AIBU to wish people had Manners?!?(20 Posts)
As some may know from other threads, I work for a company in their call centre.
People will ring me and make orders for items and such.
My problem though is this, I cannot remeber the last time ANYONE I spoke too on the phone said "Please" or "Thank You"
This has become apparent to me in other ways too, when I go on lunch this one woman without fail goes at the same time as me, I hold every door for her on the way since im going through first and she has never ONCE said "Thank you" or even a freaking nod!!
Again in the car, anytime I let someone out or Merge there is no wave or anything, if anything it seems like people think they are entitled to these acts of common courtesy!!
Right...Rant over...I am going to get a coffee to calm down..
YANBU! I always make a point of saying please and thank you,whether on the phone or face-to-face.
I was out in a bar a few years ago,last orders,went to get some drinks,bar man refused to serve me as "I was so rude and hadn't said please or thank you all night". i was flabbergasted! My friends actually laughed and said they simply couldn't imagine me ever being rude like that,he must have mixed me up with someone else.But it still rankles to this day that he thought I was rude!
Thank you!! At least there is one person!!
I am literally at the point where I want to slam the door in that bloody womans face, but refuse to lower myself to her level!
Are you never tempted to say "thank you" for her and then apologising saying "sorry, I'm so used to prompting my toddler"? I did it by accident once but would be tempted to do it again in your circumstances.
YANBU, so many poeple seem to lack basic manners these days. I'd like to think the majority are still polite and it's just that we notice the rude ones more. But sometimes I wonder..
The door thing made me think of people who go through a door and let it slam shut in the face of whoever's behind them I always check and hold it open if there's someone else coming through.
FWIW, I'm always polite to people on the phone, even bastarding cold-callers. DH berates me for it, but I figure they have a shitty enough job as it is without me being rude to them.
No YANBU. Manners seem to be in short supply lately.
I find older people are the worst for this- they expect you to hold the door for them, let them sit down on the bus etc etc, but it rankles when they don't say thank you. (I'm not saying all older people are like this btw...but some are, and you can bet if you didn't let them get on the bus before you or whatever they'd play merry hell and call you rude!)
I'm always going on at my 2 DDs to say please and thank you because I think good manners are really important.
That reminds me of an old work colleague Reality. If ever we went out for a meal, everyone else would wait till everyone had been served before starting, but she would always just start eating as soon as she got her food. We'd all be surreptitiously giving eachother looks, but she was completely oblivious. Even worse at a wedding though.
NerdyFace - when people fail to say thankyou if I open a door or let them pass in the supermarket etc, I pointedly say 'You are welcome' - no-one has ever challenged me, but if they did, my answer would be - 'Oh I am sorry, I thought I had heard you thank me for holding the door open/standing aside for you. I apologise for assuming you were being polite!'
And I always say thank you or acknowledge a driver who lets me out, and wouldn't dream of being rude to call centre operators - even those who cold call me.
This is my real bugbear at the moment. I know people have some serious worries right now but I think the level of open hostility towards strangers in just bizarre. I too regularly see people drive like arses, cut people up, ignore small acts of kindness like opening doors and even being polite enough to say hello when you pass in corridor. It makes me really sad actually that people feel this way, that they can justify being that mean. How long does it take to be polite? Are they on way to save world or something?
As a result I try to be exceedingly nice to everyone, in the hope that they will see how much more pleasant that makes their day and then 'pass it on'. I realise this sounds ridiculous but I don't want to end up as bitter as they are. I heard a brilliant way to deal with non thankers though, just say 'Pardon? Sorry did you say something?' at which point they will either be shamed into it or tell you they didn't say anything in which case you can reply 'oh sorry I must have mistakenly heard 'thank you''...rather passive aggressive but makes the point nicely I think.
I have prompted my DCs, ooh, several million times over the years to say please, thankyou and sorry. I encourage them to give up their seats on trains or wherever, and to hold doors and let others through first. I hate the thought of either of them being thought rude or ungracious.
Finally it's paying off and I'm getting lovely feedback about their manners.
Sorry if this sounds big-headed or smug, but I agree with the OP that it's such a shame that so many people appear not to think it important. But I think it can make a difference to people's day if little gestures like that are made.
Good manners cost nothing as my gran used to say! I do often mutter "you're welcome" under my breath when I've held the door for someone who hasn't thanked me etc but I'm not brave enough to say it louder!!
With the DCs, if they say "can I have more juice?" or "I want a biscuit" I always say "Sorry, I didn't quite hear that?" until they add the "please" on the end! They soon get the message Also can't bear it when they shout at me for something from another room. I always tell them that I can't hear them unless they come to the same room as me and ask nicely!!
Yep, I do the same as StayingDavidTennantsGirl, a pointed "You're welcome" accompanied by an arch look.
But I've also been pulled up myself for not saying thank you , coming out of a shop distracted by DS sprinting away. Doesn't sound as if your workmate has that excuse though, OP. I'd perhaps just stand at the door and wait for her to open it for you next time?
Oh anytime she has been infront of me, she opens it just enough to squeeze through and then seems to PUSH it closed before I get there, once that ended up with my cracking my face on the glass window and chipping my tooth due to being distracted by my boss! Didn't even get an apology then, she just seemed to scamper off into the toilets for 15 minutes!
I am a firm believer in "What goes around, comes around" and have had some amazing good fortune in the past (My partner being example no.1!) so regardless of how these ass-hats continue to act, I will continue to be kind and courteous!
Oh, sod her then, fling the door closed behind you with as much force as you can muster. She needs to have it "come around" on her. Consider it a kindness and a courtesy to the future recipients of her behaviour.
I would really need to pull her up on it, you are a much nicer person than me.
I always say 'Thank you' when I open a door for someone and they don't say thank you to me. It's a compulsion now. My DP says its just a matter of time before someone kicks off at me! Some people just have no manners. As for people starting eating when other's have not yet got their food, if I am waiting for my dinner, I always say, 'please, just start, no point in your dinner getting cold'. I thought this was the norm nowadays. Or do people really think other's food should be allowed to go cold???
Yes i hate bad manners!
As a nurse i obv meet lots of people and while majority use P+Qs, some talk to me like a servant. Tends to be those with partners / carers who run round after them so they are used to ordering people about. I try to gently correct them but it's awkward reminding an 80yo to say 'please'!
I used to find i would get barged out of the way by men / younger groups etc on the street but am more confident now so this doesnt happen.
Old people can be physically pushy but many do have sensory and other impairments.
Can't stand parents who don't teach DC how to behave in public. Eg letting them play in shops, lie on the floor in pubs / cafes etc.
The one that gets me at the moment is school pick-up. Most of the parents form a vague queue up to the classroom door to collect DCs. Then the same two women every day just march up to the front, totally ignoring the people who've been waiting. They seem to have no shame.
I answered our home phone to someone calling for DH recently about a squash game. The caller clearly thought he was a) still in the office or b) that I was some sort of minion as he barked,"Joe Bloggs please" at me.
I paused and replied, very politely under the circumstances, "Excuse me? Did you wish to speak to my husband?" whereupon he remembered he was calling someone's home and altered his tone. Still makes me cross just thinking about it.
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