to not want DH to refer to our children as...

[roundwindow]

... 'little s*ts'?

He's generally a great Dad and has alot on his plate with work etc. Also I must stress that he never says it to their faces and they are always out of earshot when he says it to me.

What happens is DH gets understandably very frustrated sometimes with our very boistrous, loud, demanding, fighting DSs (3 and 6) one of whom has SN. He says he feels desperate and just needs to sound off to me as the only one who understands. I do appreciate this but I've asked him to stop at this choice of words as I find it really upsetting to hear that said about about my beloved DCs. He says he sticks up for them to everyone else and to me he just needs to let off steam and he feels hurt that I won't let him.

Genuinely unsure if IABU and a bit too prissy and precious. What do you reckon?

[MmeLindt]

Would it be better if it were a different word? Little monsters - sound a bit more affectionate.

Tbh, if he does not show it to others or the the dc, the I think YABU but perhaps he needs to work on finding a stress outlet that doesn't upset you.

[Chil1234]

Plenty of people have out-of-earshot private nicknames for their kids... 'anklebiters','monsters','horrors'. I'd be about an actual expletive but maybe he can think of a different word that would do the same job?

[Vallhala]

Prissy and precious.

Your children are clearly loved, their dad cares for them and doesn't swear at or to them. Their father is letting off steam, far better in this way than in many others I could think of. Besides, surely you don't think that you can monitor or censor what a grown man says, no matter what it's about?

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

Mine are the little shit bags

[NordicPrincess]

no its healthy that he has an outlet to express his frustrations. little monsters isnt quite as satisfying lol

[roundwindow]

Thanks guys, this is actually really helpful, for once I'm quite happy to be in the wrong

[seeker]

I wouldn't like this either, because I hate any swear word being applied to children. My dp refers to ours as "the vermin", and I don't mind that!

[monkeyfacegrace]

Noooo seeker, vermin is worse!!

I call mine little bags of mouldy shite,

i.e, kids are just alseep after a marathon day/bedtime of evilness. I have been calm, fun, provided security and love. I sit down with a glass of red wine, and shout to my DH, 'thank got the little bags of mouldy shite are alseep ahhhhh!'

And then kiss my little darlings on the forehead while they sleep.

Better than the mums you hear screaming it in their kids faces. Chill, your husband sounds lovely.

[seeker]

When ds was about 3 he squared up to his dad, hands on hips and said "We's not vermins, we's peoples"

They still use this as a mantra when they feel unfairly treated 7 years later!