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to expect to not be judged?

(41 Posts)
rpickett Sun 05-Sep-10 14:34:10

I'm getting so fed up of people being negative because I plan on breastfeeding when my little girl is born. I don't give a monkeys how people choose to feed their own babies so AIBU to expect people to keep their opinions to themselves?
Where I live at the moment there is about 10 of us pregnant ladies due within a few months and keep getting asked "so what formula are you planing on using?" or "are you taking bottles into hospital?" and when I reply that no I plan on breastfeeding I get looked upon like a leper and comments such as "why would you do that, it makes your boobs droopy" "I cant be bothered with that, Im not even gonna try, bottles are so much easier", I don't ask what peoples plans are and if someone says they plan on formula feeding from the start I don't make comments so AIBU to expect the same in return?

hairytriangle Sun 05-Sep-10 14:35:43

YANBU at all.

Tell them to mind their own business. Or tell them about the benefits of breast feeding, when they tell you about the 'downfalls'

DuelingFanjo Sun 05-Sep-10 14:35:54

Tell them that it's pregnancy which makes boobs drop, not breastfeeding.

Tell them that it's far more convenient than bottle feeding.

Tell them it's good for a baby's immune system.

whatkatydidathome Sun 05-Sep-10 14:36:45

YANBU they are. Maybe they feel guilty about their choices. bfing certainly does not make your boobs droop and gets the weight off really quickly (as well as all the other pros).
Try contacting your local NCT branch - they may be more supportive.

fuschiagroan Sun 05-Sep-10 14:41:24

Maybe you could swap friends with all the people who get criticised for giving a bottle?

mumbar Sun 05-Sep-10 14:46:19

when asked 'what formula are your using?' reply 'expressed boobie, its great for LO's haven't you heard of it!' wink

YANBU btw.

FWIW I had no bobs before being pg with DS, breastfeeding has made sure I kept a pair and they are not droopy (yet!)

BelleDameSansMerci Sun 05-Sep-10 14:46:36

YANBU at all. I was the opposite - the only one planning to formula feed when everyone in my ante-natal group was planning to breast feed.

I'd really recommend getting in touch with your local NCT group who will make sure you get the support you need. They are great and can provide really good support and advice for as long as you need it.

Just because I didn't do it doesn't mean that I don't think you should get all the support you can.

Good luck, by the way.

lifeissweet Sun 05-Sep-10 15:01:43

How on earth is bottle feeding easier than breastfeeding exactly?

You will not have to prepare bottles, sterilise everything, wait for water to cool...etc. It is so much easier to breast feed. You just discretely latch them on and off you go. You can do it anywhere without all the hassle.

You are making a positive decision for both you and your dc. I can almost understand the way people judge women who choose to bottle feed (although I don't agree with it), but not the other way round.

RainbowRainbow Sun 05-Sep-10 15:01:54

YANBU, they are. It's no-one else's business how you feed your baby. Or how they feed theirs.

warthog Sun 05-Sep-10 15:04:42

didn't make my boobs droopy. same as they always were.

ppeatfruit Sun 05-Sep-10 15:09:45

No same here warthog and the docs say BF protects against breast cancer tell those judgey types that!!

BarefootShirl Sun 05-Sep-10 15:11:46

I breastfed both DC and, if anyone asked, told them that it was my choice! Actually most of my friends knew anyway as I was never shy about feeding in cafes etc so most of them saw me at some point.

BTW my boobs did not droop as a result - they may not be as "pert" as they used to be but that's down to age (and possibly rarely wearing a bra).

anyabanya Sun 05-Sep-10 15:56:30

Oh for crying out loud!!!!!

People do indeed need to mind their own business. Breast, Bottle, let people do what they need and feel most comfortable with.

(Mixed feeder here, so no axe to grind).

lazarusb Sun 05-Sep-10 16:19:15

At least when your milk comes in (which I found uncomfortable each time) it will have somewhere useful to go! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and bf

rpickett Sun 05-Sep-10 16:22:35

thank you for ur support, means alot after all the negativity, the thing is I breastfed my two sons as well but I was living in a completly different area and no one ever had a problem with it, I even had one of the pregnant girls last week tell me I shouldn't do it in public as it was illegal, I told her it is not illegal infact quite the opposite and she argued with me stating her aunt is a police woman and she told her!!

Shaz10 Sun 05-Sep-10 16:24:19

I think you need a new group. Who needs to listen to that level of idiocy?

diddl Sun 05-Sep-10 16:26:32

Oh dear OP these women do sound misinformed to say the least-either that or very young!

Hopefully as you´ve already done it twice it will all work out OK fr you.

WhatsWrongWithYou Sun 05-Sep-10 16:27:09

I agree - get yourself some civilised friends who'll support each other whatever they decide re. feeding.

RumourOfAHurricane Sun 05-Sep-10 16:30:33

Message withdrawn

anonwomble Sun 05-Sep-10 16:31:42

bottles easier? I've never made up formula but have you seen how many threads there are about getting it right? Looks like a right faf to me, and you have to get out of bed at night, no thanks!

cidre Sun 05-Sep-10 16:35:07

Never heard of anyone being slated for bfing.

NicknameInUse Sun 05-Sep-10 16:35:10

It's the milk that can make boobs droopy and you get that whether you breastfeed or not. What stupid, ignorant, rude women! I can't begin to fathem where they've 'learnt' that load of nonsense!
God I hate it when people start judging/commenting on other people's parenting choices [anrgy]

diddl Sun 05-Sep-10 16:39:35

Sorry for the hijack & I´ll sound really ignorant here, but if someone decides not to bfeed, what do you do when the milk comes in?

Just ignore?

SirBoobAlot Sun 05-Sep-10 16:42:24

Are the majority of them younger mums? I ask as they are the same things I have heard from the teen antenatal group I went to.

But anyway - if you are happy with your choice then that is what matters. It is difficult being on the receiving end of negativity, and being in the minority with your pregnancy / birth / parenting choices, but try not to get upset by it (know its hard!). Be content with your own decisions and don't let anyone tell you to do otherwise

meltedchocolate Sun 05-Sep-10 16:43:56

I do have very droopy boobs now it has to be said BUT it was far easier at the time than bottle feeding. Apart from being the only one that can feed when baby is little which is nackering. You just whip em out feed and, oh look, they are already put away.. No 'how many bottles have you brought?' 'Two and they magically refill'

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