite

and he has given seminars in the UK on more than one occasion - last year in Bristol, previously in Bath

and the notes etc from his last visit are available to parishioners on the church's blog - they are totally unabashed about it

the irresponsible, deranged bastards angry

disgustedbythisman Fri 12-Nov-10 16:57:45

I wasn't sure whether I was being daft writing to the church about this, that's why I came to MN, because I could be sure of a "you pillock" response if appropriate!

but if you lot agree, I am thinking of devoting some of my time this weekend to writing to ALL his planned venues, ccing as many ministers and children's charities etc as I can

I really am furious

whoknowswhatthefutureholds Fri 12-Nov-10 16:57:55

an 8 month old sad angry fucker

whoknowswhatthefutureholds Fri 12-Nov-10 16:59:50

I would go nthe locak press in each of the areas he is planning to visit .

any in manchester?

SantasMooningArse Fri 12-Nov-10 17:01:41

That's pretty awful stuff! I eman what 8 month old child would understand such a directive?

I hope they reply and good on you for writing.

perfumedlife Fri 12-Nov-10 17:07:59

Good god shock

Rollmops Fri 12-Nov-10 18:12:40

Vile manangry
Please let us know if there is a reply.

NinkyNonker Fri 12-Nov-10 19:02:18

The reviews of his book worry me, poor babies.

here

racmac Fri 12-Nov-10 19:03:15

good god -i second contacting local press
angrysad

mazfah Fri 12-Nov-10 19:11:22

I feel sick. Well done you. Would you mind if I took the relevant quotations from your email and used them too to email? Or do you think that would make them think we were spamming?

Oh fuck. I could cry.

EsioTrot Fri 12-Nov-10 19:12:04

This is simply appalling. Well done for contacting the church.

OnceandFutureQueen Fri 12-Nov-10 19:14:19

good for you. My memories of being spanked as a child are still vivid. It's something I greatly resent about my childhood.

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