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For not really wanting to see my SIL over Xmas

(9 Posts)
VivaLeBeaver Wed 10-Nov-10 18:02:52

We're not overly close and DH isn't that close to her either (his sister) but our kids are similar ages and we try and see each other 2 or 3 times a year. Kids all like seeing each other. She lives 2 hours away.

I normally work Xmas Day or Boxing Day but this year have both days off. But I don't have any a/l over Xmas or NY so will be working full time. Not allowed a/l.

So we're going to see MIL on Boxing Day. She's delighted. SIL says she can't make it that day as her step sons always come over on Boxing Day and will be terhe all day. She's rung and left a message saying about her coming to see us one other day.

I probably am being a miserable humbug Scrooge but am stressed out about having no time to relax, etc over Xmas. I'm not going to see either of my (divorced) parents or my brother over Xmas. I won't see my brother at all but need to sort out days to see my mum and my dad (seperate days). Although my dad may come Xmas Day, he's waiting to see if he gets a better offer before accapting!

I just want one day with no visitors and no visitng where I can slump infron of the TV with a massive box of chocolates and get pissed. If I say yes to her coming then this is unlikely to happen. We did see SIL the other week so its not like its been ages.


VivaLeBeaver Wed 10-Nov-10 18:05:45

Oh and DH isn't bothered about seeing her.

ANTagony Wed 10-Nov-10 18:07:44


You need to look out for yourself. How about making an alternative suggestion for half term or even a day end of Jan when theres nothing else going on. If you get in first with an alternative plan you may be able to avoid any nastiness. It might be worth working out how to exchange gifts without that being a pressure for having to get together i.e. can you leave them on boxing day with MIL?

carolondon Wed 10-Nov-10 18:08:48

Just tell her that you would love to see her but unfortunately you have to work full time and suggest a date in jan/feb to get together instead.

happycamel Wed 10-Nov-10 18:13:34

YANBU - you need one day off to relax if you're working flat out the rest of the time.

Could you arrange another date either before or after Christmas (before might better so you can swap pressies). Could you meet up for a Christmas activity day out (steam railway for santa special/zoo/shops with santa's grotto). So you don't have to host and can split the journey.

If the boys get on well its probably not worth starting a fight/sulk over.

I feel your pain, I've got to stay with SIL before Christmas. I'll be nearly 7 months pregnant. She can't possibly travel with her two children (aged 12 and 7!!!!) I know this won't change when we have dc either. Will be expected to drive 100 miles 14 days after giving birth to have baby inspected, any longer and I'll never be forgiven for neglecting the in laws!

tittybangbang Wed 10-Nov-10 18:23:59

YANBU - not at all.

But then I may be projecting - my SIL (db's wife) is a poisonous cow and I'd do anything to avoid sitting in the same room as her, especially over Christmas.

This year I plan to get drunk and be rude to her.

I'm in training already. <rattles the ice in her G&T> grin

wishiwas21again Wed 10-Nov-10 18:28:12

LOL tittybangbang. You should write a book about how to deal with poisonous relatives, you would make a fortune grin

YANBU OP, everyone before me has explained why.

onceamai Wed 10-Nov-10 20:34:19

YANBU. Tell the truth and arrange another date.

VivaLeBeaver Thu 11-Nov-10 08:10:43

Wow, everyone agrees! Great. I've emailed her and don't feel as bad now as what I did do. grin

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