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This Woman! ARRRRGH!

(44 Posts)
Mammie81 Mon 01-Nov-10 16:41:24

Ive had SPD throughout this pregnancy (nearly the end!!!) I commute for an hour each way and I dont always get a seat so it does flare up quite badly from time to time. Ive had a few days off with the SPD and I have one morning a week at physio. This woman is not a line manager but is in the group I report to, so its in her diary, she knows.

She just asked me to come up to her desk with her for something (2 flights of stairs). I asked if she minded if we get the lift, stairs arent my friend.

Is "oh come on mammie, its just pregnancy, dont be so lazy, you can walk upstairs" really the response you would expect from someone on the management team??? I feel like kicking her in the fanjo so she knows what I feel like every day!

LadyViper Mon 01-Nov-10 16:42:42

do it!

Fibilou Mon 01-Nov-10 16:43:18

how fucking rude. and the "mammie" bit would have made me chuck up

Clearly she is either childless or one of us lucky ones that had an easy pregnancy

thesecondcoming Mon 01-Nov-10 16:43:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnnieLobeseder Mon 01-Nov-10 16:44:10

Has she got children? If not, tell her all about your pregnancy ailments in the most excriciating detail, so she knows what to look forward to in future. grin

plupervert Mon 01-Nov-10 16:44:28

Good God, no matter what she thinks, and whether she's management or not, no normal person should consider saying anything so rude and revealing herself so inconsiderate.

JamieLeeCurtis Mon 01-Nov-10 16:45:29

Yes, kick her in the fanjo.

Mammie81 Mon 01-Nov-10 16:46:11

Childless. And she's said before, its only morning sickness.

Perhaps tonight she'll slip on a leaf and land in the splits position! Now that would be revenge!

fiftyfifty Mon 01-Nov-10 16:46:40

Don't ask if she minds, just tell her you will be taking the lift and meet her at her desk. In my first pregnancy when I was 9 weeks or so (and hadn't told anyone) we went to a wedding. I stood up all day and most of the evening as I felt obliged to. Two days later I started bleeding and thought I was miscarrying. Thankfully it all turned out ok after a few days bedrest but it made me more determined to follow my instincts and try not to care what others thought. You have to look after yourself and your baby.

JamieLeeCurtis Mon 01-Nov-10 16:47:05

Clearly she lacks imagination.

I have not been kicked in the balls, but I can imagine it hurts a lot

JamieLeeCurtis Mon 01-Nov-10 16:47:36

(nor have I got any balls)

Pootles2010 Mon 01-Nov-10 16:47:48

Fibilou - think that was OP using her 'mumsnet name' - ie she didn't actually say 'come on mammie'.

Fibilou Mon 01-Nov-10 16:48:15

Then if she's childless I would have to say "when you've actually been pregnant I will consider your opinion"

Mammie81 Mon 01-Nov-10 16:48:24

Oh and this is the same woman who fed into my performance review that it seems I dont want to be here since I got pregnant! I'd been signed off!

jonesy71 Mon 01-Nov-10 16:49:20


I never experienced SPD, but a close friend of mine did so I have an idea how nasty it is.

But besides that if someone had expected me to climb two flights of stairs near the end of my pregnancy (I was quite barrellesque) and called me 'lazy' for preferring not to do so, that person would have deserved a kick in the fanjo regardless.

Go on, Kick her in the fanjo.

Fibilou Mon 01-Nov-10 16:49:29

one good thing about our office is that the one "manager" that doesn't have children is so outnumbered by mothers (almost everyone is a parent in our place) that she would be eaten alive if she made that sort of comment.

FakePlasticTrees Mon 01-Nov-10 16:50:05

I'd be going back to her and saying "Look, I didn't want to make a fuss at the time, but it occurred to me that you might not realise I've got a problem with my pelvis that causes me pain. This is more than normal pregnancy aches and pains. I can't walk a couple of flights of stairs. It should get better after I've had the baby, but between now and then it's only going to get worse."

Just saying "I've got SPD" isn't working with her, as she might be one of those who thought they had it, but just had a bit of a twinge, or hasn't had DCs and thinks that 'just being pregnant' isn't a big deal.

booyhoo Mon 01-Nov-10 16:50:13

i think you should speak to your line manager about her tbh.

when i was PG with ds1 i had terrible morning sickness until 22 weeks. as a result i had a good deal of absences from work. my area manager cornered me one day, in the walk in safe and said "it's time all this stopped now. I know morning sickness ends at 12 weeks. you really cant still be ill". i assured her that i was and that i only called in sick when i really couldn't function. needless to say she had no children. i wish i had said something but at the time i was 18 and felt very judged so didn't feel i had a lot of support in the office. a few years later she became pregnant and i desperatly wanted to ask her if she had bad morning sickness. i hope she did.

jonesy71 Mon 01-Nov-10 16:53:15

Kick her in the fanjo
Kick her in the fanjo
Kick her in the fanjo

Greythorne Mon 01-Nov-10 16:55:27

What's SPD?

Mammie81 Mon 01-Nov-10 17:00:05

I'm sure she thinks Im putting it on (I had a week off for stress when I bled at 10 weeks too)

And shes one of those who has a 'Im so friendly' outer face...

thesecondcoming Mon 01-Nov-10 17:03:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieLeeCurtis Mon 01-Nov-10 17:04:25

There's another thread on here ATM about bullying during pregnancy

Mammie81 Mon 01-Nov-10 17:05:29

Its too late now, I finish in 2 days. [praises]

Although when I get back, my eyes will be peeled!

nickelbangBANGbang Mon 01-Nov-10 17:10:11

You really need to raise it with another manager (preferably this one's Line Manager)

It's workplace discrimination - noone should be told that they're too lazy to walk upstairs when they're pregnant (with or without another condition such as SPD), and it is very wrong that she sais that you "weren't in it" when you'd been signed off.

This is a serious thing - she should be disciplined for it.

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