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to be bored with myself and to want to become a Jilly Cooper character for the winter?

(793 Posts)
BalloonSlayer Wed 13-Oct-10 12:32:43

I want to sit in front of a fire of apple logs, wearing only a Dark Blue towel.

I want a rosy-cheeked face which I have to tone down with green foundation, instead of looking like a corpse unless I put on loads of blusher.

I want to drink three quarters of a bottle of Moet before doing ANYTHING. (Including: getting up in the morning or taking an important exam.)

I want an Absolutely Filthy Mini instead of a people carrier.

I want DH to do thumb exercises so that the ball of his thumb becomes pudgy because apparently that's sexy or something hmm.

I want to lose loads and loads of weight every time I am a bit sad about something, so that everyone who thought I was a minger before is suddenly struck by my beauty, instead of eating cakes to cheer myself up and getting fatter.


SarahStratton Fri 11-May-12 08:33:01

I've revived the webchat thread in Site Stuff. Tad more badgering required.

BogStandardOldWoman Sun 15-Sep-13 18:26:42

Dare I bump? Love and adore the divine Jilly. Web chat!web chat!

colourmehappytheresasofainhere Mon 16-Sep-13 21:01:15

Bump!! Best thread ever! I'm dying for a bottle of sancerre over some kind of delectable salmon dish in the London sunshine with Janey, followed by tottering back to rutshire tight of of course, only to bump into archie, tanned and in black freshly returned from exile in Tuscany who upgrades me to first class... and in the evening I get to go to the o'hara's new years eve bash where I strutt into the room dressed rapaciously and then spend all night and the following day with Patrick o'hara, so sure and confident ... Swoon!!! Perfect day or what eh

colourmehappytheresasofainhere Mon 16-Sep-13 21:02:46

Jc Austen of our time, doubtless

DawnOfTheDee Mon 16-Sep-13 21:13:59

I wanted to ask about Taggie's "cloud" of hair too. What does it mean? Please could someone link to a photo of someone who has dark, cloud-like hair because it's been bugging me for years?

colourmehappytheresasofainhere Mon 16-Sep-13 21:43:46

Gosh I just can't think of anyone who actually has a cloud of dark hair... I imagine it as thick and lustrous but frothy and perfect all at once...

moreyear Tue 17-Sep-13 05:11:35

Someone who has a 'cloud of dark' hair' would certainly always be shot in soft focus I think.

I always picture a young Phoebe Cates' hair when it was kind of fluffy.

moreyear Tue 17-Sep-13 05:13:39

And yes, yes to Jilly on a webchat.

PrimalLass Tue 17-Sep-13 06:19:36

Oh yes please. I am in mourning again after finishing Riders and Rivals for the gazillionth time. I was considering harassing Jilly for a new RCB-era book.

I have a literature degree but would rather read Jilly ...

BogStandardOldWoman Tue 17-Sep-13 08:09:39

Apparently the next book will centre round RCB - but I want more 70s/80s stuff, the absolute pinnacle of her writing. This winter I am going to float about my charming little cottage, eating too many biscuits to keep out the cold, and having wealthy businessmen and young bloods fall in love with me due to my lovely nature and capacious cashmere bosom.

colourmehappytheresasofainhere Tue 17-Sep-13 08:33:39

I'm going to have a lot of impossibly glamorous members of the polo set dropping in on me unannounced. This will doubtless entail aristocracy having to sit on my charming mongrel's rug on the aging sofa and I offer them straight vodka in hastily washed tea cups .... And then I'm going to feel awful about how fat and old I am having been propositioned by muscular young bloods with mahogany backs tanned from palm beach. Yes I am.

Binkybix Tue 17-Sep-13 10:17:44

Not finished thread yet, but 2 things to add:

- my DH once got hold of JC's address and wrote to her telling her what a fan I was and asking if she could sign a birthday card he'd sent her. She did the card and wrote me a letter saying I sounded delightful and like one of her heroines (I'm not but still I WAS SO EXCITED).

- 'Score' got me through my recent labour with DS.

Back to the thread. I howled with laughter at 'Ker-ist' and slipping hands into cleavage,

SuperiorCat Tue 17-Sep-13 10:22:13

Ahhh here we all are again. Lovely.

Off to re-read this fab thread.

HangingGardenofBabbysBum Tue 17-Sep-13 11:08:46

I thought of this thread yesterday reading the 'why aren't your bloody houses clean?' thread.

Because we are heartbroken and tight and looking at ravishing sunsets and in EA relationships that make us tremble and being bullied by lower middle class ghastly types and sighing over hollyhocks peeping shyly into our dirty windows and biting our nails and defying death rescuing adorable mongrels from motorways and being screamed at by our bitchy teens then howling with laughter when they're sick in a trumpet and forgetting to eat so our rings rattle and slathering ourselves in Ambre Solaire and typing topless and swooning over symphonies and birdsong and poetry and hiding from bearded sandal wearers with bad breath and sobbing into perfect yellow squashy sofas and avoiding bootfaced do-gooders and being forced to eat delicious things by pink and white Etonians who drive tatty cars too fast and emerging from said heartbreak with an old racehorse miraculously stabled, swathed only in a bath towel and a bush containing the EU butter mountain and a joyous-lurcher type man who wants to mount us night and day.

That's why my house is filthy anyway.

BogStandardOldWoman Tue 17-Sep-13 11:22:13

Lucky cow

labelwriter Tue 17-Sep-13 11:28:55

HangingGardenofBabbysBum That was excellent... if only. I love this thread. Winters in Jilly Cooper land always sound so amazing and beautiful. I am currently trying to persuade my friend to have a JC themed 50th birthday party.

squoosh Tue 17-Sep-13 11:40:27

I've never read a Jilly Cooper novel, and now I can't help but think that my life has been the greyer for it!

BogStandardOldWoman Tue 17-Sep-13 11:47:29

Squoosh - it has. I am so jealous that you have all that joy to come! Order Riders and Rivals, lie back in a Floris scented bath with a mug of Moët and enjoy!

colourmehappytheresasofainhere Tue 17-Sep-13 13:12:23

Oh hanging an eu butter mountain!! Too good. I for one am suffering such heartbreak that all I can do is wander aimlessly in the countryside, my legs being torn by brambles while my new miss Selfridge t shirt swiped from my recalcitrant teen becomes layered with scurf. Absolutely no time whatsoever to clean the house, and my treasure has been annexed. Sob.

colourmehappytheresasofainhere Tue 17-Sep-13 13:14:20

And oh squoosh the hours of joy you have ahead having not read any...I'm as green as daisy after a faceful of base...

BalloonSlayer Tue 17-Sep-13 13:18:27


Me old thread has made a comeback.

Must say, I do feel the same as ever.

I would like to light the fire tonight, and sit in front of it wrapped only in a dark blue towel, swigging burgundy out of a chipped coffee mug and eating the remains of an apple pie I found in the pantry but had to fight the cat for . . . DH will walk in, stamping the snow off his boots, I will leap guiltily to my feet as I have forgotten to make supper (again!), and in my confusion my towel will drop off. "Christ!" he will say "That's worth coming home to."

PrimalLass Tue 17-Sep-13 13:26:33

DH will walk in ... I will leap guiltily to my feet as I have forgotten to make supper (again!)

To be fair this is my every evening, but I am fully clothed and surfing the net. I just get a disgusted shake of the head about the state of the house.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 17-Sep-13 13:33:17

Oh God squoosh. I am SO JEALOUS of anyone who hasn't read any Jilly yet.

You must, darling. And then when you've finished, pop over to Twatkins' Lodge and have some supper. Bring some Bolly with you. wink

BalloonSlayer Tue 17-Sep-13 13:36:43

As a matter of fact I was thinking about RCB (ahem!) recently when we watched a documentary about the 1976 F1 Grand Prix season and the rivalry between James Hunt and Niki Lauder.

It did make me wonder whether Rupert was in part based on James Hunt - although Jilly has never said so as far as I know.

Hunt was blond, he was not academic, he was good at everything physical, he was posh (there were lots of clips of him calling people "dear boy"), he was frequently pissed/stoned, had hundreds of women, there was an anecdote about him having a corker of a hangover before a big race, having sex with his latest girlfriend to "cure" it and going on to win the race . . . It was all incredibly familiar sounding.
(Oh and his wife ran off with Richard Burton )

BalloonSlayer Tue 17-Sep-13 13:37:56

PrimalLass well try the fire and the towel then . . . he might not mind so much. wink

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