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I know I am before you flame me, but F*cking pg announcements on FB!!

(126 Posts)
TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle Wed 18-Aug-10 19:31:19

I am friends with a former colleague and she has been with her dp for 9m. she has been moaning for the last 6m that its taking such a looooonnnnngggggg time for her to get up the pole. when I was having my last mc she bombarded me with q's about how i had got pg in the first place ffs.

she has just announced via status update that she is 2-3w pg. ive just burst into tears (evidently not as resigned as i thought) and had a rant at dh about it.

she has every right to be happy. she is not responsible for my problems, her being pg isnt the reason that i have such a shit womb, but im really upset about it.

so, yes, IABU but fb is not the place to announce a pg, especially so early. but then im a cynical bitter and barren witch.

thisisyesterday Wed 18-Aug-10 19:33:13

i think it's a bizarre way to announce it, and i personally wouldn't have done so that early AND I think she has less tact than um, well a really tactless person

but each to their own i guess.

choufleur Wed 18-Aug-10 19:35:21

I YABU. If that's how they want to tell people it's up to them. I do think it's a bit early but each to their own.

Maybe they've already told people close to them in person.

Ragwort Wed 18-Aug-10 19:35:28

I think it is stupid to announce you are pregnant at 2-3 weeks; (I also think it is stupid to be on FB - but that's a separate argument grin).

I am sorry you are feeling so sad.

prozacfairy Wed 18-Aug-10 19:35:32

Poor you. Was gonna say YABU but after all you've been through you're allowed to be upset.

No I wouldn't announce a pregnancy thats only 2-3 weeks old. My mind boggles as to why anyone would announce it that early, FB or not.

Maybe you should hide this person's status updates coz they'll only get worse as time goes on...

BTW she sounds very stupid/insensitive re the questions about your MC.

Lulumaam Wed 18-Aug-10 19:36:13

she's not your friend if she bombarded you with questions about pregnancy when you were having your miscarriage. which if she was a friend she would have known was not your first sad

2- 3 weeks pregnant.. waht does that even mean? she has just got a BFP?? why even post it..? i hope all goes well, but i thin there is something to be said for a bit of restraint

and i am being a tiny bit judgy about trying for a baby with a partner of 3 months.. if they've been togethr 9 mths and been trying for 6....

so flame me too !

2kids2dogsandahorse Wed 18-Aug-10 19:36:15

Jesus she's jumping the gun a bit if she's announcing it at 2-3 weeks and yes YABU but I can totally see where you're coming from

Katiekitty Wed 18-Aug-10 19:36:54

I can see why that would hurt GreenKirtle.
Please don't be so hard on yourself, you sound like you're hurting greatly with the harsh words you've used about yourself

TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle Wed 18-Aug-10 19:37:44

ah, i know full well that i AM being a tad (if not very) unreasonable. think i will hide her updates though. they are going to get v v bad, v v quickly.

SecretNutellaFix Wed 18-Aug-10 19:37:59

yanbu, especially when she's 2-3 weeks pregnant?

it's fine to get upset about everything that has happened to you- it's so damned unfair and you know what, you try so hard to be positive
that it's hard work, especially as you know what it's like if things go wrong. NOT that you would ever wish it upon anyone, but I think maybe waiting until after the first scan might be prudent.

compo Wed 18-Aug-10 19:38:32

Loads of people announce their pregnancy on facebook although usually after the twelve week scan and often by posting the scan pictures
don't take it personally
if you dislike her defriend her, which would be justifiable after her crass comments to you

TotalChaos Wed 18-Aug-10 19:38:41

I think it's a bit tasteless to use FB for something so personal (excepting of course those international far flung families where FB is a big means of communicating). I'ld hide her status updates, as if she's like that as soon as she's peed on the stick...

pirateparty Wed 18-Aug-10 19:40:01

That is tactless and mean.

I also don't 'get' the announcing pregnancies on fb - weird if you ask me. And telling anyone at 2-3 weeks is more than a bit odd, let alone on fb.

I'm sorry for you're having and have had such a difficult time. sad

ILovePonyo Wed 18-Aug-10 19:40:20

I don't think YABU. I remember how much it hurt when I saw peoples pregnancy announcements on fb after I had mc'd, you can't help how you feel.

To be honest though, after mc I hated pregnant women I saw smoking, another one I knew who went out getting hammered when pg, and generally anyone I saw who I didnt think "deserved" their children.

That may sound a bit wierd/judgey, but at the time I didn't care. I was bloody heartbroken.

Also I think it was insensitive of her to ask you about getting pg when you were having a mc.

TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle Wed 18-Aug-10 19:41:08

lulu, i did mention to her when she first started trying (she gave us all a blow by blow <boak> account) that maybe she was jumping the gun, but <shrug>.

oh god, she'll be posting pics of her belly next week wont she?!

JetLi Wed 18-Aug-10 19:41:32

YANBU FB is a cowpat from the devil's own herd.

teameric Wed 18-Aug-10 19:41:52

YANBU, I recently had a mc too and feel the same way, sorry for your loss sad
tbh she sounds like a fucking idiot.

cidre Wed 18-Aug-10 19:42:21

YANBU
And you are not any of those things you said.
Hope things improve for you.

sorrento56 Wed 18-Aug-10 19:42:53

Has she used a really early test or does she mean she is 2-3 weeks late?

BTw you are so no unreasonable. I am sorry you are so upset. I was sad when a cousin used a name I would have used had I not lost the baby. I was totally unreasonable as they didn't know anything about it.

Haliborange Wed 18-Aug-10 19:43:29

You know it's unreasonable to be cross about the FB thing. She's just excited, if a little silly. I suspect she'll regret it when she gets to about 8 months and everyone is sick to death of her pregnancy...
It is not at all unreasonable for you to have mixed feelings about someone else's pregnancy (esp if it is announced early) when you've been through the mill yourself. Yes, hide the updates.

Rockbird Wed 18-Aug-10 19:43:33

YABU, it's up to her to announce it whenever and however she likes, it's her business, not yours. Sorry, that's harsh and YANBU to be upset but ultimately it isn't your concern.

GeekOfTheWeek Wed 18-Aug-10 19:43:36

YANBU imo.

She is bloody insesitive and sounds very immature.

EricNorthmansmistress Wed 18-Aug-10 19:44:31

YANBU, that's weird. I have a friend who announced hers 2 weeks after IVF while she was actually bleeding. I tactfully suggested she might want to take it off until she knew for sure - she mc'd.

Julezboo Wed 18-Aug-10 19:45:19

Oh god, I felt the same when my brother and his gf announced theirs on FB when she was 3 weeks pg (they had only been together 5 week ffs!

I did announce mine on FB but not until I reached 13 weeks and only once all my family knew.

YANBU - hide her or better still, block her, shes a former colleague you'd need not ever see her again.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout Wed 18-Aug-10 19:47:11

I wouldn't announce it on fb (haven't in fact) as I know 1 of my friends has had many MCs and lots of fertility problems - and another has found out she won't be having any more as she has cancer. And they are 2 people I know about. I think it's pretty insensitive and very premature of her. I'm not surprised you are upset.

I don't think YABU.

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