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to be very, very upset by this?

(81 Posts)
DizzyMum Fri 22-Oct-10 19:11:33

My dd has molluscum contagiosum. This is caused by a virus. She has spots that look like warts which then erupt and heal over before a new batch appears. It is not painful or itchy but is unslightly. She has the spots on her tummy, arms and tops of legs. The doctor says it should clear up of its own accord and no treatment is needed. Most adults are immune.

Yesterday the mother of my dds best friend, who has been avoiding us for a couple of weeks, finally admitted in an email that she did not want her dd to play with my dd anymore because she was afraid her family would catch it. The virus can last for years so she has effectively ended a five year friendship and I have no idea how to tell my dd that she won't see her best friend anymore.

If everyone behaves like this we will literally be like lepers.

moomaa Fri 22-Oct-10 19:12:46

YANBU to be upset but she is NBU to not want her DD to catch it!

jamaisjedors Fri 22-Oct-10 19:13:50

IS it contagious?

mollymax Fri 22-Oct-10 19:14:37

Email the mother back with a link explaining the virus.
If she still avoids you, she was not a good friend at all.

fastedwina Fri 22-Oct-10 19:15:01

Ds had it, but luckily had no one shun us, where we lived it was quite common. Had to seek treatment though as it was getting quite bad and taking ages to clear.

unfitmother Fri 22-Oct-10 19:15:41

I'm sorry to hear that, as if things aren't hard enough!

sarah293 Fri 22-Oct-10 19:15:47

Message withdrawn

LilRedWG Fri 22-Oct-10 19:16:24

Ouch at emailing you - that is plain cowardice. angry

atswimtwolengths Fri 22-Oct-10 19:16:39

Only through shared towels and skin-to-skin contact.

She's being unreasonable. She should talk to you and if necessary talk to a doctor about how to avoid her own daughter catching it, and then do whatever they say.

Obviously she doesn't want her own child to get it, but surely they can play together safely?

MissAnneElk Fri 22-Oct-10 19:19:44

I would be really upset and I think I'd make it clear to my ex friend. DD2 had them. Very common. The only advice we were given is don't share towels. DD1 didn't catch them from her and I'd be amazed if they hadn't shared towels. They tend to disappear as suddenly as they appear. DD had them for about 6 months I think.

stillbobbysgirl Fri 22-Oct-10 19:20:44

Yes its contagious and unsightly. My youngest had it on his tummy for about a year and one morning woke up and they had literally disappeared overnight. He caught them from my friends beautiful little girl who had them all over her face - the poor little love looked terrible for about a year.

But FFS it would never have occured to me for one second to not let them play together.

Your so called freind is nasty and ignorant. She needs to educate herself.

DizzyMum Fri 22-Oct-10 19:21:03

Riven,

dd goes to state school and her friend goes to a private school. I guess no-one at private school ever gets such a thing ....

PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker Fri 22-Oct-10 19:21:06

My ds had it and we would squeeze them after a bath, there is a school of thought that thinks if you expel them the body knows it's unwanted....

worked for us but he didn't have it that bad. Weirdly DH had one about ten years ago and one the other week.

DomesticG0ddess Fri 22-Oct-10 19:21:18

That's ridiculous, so many kids get it that she would have to avoid loads of people. YANBU at all to be very upset. DS's little friend had it for about 18 months. During this time I think he caught it, although not necessarily from her, because some other kids in preschool had it too. But his have not even spread beyond a couple of spots (check out the mol. kits on 100%nature.com). We continued to go swimming with them, play together etc. Obviously we wouldn't share towels. The only reason adults are immune is because they had it as kids I believe?

Your friend is being very selfish, and downright mean to both children. And to email you about it! I am sure other people won't react in the same way. I don't know how you tell DD about it, because she is likely to be self conscious anyway. Even though you are upset, I agree with mollymax that you could send some more info, and explain that not all children get it in the same way, and some clear up very quickly.

brenda21 Fri 22-Oct-10 19:21:37

My ds has it too, has done for several months now. They seem to be working their way up and now he has a batch on his neck, all at the erupting stagesad
He is self conscious about it, his friends have asked what they are and ds says they're just a rash thing so they shouldn't touch them. Only one adult has been a bit "ooh we don't want to catch them, yuck" about it, and funnily hmm enough her ds has been keeping his distance a bit, no invites round there recently....ds just assumes (maybe correctly) that they've grown apart.
It is horrible and I really feel for you and your dd, though realise I've offered you absolutely no advice, just lots of sympathy

nancydrewrocked Fri 22-Oct-10 19:21:42

dizzy you have my sympthy.

I posted a long thread on here about my DD's molluscum and after trying absolutely everything we are having some sucess with a homeopathic remedy which was recommended on here and by the pharmacist at Boots.

mooma the friend is being unreasonable. The virus is harmless. About 30% of under 6's have it and so the chances of her DD getting it are fairly high in any event.

The main reason I wanted my DD to have hers removed was because of the horrid treatment she has suffered from a few ignorant individuals.

Roxylox Fri 22-Oct-10 19:23:22

My son had this and no-one else in the house, or any if his friends were affected.

Sounds like she is acting out of ignorance.

Not sure if she will be open to education sad

PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker Fri 22-Oct-10 19:23:26

DM...this has nothing to do with schools and is a silly comment(3/4 Riven's children are privately educated btw).

Make sure if you do squeeze you keep super clean and have tweezers ready, the hard lumpy skin like stuff that comes out is hard and a little wider than the opening so by using tweezers you have to pull it out.

Holymoly321 Fri 22-Oct-10 19:25:00

DS2 who is nearly 3 has this and has had it for about 5 months.I too have been told that it's harmless, very common in toddlers,and wll last around 18 months. He's not bothered by it and neither are we. When I think about all the other things he could have which ae serious conditioins,I think we're very lucky that this is all he has to deal with. No-one has ever commented on it _he has it on his stomach, back and creases in his arms. I can understand your friends concern but to behonest, they prob come into contact with lots of other children who have it and they wouldn't even know! I personally thnk YANBU, but hey, people will be people and if they think a certain way, it's hard to change their mind. But think of this, in a few days your LO will have made new best friend anyway! Try not to worry.

Roxylox Fri 22-Oct-10 19:25:29

If it's any reassurance to those affected, they did disappear in the end smile

Simbacat Fri 22-Oct-10 19:25:44

My daughter had them for 3 years- my son for 3 weeks.

You need to burst them (as we found out). She had eczema and we stopped her scratching and so the body never created immunity. I am sure some doctor will dispute that but that is how it was explained to me. They sit on the surface like cow pox and until they enter the bloodstream the body doesn't fight them

Squueeze them( child will scream but be tough!!!) . A white thing pops out they bleed. Do this this to a few a day for several days ( I did it when she was asleep in the end).

After 3 years they were gone in 4 weeks from doing this. I didn't burst them all- she developed immunity.

Every child gets them apparently- sometimes unknown- they get one of 2 scratch and that's it- immune and gone.

fastedwina Fri 22-Oct-10 19:28:05

got a cream from a specialist (did cost a fair bit) and it cleared fast. But it was getting bad and close to Dc face just as he was starting school.

bendybanana Fri 22-Oct-10 19:30:05

We have just had the same thing and it went after one year. The fact is that 1 in 4 children will get it at some point (often mildly). Hand washing and not touching the molluscum really helped limit the number of spots and spreading. We were told just to continue life as normal by our GP. In my eyes she is really over reacting! It's such a mild virus - there are no really bad symptoms at all and there are probably a few kids in her daughters school class who have it at this present moment even. I'd be tempted to email her back and say that she's over reacting and that she is in effect finishing the friendship. Honestly it's not like you have swine flu!

phipps Fri 22-Oct-10 19:32:46

YANBU.

My son had this. Had him checked by a GP. Was told to carry on life as normal.

bendybanana Fri 22-Oct-10 19:34:30

ps - my little one never let me squeeze her spots but she did however let me once use a (chilled boiled) needle to get one small cyst out. Once the cyst was gone the area quickly went to being spot free/normal.

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