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to think my sister is using us as a dosshouse

(4 Posts)
notacluebutlearning Thu 11-Nov-10 09:47:43

First-timer here.

Soo, my sister lives overseas and is coming over tomorrow morning and staying til Tuesday, they're then off to stay with her new DP's parents til the end of the week.

Was hoping to spend some quality time with her and new DP and me, DH and DS1 and DS2. Just received a text that they're out on Friday night, Saturday day, Saturday night and off to see my family who live a couple of hours drive away on Sunday.

I've known about Sunday so fair enough (we can't go as I've got a thing on Sunday for 3 hrs I can't get out of) and so assumed we'd spend Saturday together out with the boys etc. Looks like now I'll see her on Monday and Tuesday (without her DP and my DH).

Just really upset - she did text me about Fri and Sat night but its impossible for us to get a babysitter especially as DS2 is still 6 months.

AIBU - do I need to chill out and tell her everything is fine - just had a short conversation with her and told her I was upset.

Longtalljosie Thu 11-Nov-10 10:01:23

YABU. It's not her fault that you can't get out of the thing on Sunday (really? Are you performing bypass surgery? Your sister is here from overseas, surely you can rearrange?) or that you can't get a babysitter Friday and Saturday (again, really? sitters.co.uk will get you one by the end of the day). She will have a lot of people to cram in that she wants to see and she is staying with you so she will see a lot of you.

And besides - you're family. You shouldn't have to stand on ceremony. And now you've just made things awkward for yourself.

badfairy Thu 11-Nov-10 10:10:11

YANBU to feel upset but I can see why she wants to pack everything in as she lives abroad and has DP's family to fit in too. I've always found the babysitter thing hard ( only like to leave DS's with people they know) but I think if you can't find a way round it then you might have to just accept the way things are this time.

notacluebutlearning Thu 11-Nov-10 10:17:53

OK - I don't really want to get into the thing on Sunday but it includes a visit with a Bishop so can't really rearrange that and its something that I've been going to classes for the last 6 weeks. My sister only told us she was coming a few weeks back right at the last minute after I was booked on my Sunday course.

I know she wants to do the DP family thing which I completely understand and have no problems with but just feel that when she is with her family, they are out with DP's friends rather than with her family.

I've never even thought about using a babysitter agency - I just don't think I could enjoy my evening out especially as DS1 is full of a horrid cold, as am I, maybe this is why I'm upset. Maybe if I didn't have the baby as well I'd think about using an agency.

Guess I should just arrange a lovely meal at home with them both and husband on the Monday night so that we can get to meet her new DP properly.

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