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to think the following should NOT happen in a job interview?

(45 Posts)
ZivaDavid Tue 09-Nov-10 18:22:09

I'm not a newcomer or a lurker (grin), I am more or less a daily poster, just NCed for the purposes of this post.

I had a job interview yesterday and the main interviewer gave me the creeps a bit. When he collected me from the reception area to take me to where the interview was taking place, he put his hand on my back and guided me through the corridors. It made me a bit uncomfortable that he was touching me (it wasn't a long corridor, and I was quite capable of following or being directed, he kept his hand on me almost the whole way), but it wasn't that alone that made me a bit hmm at the whole thing.

In the interview, comments were made about children and working mothers (can't remember the exact wording, but it was enough to make any mother or expectant mother flinch, as if they were discriminatory without saying it explicitely if that makes sense). I think I must have been visibly perturbed, as the woman on the interview panel quickly changed the subject.

The rest of the interview went as standard, but the guy with the hand just called me for a follow up chat (didn't know they did this, is that standard?) and was just....weird. He made more comments about how I looked yesterday (saying I looked nice and my perfume was nice etc) than how the interview went. Then he said something like "I really hope to be speaking to you soon", which emphasis on the 'really'. It felt 'off'. Maybe he was just trying to be friendly, but it seemed flirty. You know how you always think you don't know where the line is between things (in this case, friendly vs flirty) but you know when it's been crossed? That's what this felt like.

Am I being too sensitive? Would I be mad to take this job, even if it was offered to me? If you think I'm being a twat, feel free to tell me!

needafootmassage Tue 09-Nov-10 18:24:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SheWillBeLoved Tue 09-Nov-10 18:24:51

It is weird, he has no place touching you for so long, commenting on your appearance and perfume. Follow up chats - I've never had one. The only chats after an interview were formal ones to accept or decline a job offer.

Personally I'd keep looking.

ModreB Tue 09-Nov-10 18:25:25

Will you be working directly with this man? If so, I would run a mile and complain to HR about him.

FernieB Tue 09-Nov-10 18:25:28

Do you really want the job? Go with your gut instincts. I once had an interview with a really creepy guy like that, only it was just me and him in the room and he made me feel very uncomfortable. I reported him to the agency which had sent me for the interview (other people had complained) and they blacklisted the company and refused to act for them again.

happycamel Tue 09-Nov-10 18:26:24

Ummm, does all sound a bit odd tbh. Would this guy be your manager? If so, unless you're desperate for the money, better of without it I'd say.

If the guy makes you feel uncomfortable in an hour (regardless of his intentions) then you probably won't enjoy spending 40 odd hours a week with him.

catinthehat2 Tue 09-Nov-10 18:26:56

No. My creep radar would have gone to condition red also I'm afraid.
Is he HR (ie never see him again) - in which case OK?
Or putative new boss (ie have him squeezing your breasts every day) - in which case run for the hills?

phipps Tue 09-Nov-10 18:28:49


You need to inform the agency.

Would you take the job if offered?

parakeet Tue 09-Nov-10 18:29:48

If it were my dream job and he would NOT be my line manager I think I would still take it though.

Once you were past your probationary period you could make it quite clear you're not having any of it.

alarkaspree Tue 09-Nov-10 18:32:12

Agree with everyone else, if he would be your line manager or working with you in any way for god's sake don't take this job.

It sounds like he is testing you, and if you take a job with him you would be sending the message that it's okay to treat you like that. And it would be a nightmare.

ZivaDavid Tue 09-Nov-10 18:32:20

He would be the line manager, yes. I was thinking about how I'm not sure I would feel comfortable working for him even before the phone call. I'm not sure how directly I would be working with him (it's quite a big office from what I saw) but I would be answerable to him ultimately.

I assumed he was calling to give me the outcome of the interview, but there was no mention of this, he was the one that called it a follow up chat.

My gut is telling me to not accept the job even if I am offered it. I can't report him to an agency, could I mention my concerns to the HR and have it be anonymous? I don't want comeback on the issue, as obviously he knows all my personal and contact details.

Thanks for replies.

phipps Tue 09-Nov-10 18:34:09

You must report him and there won't be any come back as you will have the law on your side should he take revenge.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Tue 09-Nov-10 18:39:10

What Phipps said. That is on the border of sex discrimination.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Tue 09-Nov-10 18:44:28

If it was the best job ever, I would be tempted to take it, and then deal with things with HR as and when they come up at work. That way you might get a great job and he might get disciplined or sacked?

Only if I were sure I would be personally safe (e.g. not night work with him alone) though.

Rubbish that you might have to give up job opportunity because he is a creepy fuck.

Limez Tue 09-Nov-10 18:54:16

If I really wanted the job I'd take it. As elepahnts said, you can deal with Mr Creep as and when.

alarkaspree Tue 09-Nov-10 18:55:39

If you really want the job I would take up your issues with HR about the interview now. Can you contact directly the woman who was involved? She probably already has her own concerns.

ZivaDavid Tue 09-Nov-10 18:57:40

It's not the best job in the world, but it is related to what I want to do long term, so it would've been a foot in the door I suppose. I might possibly be out of a job where I am currently (redundancies happening across the board at the moment) or I would probably be finding it easier to write off this as a lost cause.

I don't know how directly I would be working with him yet, or whether it would be safe. I wish I could tell, it would make the decision easier.

The more I think about this, the more I think I'm right to trust my instincts and not go for this job if it's offered....

If I report, how should I do it? Write a letter? Or phone and speak to HR?

ZivaDavid Tue 09-Nov-10 18:59:20

I could contact the woman, I know her name and could easily find out her contact details....would that be the best way to go, do you think?

runmeragged Tue 09-Nov-10 18:59:39

Personally I would run a mile.

It would be why the job is vacant.

runmeragged Tue 09-Nov-10 19:00:07

I meant that it might be why the job is vacant.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Tue 09-Nov-10 19:01:30

I don't think it's necessarily a choice between reporting him and the job. I think you should contact the HR people, say how much you liked interview, want to work for company etc etc but mention your concerns about the process. Eg. I didn't think it was usual for the interviewer to raise employees marital / children status, to physically touch them and to telephone them privately?

AnnieLobeseder Tue 09-Nov-10 19:13:42

I think you should make a report before you hear if you're offered the job, if you don't think you want it anyway. Otherwise, if you don't get the job, they might think your complaint is just sour grapes.

It's a bit trickier if you do want the job, though.

Tough situation!

classydiva Tue 09-Nov-10 19:15:24

I got to how your perfume smelt nice in your OP then thought this guy is a predator.

Report him to their Human Resources department or personnel. Please don't take a job there, sounds horrendous.

Far too familiar.

Piffpaffpoff Tue 09-Nov-10 19:22:50

Run a mile! Trust your gut instinct every time - I took a job despite having grave concerns about the interviewer who was the line manager. It all went totally pear shaped and I so wished I had had the confidence to trust my instinct. There will be other jobs, but the day to day grind of working with someone you will come to loathe is just not worth the misery.

DuelingFanjo Tue 09-Nov-10 19:23:40

What kinds of comments did he make about working mums and in what context. Are you one/going to be one?

you can ask to see what notes were taken in the interview by the way, so I have been told.

Personally I would maybe wait and then call the woman who interviewed you and mention that the guy called you but hadn't said when you should expect to hear from them and so could she clarify.

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