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to resent getting grief because I work in a private school?

(267 Posts)
fuschiagroan Sun 05-Sep-10 12:48:36

OK, realise that people may say I am being totally unreasonable.

Just about to start my first teaching job. It's in a private school. At a dinner party the other night, my friend (well, I've known her a long time but we're not that close) was making lots of digging little comments about the fact it was a private school. Other people were asking genuine questions about the job/school, not being snarky at all, like 'So what are class sizes like?'. When I answered, e.g. 'It's fifteen to a class at most' this friend went 'God!', wrinkling her nose, as though I'd just said they had a school society for strangling baby bunnies or something. She also made comments about 'privilege' and 'unfair' etc.

OK, I know of course that it is a very privileged environment, and the kids are incredibly lucky. But why does that make me a bad person for working there? If a job had come up in a good state school I would have been just as happy teaching there, but this was the school that offered me a job.

I just think, ffs, I'm not an arms dealer. There's really no need for her to criticise my choice of workplace just because it doesn't fit in with her faux-socialism.

By the way, she got her kid into a great state school by moving into the (expensive property) catchment area - not exactly something possible for all!

belledechocolatefluffybunny Sun 05-Sep-10 12:53:35

God, just tell them that the children will be fine but the parents will be a nightmare, expecting to see you at all hours of the day, expecting you to give their child extra homework, the chances are that you will be at their beck and call and their child will be the one that does no wrong. Not all private schools are like this, the first one ds attended was though, the majority of parents were a nightmare, they would interrupt other parents when they were speaking to the head/teachers, they would demand to see the teachers, demand extra homework for their child and their children would not be able to do anything for themselves as the parents would even unpack their school bag for them.

BaggedandTagged Sun 05-Sep-10 12:53:55

She is being nasty and snidey. Champagne socialists are always the worst- give me a proper commie or a proper capitalist any day grin

Presumably, as she's just bought a big posh house, either she or her DH (or both) are fully engaged in some capitalist enterprise or other so she probably has little room to comment on your career choice.

(please, please tell me that she works for Nestle or something)

crisproll2 Sun 05-Sep-10 12:54:52

Sorry but you all sound like you need to get a life!

Surely you`ve got better things to discuss at dinner parties!!

fuschiagroan Sun 05-Sep-10 12:59:52

Oi crisproll, I'm excited about my job! 'Tis new, you see.

Yup their house is pretty nice. To be fair her and her DH do work in reasonably socially responsible jobs, but they make a pretty good whack at it!

Yup, belle, I fully expect that the better behaviour of the children will be cancelled out by the unreasonable behaviour of parents!

senua Sun 05-Sep-10 13:02:01

Just give them some flannel along the lines of "don't you know there's a recession on? It was the only job I could find." You are only the topic of conversation because the situation is new - they will move onto something else next week.
Good luck with the

ditavonteesed Sun 05-Sep-10 13:02:33

crisproll surely your new job is a reasonable dinner party discussion.

prozacfairy Sun 05-Sep-10 13:03:11

Aren't people like this just secretly jealous that they dont get the same oppurtunities? Sounds like jealousy...

I'd wind her a lot next time subject comes up. May as well enjoy watching her blood pressure soar. What other fun things do people do at dinner parties? [ignorant emotion]

Megatron Sun 05-Sep-10 13:03:23

She's being silly and childish, some people can never be happy for others. Anyway if I was at a dinner party I would ask about someone's new job, doesn't mean it would be the sole topic of conversation all night. Congratulations on the new job, hope it all goes well. smile

crisproll2 Sun 05-Sep-10 13:03:36

Sorry fuschia, couldn`t resist it! grin

Middle class angst is just soooo funny!!!

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 05-Sep-10 13:04:27

Message withdrawn

Tootlesmummy Sun 05-Sep-10 13:04:40

Sorry but children we go to private school are not 'lucky' their parents are paying for them to go.

I mentioned to a friend that DH and I were thinking about sending our son to private school and she was outraged! how she disagreed with private school and that it took away from the state schools etc. despite me pointing out that I would still be paying my NI and full tax (no rebate for not using the state schools!).

I'd tell her to get stuffed!

hairytriangle Sun 05-Sep-10 13:05:34

I'm no a private education fan at all, but it's the individual's choice to send their kids to private school, or to work in them.

Just ignore your 'friend'.

BoneyBackJefferson Sun 05-Sep-10 13:05:54

just FYI (assuming first teching post)

the behaviour will be about the same, in some areas worse (especially if the pupils have been given everything on a plate). The main difference is in parental support/interferance.

but I hope you enjoy you new job

and well done an getting the post as private schools are really difficult to get jobs in (last bit was for those that don't know )

fuschiagroan Sun 05-Sep-10 13:05:56

Tootles, I meant they are lucky that their parents can afford it.

crisproll2 Sun 05-Sep-10 13:09:17

No rebate for not using state schools! Whatever next?
A very good point to raise at a dinner party Tootles.

Pip pip!!

cazzybabs Sun 05-Sep-10 13:11:37

i work in a private - its not all a bed of roses ... have had some very pushy demanding parents and lots of extra things demanded ... so yes less children but not less work

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 05-Sep-10 13:14:50

Message withdrawn

BitOfFun Sun 05-Sep-10 13:17:32

Pip pip indeed grin

Tootlesmummy Sun 05-Sep-10 13:18:43

I certainly don't begrudge paying my full tax or NI but I don't see that I am depriving the state schools of anything.
Star, why should school fees be taxed?

durga Sun 05-Sep-10 13:19:28

IFirstly I have taught in the independent sector so I am nktgoing to give you grief. I left when someone remarked to me that as someone who was a very good teacher who had escaped deprivation because of state education perhaps I would be used best in the state sector and what's more at the tough end of it. Children who use the independent sector are already advantaged and can get by with good teachers. Children in tough state schools need the best teachers with certain skills. If you are an outstanding teacher the state sector needs you.

Before I get leapt on I am not saying independent schools have or deserve crap teachers. But some of our failing schools need good teachers.

dokija Sun 05-Sep-10 13:20:01

As a mother of three girls who all started in the State system and eventually moved to publicor private schools because of frequent job moves...all I would say is "good luck to you", enjoy the job and challenges and forget comments..good and bad parents in every type of school" if it is a good school you will be challenged and have a great time, if not you will look around and move on. So sick of the stereo types people have...we sacrifice lots to send our children to their school,they are well balanced kids and yes they have been lucky,we are broke but that was our choice.Majority of parents at the school are going to be supportive and decent...some will be prats but that's life..go for it girl and hope all is well.

fuschiagroan Sun 05-Sep-10 13:22:10

I understand that argument, durga, and I do think I am a good teacher. But I haven't got such a Messiah complex as to believe that I could make a massive difference to a deprived school. I probably don't have the personality for it, but that doesn't make me a crap teacher or a bad person.

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 05-Sep-10 13:22:34

Message withdrawn

durga Sun 05-Sep-10 13:22:41

Sorry am on I phone that above post is full of errors. Well done by the way on getting a job. This year many NQTs didn't .

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