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Party Invitation Ettiquette?

(12 Posts)
SalaDo Thu 11-Nov-10 11:12:24

Hi There

Just looking for someone to give me some advice as I'm totally clueless!!

My daughter will be 5 on 01/01 so having a family party for her on the day and a soft play party on the 4th Jan.

She wants to invite her school friends but these change almost daily! One day shes friends with someone, next day shes not. Do I just invite most all from her class that she gets on with?

Also what happens regarding older siblings? We walk to school as part of a large group of parents/children but a lot are older but we will be inviting the kids my DD's age. Do I just not invite the older kids? This may mean that some of her friends can't come due to issues with care for older kids!

Think I'm just over thinking it but my DD has had a bit of a hard time and school and just want everything to go smoothly . . Plus I'll be 38weeks preg at the time so trying to get prepared early.

Thanks for any help

elphabadefiesgravity Thu 11-Nov-10 11:24:01

Choose a number that the soft play can accommodate/you are prepared to pay for. As long as you are not excluding only a couple of children from her class or inviting all bar one of the girls any number which suits you is fine.

You don't have to invite older siblings, it should be for your daughter's friends only. If it is a public soft play then parents are free to pay for their older child to enter if they want to (but they won't get food) however this doesn't apply if you are having exclusive hire.

Don't worry about some not being able to come if you don;t invite siblings. I have two children and have either dropped and left the invited child then taken the uninvited one elsewhere for that time or paid for the uninvited child to play. (Make sure you get emergency mobile numbers for dop offs though.

2rebecca Thu 11-Nov-10 11:24:07

I never had parties before the kids were of an age to come on their own and stay without a parent. Having said that most 5 year oldes were left at parties in our area, after all they get left by parents during the day at school. Some areas seem more protective of 5-7 year olds with parents expecting/ being expected to hang around.
I have never invited siblings unless they were friends of my kids.
I've usually gone for 5-8 kids invited, unless the whole class was invited, had 1 bouncy castle all class party, not a good idea as spent alot of time stopping one of the "naughty" boys from pissing about.

SalaDo Thu 11-Nov-10 11:33:02

DD is wanting to exclude one kid especially . . To be fair he is the reason that shes had a hard time but her class is only small so it is feasible that I would invite all the others but this one kid.

He's a real nightmare (Which is what her teacher told me) and has already been excluded from class and is a nasty bully (well as much as a 4/5yo can be)

Is it awful to just not invite him? when everyone else could potentially be invited?

elphabadefiesgravity Thu 11-Nov-10 11:34:20

Yes that is awful, you can't just not invite one. How small is small. Can she invite all the girls instead.

SalaDo Thu 11-Nov-10 11:36:00

Her bestfriends are 2 boys from the class so couldnt just invite girls

yama Thu 11-Nov-10 11:40:12

Salado - invite him. He probably wont come.

Dd was 5 recently and I invited the whole of dd's class. The boy who had hit, pushed and bitten her did not come. If he had, I was prepared to be very nice to his parent/s.

Remember, a percentage will not be able to come so numbers shouldn't be too high.

ZombiePlan Thu 11-Nov-10 11:41:54

Actually, I think if your DD has been bullied by a child, it's ok to leave him out. Your DD should not have to tolerate a bully at her birthday party. I would explain to the parents why he hadn't been invited (so they are clear as to why he wasn't invited and don't just put it down to being snubbed). However, I would only do this however if I felt the bullying was sufficiently serious (and not just normal childhood falling out/unpleasantness).

2rebecca Thu 11-Nov-10 11:43:39

When I was 5 I would rather not have had a party than have to invite someone who bullied me. I agree excluding 1 child isn't fair, but if he really bullies your daughter I'd be inclined to invite half the class rather than insist he comes.

2shoes Thu 11-Nov-10 11:44:16

just don't invite the bully

Goingspare Thu 11-Nov-10 11:46:50

And don't assume that some children won't come, I've fallen for that one before... Don't invite any more than you can manage.

SalaDo Thu 11-Nov-10 11:50:48

Not sure he'll come as they are a traveling family that dip in and out of school. His parents are VERY rough and unapproachable. Hoping he may be off and traveling by then [guilty face]

I do think she would rather not have a party than have him there. Gah! How can a 5yo's party be a minefield lol!

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