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to ask DD (13) to go to bed at 9pm?

(142 Posts)
buttonmoon78 Wed 03-Nov-10 21:26:51

Well, am I? I get 'evils' if I do but I think it's perfectly reasonable really.

After all, if she doesn't then I get even more evils in the morning.

But all I hear is 'but all my friends stay up til xxx o'clock'.

What time do your dcs go to bed, o wise ones?

pranma Wed 03-Nov-10 21:27:51

dgs is 13 and its 9.30 on school nights and 10 at weekends

GruesomeShellChillingTortoise Wed 03-Nov-10 21:27:58

13 yr old DS1 goes between 9pm and 9.30pm.

buttonmoon78 Wed 03-Nov-10 21:31:13

I ask her to go to bed at 9pm but it takes her at least half an hour to get herself sorted and wash her face cleanofslap so it's not like she's in bed with the lights off at 9.

And she normally reads / DSs for another 20-30 mins.

bigchris Wed 03-Nov-10 21:33:16

my mum sent ys to bed at nine until we left home for uni
yes we read in bed etc but we still had to get up at 6.30 to go to school
teenagers need their sleep

WhyIsThatThen Wed 03-Nov-10 21:40:34

DD goes to be anywhere between 8.30pm and 9pm weeknights, 9pm bing latest, this is lights out time. She is 11yrs, and yr7 at school.
She could do with 8.30pm most nights to be honest but she has lots of homework (only in from school at 4.45pm) and needs some 'down time' each day.

Do I think yabu? No, if 9pm suits you and she can sleep at 9pm then all well and good!

bruffin Wed 03-Nov-10 22:01:39

DD 13 goes when she is tired which is usually anywhere between 8 and 10. She is pretty good ay regulating herself. Tonight it was 8.30.
Teenagers do need more sleep than even younger children but the hormone that makes them sleepy isn't released until a lot later,so they don't find it easy to go tosleep.

CardyMow Wed 03-Nov-10 22:11:22

YANBU for wanting her to go to bed at 9pm.

YABU to expect to get her in bed for 9pm!

My (very nearly) 13yo DD goes to bed at 9.30pm on a school night (and is alseep quite quickly), and 10-ish at the weekend. She gets up at 7am. It pees me off because DP automatically falls asleep at 9pm, so I never get time with him after the dc's are in bed. Well, not time where he's awake and not snoring in the chair.

DS1 is almost 9yo, he is put to bed at 8.30pm on a school night but is NEVER asleep before 10pm, he will read in bed. I wouldn't mind so much...but he wakes up on the dot of 6am every day when I want him to sleep till 7am. So long as he's quiet and doesn't bug me or wake up his brother, I've given up and let him get on with it as he just doesn't need as much sleep!

bellavita Wed 03-Nov-10 22:18:30

I agree with Loudlass on the wanting and expecting..

DS1 13 goes to bed at 10.00pm on a week night and 11.00pm on a weekend. He is however usually up in his bedroom. He has no problem though with coming down to us earlier than that and saying he is going to bed because he is tired.

GetOrfMoiLand Wed 03-Nov-10 22:20:00

DD goes to bed at 10pm - howwever she is neasrly 15 and it was only upgraded from 9pm this summer after lots of pleading.

Teens need their sleep.

That said, she can stay up however late she likes at the weekend.

marriednotdead Wed 03-Nov-10 22:26:40

2 x 13 yo boys, bedtime 9.30 schoolnights, up to 11.30 (if they're watching a film perhaps) at weekends.

By 9.30 showered and in bed with lights & mobiles off. Sometimes have to yell at them to go to sleep if they're still gassing after 11 though hmm

YANBU, they need more sleep at that age.

onceamai Wed 03-Nov-10 22:44:33

Mine have never slept like other children. DS 15 - don't know - after me and I try to go up by 11. DD - goes up between 10.15 and 10.30 and usually asleep when I go up. But neither ever need more than one call to get up on the morning and always wake up cheerful so have always guessed they can't be short of sleep. Both do well at school and never seem tired.

pointydog Wed 03-Nov-10 22:48:27

The dds (14 and 12) go to bed between 9.30 and 10 on school nights. Lights out usually by 10.

My 14 yr old moans that is too early.

Bellabellabella Wed 03-Nov-10 22:52:14

Oh for heavens sake, just tell her, do not ask.

ChippingIn Wed 03-Nov-10 22:54:52

Sounds fine to me.

It also sounds like what I was made to do at her age & hated grin

TacticalNameChange Wed 03-Nov-10 23:05:58

I suppose you can enforce her being in her room at a certain time but not ensure she is asleep.

I don't have teenagers but I remember being made to be in my room at a certain time. I was left to my own devices but still had to get up for school/college.

I would read 'til late and when I got a tv/cd player in my room I would stay up til stupid o'clock and feel like crap in the morning but only 'til the novelty wore off.

I would imagine the internet makes a whole load of problems but maybe you could request she be in her room sans intenet at a certain hour and let her decide what time she actually gets into bed to sleep. I would hope that after a couple of weeks of feeling like death in the morning they she would manage herself?

BitOfFawkes Wed 03-Nov-10 23:07:14

My 14 year old goes up between nine and ten. She is happy enough to go up at nine if it involves a nice warm bath and she can have her tv on for a while to watch Ugly Betty and the like.

LelloLorry Wed 03-Nov-10 23:10:13

But remember that just because her friends say they go to bed at 2am/whenever they feel like, later bedtimes is pretty much the whole 'who's coolest' here.
Kids who say they go to bed late probably don't, and if they really do go to bed much later than your DD, they'll probably be tired.

Perhaps have a cut off point of internet/music/television at 9pm, and to be in her bedroom.

HappySlapper Wed 03-Nov-10 23:12:15

I disagree Bellabellabella - children of that age should have a little input, imo. And I'm strict.

upahill Wed 03-Nov-10 23:14:57

Well my 11 and 14 year old go up between 9.30pm and 10.00pm

However scouts and explores doesn't finish until 9.00pm (+ getting home time)Youth clubs finish at 9.00 as well, so does Dof E group.

RumourOfAHurricane Wed 03-Nov-10 23:17:24

Message withdrawn

ShinySoloSparklySolo Wed 03-Nov-10 23:18:01

Mine go up to bed for 9.30, but as usual (99% of the time) they are still messing about now at gone 11. Ds is 12.3 and Dd is 3.10 and they share a room. It drives me crazy. I'd like thm in bed at 8pm, but it isn't going to happen. I had to be in bed at 7 ~ 7.30 at 12yo.

SlackSally Wed 03-Nov-10 23:23:56


At 12 years old?

What time does she get in from school?

bruffin Wed 03-Nov-10 23:25:55

"but she has to be in her bedroom at around 7.30 ish"

Are you serious that a twelve year old had to be in her room by 7.30 shock What about after school activities, scouts and guides don't even start until 7.30, if they do extra curricular stuff at school they are sometimes not home until 7

glastocat Wed 03-Nov-10 23:28:12

7.30 at 12? Really? My nine year old is supposed to be in bed at 8 during the week, but reads/brushes teeth until at least half past. He's up at half seven for school, seems like enough sleep to me. I can't see me getting away with that when he is 12!

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