to want to give up job and move back to Northern Ireland.(9 Posts)
I'm originally from Northern Ireland, DH isn't. We have been living in England for over ten years now. Until recently I never showed any interest in moving back home and though I would be happy to live in England forever. However had DS last year (now 12 months) and have suffered with PND and found the whole childrearing thing quite tough.
Neither of us have any family nearby nor any real friends. University friends moved away whilst we stayed in University town. To be honest before DS came along I hadn't really noticed how isolated we were. Now I long to move home where I have large family and some good friends.
Problem is both DH and I have good jobs which we like and jobs in NI are hard to find ATM. I feel that many of my PND problems are to do with feelings of isolation and that moving home would make things easier. I therefore want to move ASAP and would easily give up my job tomorrow. DH has agreed in principle to the move but I know will put it off for as long as possible and we will end up with DS starting school here and then the impetus to move will be gone.
Am I being unreasonable in asking him to move?
We went back to Belfast after seven years in England, as dh got a job. I found it very hard, as everyone else had 'moved on'. Would your dh be able to get a better job than where he is at present? I'd see that as the deal maker. And would you be able to find something too? We had to move away again as dh found another job...I like having a bit of a distance between MIL and me though . Where do you want to move to?
You have had a tough start, you have no network, of course you are going to want to gravitate to family and familiar things.
It costs nothing to investigate, to research and see if it's viable to get a job back there etc etc.
Do your homework, see what you come up with and then you make decisions and DH can see his options over there too.
TBH, if you hand't had PND, you wouldn't be feeling like this, try not to blame your life for PND, blame PND for your unhappiness now. It will pass, this fug will not last forever, and you will go back to happy.
PND can strike anyone of us, I had full blown depression 5+ years before having DS, and naturally was worried that I could get it again. Luckily I didn't.
Do your research, that alone will get your brain busy and focussed on something pleasant, that will help your day to day, to have a goal, an ambition.
DS is 1yo, you have oodles and oodles of time to find the perfect job, house and school. Don't worry, you will get to where you need to be.
Thanks for the replies! I know that moving will obviously not resolve my PND but I think the reassurance of having a back up system in place would help a little. It is little things like not having someone to look after DS if he is sick that annoys me. Last time DS had D&V it lasted two weeks and in the end I had to get my mum to come over to visit to look after him as DH and I couldn't take any more time off.
I think even if you are looking into the idea, it'll help you somehow, so go for it!
The PND will go, it has to, just keep fighting it, and you will win!
I'm moving from London to Belfast in the spring. I have two cats and a rental flat to clear out. Am I best hiring a removal company to move my stuff over and then borrowing a car to drive the cats across in the ferry? I've no idea where to start.
Any advice would be so welcome!!
Meebaha this is a bit of a zombie thread, you'd probably be better starting a new one
FWIW, yes, the removal van/you driving the cats is probably your best bet. Though I know of people who have had big cars and very little stuff, who have managed to do it all themselves in one trip!
Just saw you're having to borrow a car. When my parents had to clear out my grandad's flat in England, they borrowed a van and managed to get all the stuff in, and drove it across themselves
I've used a company called The Dixon Line for a similar journey. They were brilliant and much cheaper than other companies I spoke to. They'll do part loads if you don't have much stuff.
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