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To want to take time off work because of morning sickness?

(4 Posts)
Pesha Tue 09-Nov-10 14:35:46

Am 6 weeks pg with 4th child. Morning sickness is kicking in well now and so far I'm being sick in the mornings and then feeling on the verge of being sick all day, constantly running to the toilet thinking I will be sick but nothing gets any further then half way up where it just sits and burns. I am miserable, irritable and totally lacking in patience. In pg2 my sickness was bad but bearable, in #1 and #3 it was awful, particularly #3 where I felt like this from 7wks to about 12wks (I think) and then it died down although I continued being sick most mornings through all 3 pgs but again this was bearable, its just the 1st trimester that was awful. And this time its started earlier than ever before which can't be good!
I am a childminder and at the moment I'm struggling on but I don't want to!! I am not the best childminder I could be, I am tired and miserable and fed up and very short on patience although managing not to take it out on the mindees but I cant say the same for my dc and dp. Day times and mornings are not too bad as I don't have many children (only work full days twice a week as have existing as yet undiagnosed health problems that mean I have already reduced my hours a lot) but after school I have quite a lot of children, all loud, boisterous, excitable and argumentative and I cannot cope with that on top of this and TBH I don't want to have to cope with it when I feel like shit. And obviously I can't pick and choose which children I mind so its all or nothing.
But on the other hand I know how much the parents rely on me and how much trouble it will cause them if I'm off sick. Theres no reason really why I can't work, its not tumy bug sickness that could be passed on and getting pg is something I've chosen to do. Its gonna cause them enough trouble later on when I go on Mat leave and they have to sort someone else out. Plus with my health problems and as I had SPD in my last pg the chances of me working at the end are quite slim too. I really hate letting the parents down as they are all really lovely and are stuck without me and actually the children are all lovely too and I don't like to let them down either and mess up their routines.

So should I just suck it up and get on with it, I feel like I should and just force myself to push on with it. Obviously if it gets really, really bad (which it did around 10 wks last time) then I may have to concede and have a week off but while its just quite bad I feel it would be pretty bad of me to take time off.
On the other hand as I said I'm not being great with the mindees, I'm not snapping at them or anything but I'm not as involved as I should be, I'm not doing all sorts of activities or things with them and I'm not keeping up with my observations and planning. And I am snapping at my own children, I was pretty horrible to my dd this morning for nothing in particular, I'm miserable and I'm not doing any housework at all as all my available energy is going into work so my personal life and family are also suffering a bit.
I think its quite clear I want to stop work while I feel like this, I just read my post back and it comes across as I want people to tell me I should stop, but I also really feel like I shouldn't stop and it'd make me a bit of a cop out and an unreliable, unprofessional childminder and I genuinely don't know if thats me pushing myself too much again and beating myself up unnecessarily or if thats me being professional and responsible and doing the right thing.

Which is it, what should I do?! confused

bigchris Tue 09-Nov-10 14:39:44

Could you give notice? Are you planning on cm'ing after this baby
I would tell the parents
it's not really fair on the mindees and your employers have a right to decide for themselves what to doiyswim

Pesha Tue 09-Nov-10 18:19:12

Hi bigchris, yes I do plan on continuing cm'ing after this one, I have to for income and when fit and healthy I do really enjoy my job and I would like to continue to work through my pregnancy as much as possible just not for this horrible bit!!
I will tell the parents but I was hoping to have come to a decision first so I could say either I'm pg and sick so can't have them for few wks or I'm pg and sick but willing to keep having your dc if you still want me to even though I may not be up to doing quite as much with them as I normally would. I'm pretty certain that if given the choice all the parents would rather send their children than have to sort something else out or have time off work and I don't want to give them that option and then a couple days later turn round and say actually I can't keep having them after all, I want to be certain of what I'm able to do before I talk to them iyswim.

theITgirl Tue 09-Nov-10 18:35:24

I am going to be flamed for this but this is my honest opinion. I don't have a cm at the moment but have in the past and probably looking again soon.

If you take too much time off now at the beginning of your pregnancy, parents will start to look elsewhere. If only to keep their options open. You have many more months to go and then some sort of maternity leave and no guarantee that you will want to continue as a cm after that.
Obvoiusly your health comes first. But parents will also worry about keeping their jobs if the have to cover for your sickness as well as their own and their childrens.

Personally I would be much happier with agreeing to more TV time especially over the next couple of weeks. The weather being to horrible at this time of year should work in your favour.

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